Do you buy Tix for Girlfriend / Boyfriend?

[2girlsmomma]

I think it's up to you, whatever you decide, to be very clear on what you are paying for before offering a trip. It would be difficult for them to say later, " Sorry, Mr. X, I can't afford XYZ."
I think it would be better to pay for meals rather than a ticket if you need to choose. Then the the guy doesn't feel bad about having to order cheap or trying to scrimp money to eat.
It'd be awesome to pay the whole thing

 

[disney-inspired]

We try to make it down from Hotlanta to WDW every year.

In years past we have taken our kids - and their friends. Depending upon those going - we have asked their friends to purchase Tix. In other years we knew the friends family could not afford it - so they were gratis.

But, both kids are now college age. We hope to get a BOG Ressie for lunch - that will be on me. We are DVC so any groceries will be paid with my wore out AMEX.

We have invited the daughters BF and sons GF! Two great kids who I love dearly*. My wife and I have just began the discussion and we want to do the right thing. Must the invitor pay the freight?

This is a little tricky. It's not like you're just inviting them to a restaurant (where its assumed the invitor pays). I think since you are providing them a place to sleep and possibly transportation (don't know if they're driving with you) that you can ask them to pay for their own tickets. That's a steal. If that ever happens to me, I would be more than grateful.

*Note - while the BF does not know - my son and I refer to him as old #24. When he is gone - we will welcome old #25 in to the fold. Unlike Old *1 through Old # 23 he is the only dude me and my son actually liked! I made my May '15 ressie yesterday and they asked if there would be a celebration? I told them if Old # 24 is with us - we will be celebrating!

Thanks!

That is hilarious.

 

[MPB82]

This past Christmas my (future) mother in law surprised her family (husband, 20 year old marine son, 16 year old son, 26 year old daughter and myself the future SIL) a cruise on royal carribian. We paid for food drinks excersions tips etc. everything that wasn't the room. You should expect the same for any non deadbeat free loader. Having your children's significant others in invited does not mean a free all expenses paid trip.

 

[GotLabradors]

FWIW, when I was in college, even if one of my boyfriend's parents had invited me to go along on vacation, I would have had to decline unless they covered all the costs. Like others have mentioned, there just wasn't any money for such things in my budget, and my parents couldn't afford to pay for me, either.

So, I'd offer to cover the tickets for them.

 

[Love Tink]

We have invited the daughters BF and sons GF! Two great kids who I love dearly*. My wife and I have just began the discussion and we want to do the right thing. Must the invitor pay the freight?

You say that you "have invited," which would indicate that you asked these people already. So, did you:

A) Make it clear when you asked them that the invitation did not necessarily extend to paying for everything, just that you would like to have them along and the financial specifics could be worked out later.

or

B) Invite them to come to Disney World! Period.

I think very different things are expected based on A vs. B.

 

[TraderE]

If you extend the invitation to someone to come with you on your vacation, then you really should pick up the tab.

I guess I'm in the minority but I completely disagree. I think the OP should cover room and board for the trip. However, I believe the boyfriend and girlfriend should be covering park tickets. And OP, are you flying and/or driving? If you're flying, I also think they should cover the airplane tickets. That is standard.

Whenever I ask my girlfriend if she wants to go on a trip with me, she doesn't assume that I'm covering the whole bill. I cover parts of it and she covers other parts. That's the way it should work.

 

[BudgieMama]

I guess I'm in the minority but I completely disagree. I think the OP should cover room and board for the trip. However, I believe the boyfriend and girlfriend should be covering park tickets. And OP, are you flying and/or driving? If you're flying, I also think they should cover the airplane tickets. That is standard.

Whenever I ask my girlfriend if she wants to go on a trip with me, she doesn't assume that I'm covering the whole bill. I cover parts of it and she covers other parts. That's the way it should work.

I agree.

I would expect university age adults to be paying their own way in some way. I wouldn't have expected to be offered a "free" holiday by anyone other than my mum at that age (and even that was a surprise when she did!)

 

[Princess Disney Mom]

Thanks for this thread. I know now not to invite a friend of my college age children to WDW. I can't afford that kind of vacation for someone else. I have taken young adults to the beach but the costs were minimal.

 

[kathy884]

From what I've seen it's pretty common for families inviting young adults along who are friends or girlfriends/boyfriends of their children to pay for most, but not all expenses.

Considerations are: Financial circumstances of the family doing the inviting and finance circumstances of the young adult being invited.

The main thing I think is to just figure it all out ahead of time and communicate expectations about what you'd pay / what you wouldn't pay up front, so that they young person can make an appropriate decision. I also wouldn't want to invite a young person to do something that they really couldn't afford and expect them to pay.

*************************************************************
Some examples from my extended family:

My nephew who is 20 was just invited to spend two weeks in the UK and Paris with another family. They are paying for his air and lodging and told him he'd be responsible for his own food and attraction tickets. They will in all likelihood cover a few meals too. // It's a nice deal for him, as he's not in the position where he could afford Europe on his own. In fact he's over there right now.

In June, we did an extended family trip to Kauai, HI with a party of 10. The one person who was not an extended family member who came was my niece's fiancé (a 21 year old working part time and still in college). My niece recently graduated from college and has a job in her field, but isn't flush in money either. Anyway grandpa covered the expenses for air/lodging/major tourist attraction tickets/most food for the 20 something grandchildren who are just starting off and/or are in college and offered to do the same for the fiancé. My nieces' fiancé said thank you so much / so generous of you. I'll take you up on that, but I'll cover my own air, as I have frequent flyer miles I can use. I think this earned him a few brownie points with grandpa too for making a contribution.

We are considering the same thing for upcoming vacations with our son who is a freshman in college (might we want to let him invite the girlfriend?). Anyway, for spring break to Puerto Vallarta we decided no -- as we didn't want to cover air, more expensive lodging than what we would get otherwise for sleeping arrangements we would be comfortable with, and some pricey tours (it's not in our budget for a fourth person), and the girlfriend and girlfriend's parents are not in an financial position to cover that.

For another trip we are taking to Rocky Mountain National Park / Estes Park where we will rent a large condo and airfare is relatively inexpensive for getting out there (like $300 pp), and we are already renting a minivan so have plenty of room, we are thinking about maybe letting him invite her if they are still dating and covering air, lodging, food, and having her just cover any souvenirs / miscellaneous snacks. We do really like her, and in this case this would fit just fine with our vacation budget, not be overly expensive for us to add another person, but would still be a bit of a stretch for the girlfriend financially if she were paying her way. And although her parents could pay for this, we're in a better position to cover this financially than they are, so would go ahead and do this.

 

[disneyjunkie]

You're inviting a grown behind man on a trip that is 9 months away. A decent man would thank you for providing the room and not think twice about paying for his own tickets, meals and spending money.

Nine months is plenty of time for him to save enough money to cover his expenses.

 

[ladyjubilee]

I don't believe there is an automatic rule. I went to uni aboard and had flat mates from a wide range of background. I fell in the mid range of resources-with planning I could afford trips. One flat mates family was, uber wealthy, as in top 2% wealthy. Another was literally a refugee from Sudan.

Obviously, when we went places with my friend from Sudan's family and friends, we paid our own ways, including contributing towards transport. But when our friend from Indias family invited us, we didn't. Frankly, I at least could never have afforded to "go" at the way they do.

So I think it depends. I don't think you're obligated, but at the same time its not really nice to plan a trip for someone you know can't afford it.

 

[mom2rtk]

You say that you "have invited," which would indicate that you asked these people already. So, did you:

A) Make it clear when you asked them that the invitation did not necessarily extend to paying for everything, just that you would like to have them along and the financial specifics could be worked out later.

or

B) Invite them to come to Disney World! Period.

I think very different things are expected based on A vs. B.

I think if they expected the guests to pay part of the cost, that needed to be clear at the time of the invitation.

 

[ToddyLu]

Disclosure: DH and I do not have children and have never invited children including nieces and nephews to Disney.

But my parents join us and at times my MIL and BIL ( not currently married) on trips. We are DVC so they get the room at no cost and have their own studio like us. We now pay for meals with our TIW card for the discount and split it in half back home, with just MIL we split it three ways. DH does the financial planning with his Mom and I with my parents.

They pay for transportation (drive or fly), and tickets.

If I was college age and the trip was 9 months away and someone said we would like to "pay your way" to Disney I would demand to pay for my transportation and tickets at least and then prob give something for my meals. It would be hard for me to go otherwise.

In 1985 at age 16 my Mother paid for a 30 day trip to Europe for me on a tour. I babysat for the year and earned about $750 dollars for my spending money, and probably saved my birthday money. She did not give me any spending money and it was up to me to choose wisely while there. I came back I remember with 15 pounds. I grew up being told you do your part when someone invites you some where. I went with a friend From Mississippi to New Jersey to visit her Grandmother, I remember my parents making sure they gave my friends Mom money for food and souvenirs for me--I was in 7th grade I think. We stayed with Grandma.

I think the invitees could handle their tickets since it is a known cost up front and can be managed by adults in that length of time. Being invited and having a place to stay at Disney World is nice enough and warrants my financial contribution for the opportunity. It is life lesson #43.

 

[ladynmom94]

Interesting points of view here, i agree with most being said. I agree with others that at times it does depend on your income & the income of the family that you are inviting from. I have invited nieces, nephews & friends of my 3 DDs to numerous places & most times i end up picking up all the costs when I can because i know the kids wouldn't be able to experience these things otherwise.

I am looking at August 2015 for our next Disney trip & have already put the word out to a couple of moms that I would love for their daughter's to join my DDs if they can (one girl is my niece, one has been a friend to DD from K5 to now 8th grade) . I will cover food,lodging, and airfare (with points), all I ask is for them to cover park tix & souvenir $. I let them know upfront the cost of the park tix, my sister excitedly said of course she would pay that so my niece could go, the other mom said she would have to see as the time approaches. I have since learned that this family is struggling financially, if i would have known this i most likely would have waited to the time got closer & only asked if I knew that I could afford to swing the extra cost. Most likely, knowing me, I will find a way to make it work. This girl loves Disney everything, it's rare to catch her without a Disney t-shirt on, she can watch Disney movies for hours on end, will spontaneously breakout into Disney song.....how could i NOT take this girl, seriously?!!! Just to see her face see the castle for the first time or eat at BOG, I would pay 3x over (if i could)!

On a side note, after asking my sister if my niece could join us, she asked me to price out a trip for her family so maybe we could all go at the same time (there would be 9 of them total) Since giving her the numbers (onsite vs offsite, all ticket options, with & without possible discounts, flying vs driving) i have not heard a peep from her about going anymore, LOL Sticker shock, maybe?

 

[Gilrond]

I have invited DB and family - wife, daughter, SIL, and 2 grands. I will pay for lodging and tickets. Will get AP and TIW to lower food cost and we will end up splitting that. DB spoke up from the get go about contributing so we will work together. I would have been willing to cover all as I offered the invite but appreciate his offer. I only wanted to make it possible for my DB and family to be with me for my 60th birthday.

So every situation is different and parties need to discuss up front. I personally feel an invite implies covering at least some of the expenses.

 

[sethschroeder]

Thanks for this thread. I know now not to invite a friend of my college age children to WDW. I can't afford that kind of vacation for someone else. I have taken young adults to the beach but the costs were minimal.

No don't do that, I think most people are way off base in this thread. Knowing quite a few recent college grads and coming out of college a couple years back I would have never expected to be paid for except by my parents. Even by my aunts and uncles I wouldn't expect it but they likely would cover my cost for anything.

When I do have kids the rule will be I only pay for family. Meaning fiancées and spouses. If there is a misunderstanding it's a good thing I won't see them at work then I guess.

Anyone to expect a free holiday with no expense is a little out of line. If they don't offer to pay something (especially the guy) would show me he doesn't value the relationship with me or my wife.

I would just set the guideline of what you will pay for. Might have missed this opportunity and might have some mad kids at this point. When telling your kids to invite someone you probably should have outlined what they need to pay then.

Biggest question in the couple months of planning will they even still be a couple?

 

[fbb]

This kid is in a tough spot. GF is a maneater, and Pops is clever and enjoys seeing him squirm. He can't honorably accept or refuse this vacation.

 

[Lavitz]

I think if they expected the guests to pay part of the cost, that needed to be clear at the time of the invitation.

Please, please this. If you expect someone to pay when you invite them on a vacation, please make it perfectly clear when you invite them what you expect so there are no surprises later on. Or having to awkwardly cancel the week before when you actually have the talk.

Back on topic, I think a lot of people are forgetting what it was like being in college/uni. As a few have mentioned, these "kids" for lack of a better word are usually hard pressed putting up tuition/books/lodging etc expenses. Expecting them to come up with airfare and multi day tickets money is a bit unreasonable. If they are a few years out of school fine, but when they're still students I wouldn't expect it. For me this means if you're inviting a college/uni aged students or younger on your family trip you really should expect to pick up the bill. If you can't afford it easy, just don't extend the invite. Another good option is as others have done with family friends, talk to them and explain what you can afford to pick up, and see if they can afford the rest.

 

[CinderElsa]

Growing up and through college, when friends were invited on vacation, my parents always paid for everything for them. I can't imagine my parents ever asking if I'd like to invite a friend and then giving me a spreadsheet of what the friend was supposed to be paying for. I agree that if you have not specified upfront that the guy will be responsible for certain expenses, it's too late to do so now. (Common sense that he would bring money for snacks, souvenirs, etc, though.)

Now, when we go on family trips, friends are generally not included, because we so rarely have time to spend all together as a family, and when I personally travel with friends or DBF, we all split the costs. DBF has traveled with us and paid for his own flight (from a different location) and miscellaneous expenses (not the hotel - and he was allowed to pick up the tab for a meal after a memorable argument with my father), but he is a grown man in his mid 20s with an established career. Expecting a college kid to foot the bill for a Disney vacation is unreasonable, in my opinion.