Do you "Double Punish" your children?

[dvcfamily41801]

I guess we "double punish" but its because we want our son to realize that misbehaving in school will not be tolerated. My DH and I have tremendous respect for teachers and are trying to teach our son to have the same respect. Now that he is not in daycare, we do not see his teachers everyday to find out if something happened. The past two years they had a stop light in the classroom. Each child had a clothespin with their name on it and started out on green, moved to yellow and then to red if they would misbehave. After the first day of red last October, our son realized what the punishment would be and we had no problems. Not saying that he was a total angel, but I think I can count on 1 hand the amount of times he made it to yellow. Even yellow, lost TV for the night. We could also tell by the look on his face if he had a problem in school that day.

 

[eeyore kelly]

We double punish too. I usually take away something until the conduct grde is brought up to an acceptable level.

 

[DVCLiz]

Usually I don't double punish.

At our school, the disciplinary process is very clearly defined. For each infraction, a child brings home a form which is to be filled out by both student and parent, and retunred so that student and teacher can discuss and plan for better future behavior. These range from minor infractions like dress code mistakes, all the way up to lying, cheating or stealing, which are the BIG THREE. For a really bad situation, not only are teachers involved, but also school administrators up to and including the principal.

So kids know going in what the behaviour expectations are, and if you get a form you are held accountable. And it's a BAD punishment for my children to have to own up to the behavior to begin with, and they usually have an extreme reaction. So if I think I'm getting what I need out of the process, which is a child who is truly remorseful and agrees to improve that behavior significantly, then adding the no TV on top doesn't feel necessary to me.

If someone starts to blow off the school's process, though, you can bet I'd be adding some punishments on top.

 

[laurietg]

There is a time to talk at school and there is a time to be quiet. In my class you can talk in between songs and when I'm working with another section.

You cannot talk if I'm giving whole class instruction, during tests, or if another student has asked a question and it is that student's turn.

I'm not shushing a child's free spirit when I ask them to be quiet. I am teaching them a new skill or concept and if they are talking they probably aren't listening. I am doing my job as the teacher and the child is doing his or her job as the student.

To the OP, thank you for reinforcing the proper respect to the teacher and other students at home.

I understand what you are saying. I can't imagine what it would be like in your classroom if you didn't have those rules in place, and it sounds as though you respect the children and are teaching them that also.

My sister has chosen to homeschool her DD because of the things she witnessed in schools she taught in. When I read the original post, I did not picture the environment you just described. That's why I said I might be over reacting. You really sound like a great teacher, but unfortunately, there are many out there who stink!

 

[poohandwendy]

I actually do not consider my punishment a 'double punishment'. The only way I would is if I punished them twice for the same 'crime', which I don't. My kids know that there is a punishment the school will have and there is a punishment I will have.

Depending on the 'crime', I may or may not punish them. Or I may punish them MORE harshly than the school did because I think it deserves a harsher punishment.

Disrespecting an adult is a BIG one for me. That would deserve a harsh punishment, where the school might find it to be a small infraction.

Fighting would be one where I would consider the circumstances...like when my son retaliated when a boy started with him. The school policy is zero tolerance and her received 1 day out...I didn't punish him at all for it because the assistant principal TOLD ME that the other kid admitted that he started it by shoving my son off his chair from behind. I expect my kids to stand up for themselves, but never to start it. I
i understand the school policy and so did he.

Basically it all depends.

i would stick with the agreement. She came up with it, anyways. And it really isn't THAT big of a deal, no scooter for a week. Another lesson learned. Isn't parenting fun!?