Do you do WDW with extended family?????

[Luv2CtheMouse]

We did it once and will NEVER and I do mean NEVER do it again. My MIL was such a whiney little drama queen and always wanted her way and it made all of us except FIL sick.

 

[Luv2CtheMouse]

1) We have done extended family since 1995.
2) The numbers are 14-19 people each trip.
3) And, of course, Grandpa pays for everything - even souvenir allowances.
4) Unfortunately, I AM GRANDPA !

 

[Kick Save]

We've had people join us for a few days here and there - my dad for a couple days since he winters in Bradenton, my cousin lives in Tampa she comes over, and we were all down there for a wedding once so a few days with my dad, his wife, and my aunt and uncle. All of those were just short, one or two days together, then we went on with the rest of our week as just our family. (four of us, three of us for one trip as #4 was on his way )

Then last summer, we got the bright idea to take my wife's parents and my grandma for a full 7 day trip. 5 nights in the Boardwalk Villas in seperate studios, and two nights at the POP in an adjoining room. Overall, it was a pretty good trip. My gram kept asking, "How'd they do that?" So I just had to keep responding, "Magic, Gram...that's the magic."

My MIL isn't one to complain directly to the person that needs to hear, but rather let the grapevine do its job. So, she would act like she was having fun on something or other, then the next day you'd find out "through the grapevine" (which consisted of my FIL and DW at the time) that she really didn't enjoy whatever-it-was that much. Those cases were limited.

My only main issue was as tour guide - a position I volunteered for willingly - by the end of the week I was about done with that. Asking four peopley, "Would you rather do A or B," and getting a response of, "Oh, we don't care, you pick something," DROVE ME NUTS! I gave recommendations and overviews of attractions before hand, and still got, "Oh, we don't care, you pick something."

That said, I'd do the same trip again. Next time, though, there will be some built in separation time. I'll plan the trip, I have no problem with that, but I'm sending the "we don't care, you pick something" people off on their own for a while so they can explore the World themselves.

None of that answers the OP's question, I don't think. For the OP, I usually go the honest route...tell mom you really need a family vacation for a while. Maybe invite them for part of it, but explain that your own family really wants some time together. If she gets upset at that, I don't really think it's your problem.

Then get a room at the Poly and put them up at the AKL.

 

[Sleeping Becca]

We have done extended family trips. We ALWAYS bring my mom she and my hubby get along great! He wouldn't dream of going to Disney without her. Mainly because he likes to play golf almost everyday and he doesn't feel as guilty if my mom is with us. My brother and sister sometimes tag along and this has never been a problem.

That said, my aunt and her family also like to come on our trips. I love them dearly, but they fight about EVERYTHING and they are always late. On our last trip together I made our dinner ADRs together and told them that we would do our own thing and meet in the evenings for dinner. This did not work. They still were with us 90% of the time. It seemed we were always waiting for one of them. Basically it was stressful trying to keep everyone happy.

The next trip we didn't invite my aunt's family and their feelings were hurt. We just told them that we wanted a family only trip, which really wasn't true because we brought my mom! They were OK with our decision but still dissapointed.

We now invite them on our cruise vacations, it seems to work better. Not as much stress and drama.

We are planning a Disney trip in 2007 and they want to come. So now I'm trying to figure out how to include them and not go crazy!

So it sounds like we're in the same boat!

If you go to Disney every year, invite them to go every other year. Tell them it is important that you and your family go alone sometimes. I would not lie or not tell your mom you're going to Disney. Because she will find out and it will hurt worse.

If your family only sees your mom and dad a couple times a year it would seem like they could at least tolerate them for a week. Your teenage daughter doesn't have to hang with grandma she can go on her own while in the parks. If grandpa is a complainer, let him know that if he's tired he can go back to the hotel, or he can explore on his own. In the end only you know how to deal with your family.

Good Luck!

 

[edk35]

I am sure I will end up inviting them but I will probaby tell them to just come on Sat. Which means they would get there at like 2:00 or 3:00 ...which would give us all day Friday and a good portion of Saturday. We arrive Thursday night but we won't do anything that night. We fly out on Wed. so realistically 3 1/2 days. It is a shorter trip for us. We usually go for 7-9 days and that is just too long with them. You are right in that we don't see my parents but 2-3 times a year and WE Should be able to tolerate them.....I guess it is the pacing that slows us down. I will keep you all posted on what I end up doing.



Thanks again

Denise

 

[carone0318]

We have done the extended family trip, the last one was our family - myself, dh, dd and ds and then my ILs (MIL & FIL) and also BIL. We had a great time. We are DVC members so we paid for the room at BWV, we had a 2bdrm. ILs paid for our meals, which was nice, but we weren't planning for it, so it was a nice surprise. Our surprise to MIL was a scooter. She ahs MS and while she may look healthy, she can not walk a far distance. This was the best gift. She loved it and no one had to push a wheelchair for the entire trip. We had such a good time that we are going back in 2007.

This time we are bringing another BIL and family. We did do everything together last trip and most likey will again, but it was because everyone wanted to not because we felt we had too (big difference!)

 

[Pumbaa_]

I feel your dilemma. We meet my parents at WDW each January for a week. We don't spend all day together though. I would lose it spending all day every day with them (and I love them dearly)

We compromise. We often start the day together, maybe have lunch and then separate after lunch. Sometimes we hook backup for fireworks or a show.

Talk to your Mom. Tell her you love them dearly, but you need more family time on your vacations.

My parents have their own little rituals now when we go. They like going to the campgrounds for lunch and we don't. So they tell us all about it when we get back together again.

And adjoining rooms? No way here! Same floor is ok, sharing a wall,

 

[edk35]

That is a nice trip but my parents have been on every trip we have been on except the one in Jan. 2005. It might be different if they went on a couple but they are there 24/7 with connecting rooms. UGH

 

[SaraMc]

We have also done the mass trip with the whole extended family and both my sister and my Dh said at one point while we were litterally being lined up by age by my mother for a photo. Never again. I love my mom to death but we wont travel with her again. Anywhere. We all had connecting rooms, My mom gets up VERY early at this point DH and I were just newly weds and were out often on our own at night to PI. 5:45 she started knocking on our doors to start to get up and get ready. After the third day, DH came to her and said that he needs sleep and that he is on vacation. Please stop. She was in a huff for the rest of the week.
We went again two years ago with my sister and her family and we did some things together but had some time apart. MUCH better. My mom didnt want to go. Why? We picked a time of year she doesnt like to go to FLA. Febuary. She doesnt like how unpredicatable the weather can be. We were ok with it.
When we got home we did talk to her to, I remember starting the conversation, please listen to what I have to say and try to understand where I am coming from, please dont take this as a personal attack on you. She understood after some tears that we dont always have to spend our time together and that we as a family need some time apart on vacation too.

Good luck, try talking to your Dad first or if that wont work and they decide that they are coming along. Set up ground rules. Perhaps just Dinner together or Breakfast in the morning. Perhaps they can take the kids for the day and you and your DH can go do something else. That's what my sister and I are going to do when we go again in Feb.

 

[rkujay]

Sorry to tell you. It's not Disney. It's not that Dad walks slowly, or Mom hovers. It is the close proximity of those close to you for an extended period of time.
We just spent 5 days with my Sis and her three kids (two in high school and one spoiled). We get up early, and... you can guess the rest. They live "up north" and get the vapors in our Florida heat. Did I mention that while they complained about the heat, they never once swam? Oh well, we will now begin planning our next Disney vacation with them next year.
We brought DW's Sis and her two (devils) sons to Disney. We paid for airfare, lodging (at YC), tix, food, etc. The boys hated it, and hate me for making them "do stuff".
They arrive next week. Wanna guess where we are going?
"It's all good" , as the current vernacular goes.

 

[marconat]

OMG, do I completely understand you!!! I went through the exact same thing... my dad had trouble walking so we rented a wheelchair, it was hard to push around and I was dead after a few hours and he complained about everything, he wanted to go shopping out of Disney, did not understand why we had to stay in the parks, he wanted to go Fleemarket hunting...(did not pay for 7 days in Disney to go to Fleemarkets)... my Mom loves it there but she also has trouble keeping up, but not as bad as my dad... So when we decided to go to Disneyland last August,my sister asked my mom to come too... well it was half fine, but she can not go in all the rides so she was left behind, so she started complaining, and getting upset and crying... what a nightmare... my husband doesn't want to go back with them, they have trouble walking which makes it harder... So this trip coming in Jan... they are not coming... and my sister felt bad... so she is bringing them to Nashville for 2 weeks... asked me if I wanted to go to......NOoooo way... ha! ha! I love them to death, but it's a little harder for them now, too much walking etc.. So now everyone is happy and I will have a nice relaxing trip (cross my fingers)

 

[Took]

B/c we've had similar problems with inlaws the last few years (and other family members) we just kindly say we need time alone as a family. Then, we go alone. That's it, no explanations necessary. You can always arrange other kinds of trips with or visits to Mom and Dad. I agree with your DH--too much money to waste with others who drag down the vacation.

took

 

[Nancyg56]

1)
4) Unfortunately, I AM GRANDPA !

My DH would be all over this! Last January our family went together, and my DH had his wallet open all week. My DGD had every stuffed toy she wanted, and was as happy as an indulged a Princess should be and we all ate like Kings and Queens. Well this year he was teasing that he may not go, and she said, "But Pa, you have to go. If you stay home, who is going to pay?" Out of the mouths of babes.....

 

[PaulaSue]

We did but we only went one time.

It was both sets of our parents, we are both onlies.

We had rooms right next to each other and a meal ressie each day together.

We spend some of the day together each day but not all day. We actually had a big discussion about this before out trip when we were planning.

I think things went really well and we are talking about them coming along again when we go back in 3 1/2 -4 1/2 years (once youngest is 48 inches) if they can health wise.

 

[Brise Nannie]

Ahh, Denise...I find myself in a similar situation and I too live in Maryland. Are we related? We have planned a "Gathering" for December which includes my DD, SIL, 2 grandsons, my parents, DH and me. I love my father dearly but he has 'grumpy pants' most of the time and I doubt he'll get 'happy pants' any time real soon. I'm concerned the trip won't be fun for Mom who like your mother would go anywhere and do anything with us just as long as she's on vacation. DD and I joke about leaving Pop on a bench and we'll go back and get him when it's time to eat. [I know I'm going to get punished somehow for thinking this way] He's happy when he's thinking about or eating food. I wish I could offer some helpful solution. I'm going to just go with the flow, try not to stress, and hope for the best.

 

[edk35]

My DH would be all over this! Last January our family went together, and my DH had his wallet open all week. My DGD had every stuffed toy she wanted, and was as happy as an indulged a Princess should be and we all ate like Kings and Queens. Well this year he was teasing that he may not go, and she said, "But Pa, you have to go. If you stay home, who is going to pay?" Out of the mouths of babes.....

My kids get soooo spoiled at Disney with my parents too. My mom can't say NO. My older two love the pins....and OMG...she will spend 2-300 on pins for them. Of course they eat it up. It just gets out of hand.

 

[edk35]

Well......my dad likes to go but that doesn't last long. LOL He probably would be fine NEVER GOING AGAIN. He indulges my mom basically. I just think that I set up this mess by always asking them in years past. WE also lived overseas for 4 years..so when we came back in the summers...we went with them. It just seem RIGHT.

Denise

Ahh, Denise...I find myself in a similar situation and I too live in Maryland. Are we related? We have planned a "Gathering" for December which includes my DD, SIL, 2 grandsons, my parents, DH and me. I love my father dearly but he has 'grumpy pants' most of the time and I doubt he'll get 'happy pants' any time real soon. I'm concerned the trip won't be fun for Mom who like your mother would go anywhere and do anything with us just as long as she's on vacation. DD and I joke about leaving Pop on a bench and we'll go back and get him when it's time to eat. [I know I'm going to get punished somehow for thinking this way] He's happy when he's thinking about or eating food. I wish I could offer some helpful solution. I'm going to just go with the flow, try not to stress, and hope for the best.

 

[Rudy6]

My mom's been with a twice. The second time during Epcot's Food and Wine Festival. She babysat so we could go to a couple of the events. That was very nice.

 

[Nancyg56]

My kids get soooo spoiled at Disney with my parents too. My mom can't say NO. My older two love the pins....and OMG...she will spend 2-300 on pins for them. Of course they eat it up. It just gets out of hand.

My DD and SIL are easy when it comes to our indulging the little one as she is the only one we have. She is 4, and has decided that she will not pack an extra suitcase with all of her favorites as she did the last time. She is bringing an empty one so that there are no lumps for the return trip.

Now my DH is still in charge of recharging the entire troup (this year there will be 7 of us, last year we also had a niece and nephew and sis in law join us from my previous marriage, he fed the bunch of us) at mealtimes, so I imagine he needs to grease up his hand to wallet action.