Do you ever find yourself reading posts but not responding because...

[Keli]

You just don't know what to say? I'm thinking of posts that are telling about something painful, such as the death of a family memeber or a friend, or just a very sad situation that there really isn't anything that can be done to make it better. I often find myself closing those posts without responding because I wasn't able to finding the right thing to say. I have no problem comforting grieving people in person. I can usually think of the right things to say to let them know that I care and that I'm there to help and support them. But on the net I find that I struggle mightly to offer even the barest bit of sympathy. Every thing I write sounds canned, or trite, rarely does it come out like I actually feel it. I'm just wondering how many other folks have this problem on the CB.

 

[HauntedMansionGeek]

Same thing happens to me alllllll the time.
I don't think it's unusual to feel like this either.....I have such a short amount of time to be online that sometimes I just don't find the time to even READ all the threads here, no less find the time or words to actually reply to them.
Yep, sometimes the words are difficult to come by.

 

[olena]

I have been in that situation often. You've described what I've felt many times here.

 

[CamColt]

Oh yes. There have been a couple situations here lately when I have really wanted to post and I just didnt know what to say.

 

[Scratch42]

Scratch

 

[Dan Murphy]

Sometimes I am just scared to reply.

 

[browneyes]

Keli, you have never been canned or trite in your posts. You're a very sweet person.

Yeah, I get stumped on what to say sometimes. I get like that IRL too.

 

[cgcw]

Me too (not scared, just at a loss for the right words ). Sometimes my little one line looks so lost with the others who have replied and worded things so nicely.

 

[Gette88]

Yes, sometimes I just don't know what to write.

 

[tkyes]

I agree. No matter how sincere I may be, everything I type sounds phony.

Sometimes when there are a lot of responses I feel like I'm just repeating what everyone else says too.

Tamie

 

[Rajah]

Yep.

Usually, if it's a post about losing a loved one or a job or a similar situation, I'll try to reply with at least an "I'm sorry", P&PD, and hugs if I can't think of something more to say.

But sometimes, especially in other situations, I just don't reply because I'm not sure what to say. Or I know I want to say something but can't figure out the right way to word it.

 

[Lorix2]

Me too - I'm just not very good at expressing what I really mean and it may be taken the wrong way - so I just hit the back button.

 

[katerkat]

Originally posted by tkyes
Sometimes when there are a lot of responses I feel like I'm just repeating what everyone else says too.

Ditto - I mean, sometimes the condolences threads are 4-5 pages long by the time I read them, and all I can add is, well, what everyone else has said.

 

[JAP]

Originally posted by tkyes
I agree. No matter how sincere I may be, everything I type sounds phony.

Sometimes when there are a lot of responses I feel like I'm just repeating what everyone else says too.

Tamie

Many here don't know me very well but when I posted a while ago about my aunt/godmother and her illness and death it made me feel good even if someone just wrote "my sympathies to you and your family".

That small line made me feel happy inside. No matter how small the sentiment, it is THAT simple sentiment that counts to some folks. Sometimes all you need to see is that small gesture.

Take heart all of you posting to this thread, you never seem phony, trit or insincere when I have seen you post.

 

[RHONDALEE]

I do that all the time. I started a post last month asking for prayers and pixie dust because I didn't know if I was going to lose my job of 36 years (I didn't) and I was amazed that almost 50 people that I have never met and probably will never meet responded sending me their best wishes. I can't even put into words how GOOD that made me feel and yet I still find it hard to respond to someone else's post and send the good feeling's along to them.
What do you say all us "non responders" to making a pact that the next post we read where someone needs prayers and pixie dust WE RESPOND and send along some good feelings. We might even feel good ourselves.

Rhonda

 

[shep]

Yep, I do that..Sometimes I don't reply to other things because I know people will get all carried away or misunderstand what i'm trying to say..

 

[Jillpie]

I completely agree with Jap and Rhonda. When I posted about my DH's struggle with trying to find a job after 8 months of being out of work (he got one!), I will never forget the pages of support that came from the Dis. It was so comforting, each and every one. It made me feel like, hey, I'm really not alone!! Because when you are going through a really difficult time, that is how you feel. So when you have the courage to post about the biggest problem of your life, and people respond, it is so heartwarming.

I know what you mean about not knowing what to say. But please, say it anyway. It means the world to the OP. I still want to say thank you to everyone that tried to help me!

 

[gshoemate]

Yes, I do this all the time. I don't deal well with bad news, I never have. I believe it is from the way I was raised. But I found myself in the reverse situation last night. We found out that one of DH"s friends from back home passed away. He was grieving and I did't feel right to dump my grieving on him (i was grieving for someone i lost over a year ago that I never dealt with) so I posted a message here. Sometimes a hug is all you need to feel a little better. But I also understand how hard it is to reply to sad posts.

 

[Blondie]

Very often I am amazed at how well some can write such eloquent posts. I am usually at a loss for words, then think of the perfect thing to say after the fact.

Other times, I practice the "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all" and hit the back button.

 

[Claudia1]

All the time! I agree, sometimes it sounds so canned or like a cliche.

Glad to hear from some recipients that those one-liners are seen as heart-felt.