Do you buy gifts for people

[Michie]

You really don't want to? already this morning, 2 people have talked to me about "having" to buy gifts for people that would rather not buy for

I know the first 2 years that me and the Dh were married we bought for his side of the family, I did all the shopping, and did not enjoy it in the least. I did not know them well, so it was hard to shop for them. I would call them to get ideas, they wouldn't give me any clues, and then what we did buy for them, they would complain.The 3rd year, the Dh did all the shopping for them, and they still complained It was after buying my SIL a gift card( for her birthday) and her getting mad and throwing it in the trash, we decided no more gift exchanging.

My niece called me this morning, and told me that she needed new tires for her car, but she would have to wait till after Christmas because she had to buy all these gifts for people she doesn't really care for. No, I am not one of them

So how many of you feel compelled to buy gifts for people you would rather not?

 

[Chicago526]

Not me! DH and I only give gifts to family and friends (and all are people we love/like!). I do give gifts to my co-workers, but I like all of them, and they give me gifts too.

 

[goodeats]

I like giving gifts to my family. But honestly, I'd rather just not exchange gifts with all of them. Maybe just my sister. My parents are ridiculously hard to shop for and they never seem to really appreciate what we do buy. I'd rather just go on a family trip at Christmas than exchange presents.

I don't even like getting gifts from my husband. I love buying him gifts, but he isn't as good at it. He'll say what do you want, and I'll say XX, and I'll get XX. But then couldn't I have done the same thing? Especially since it's both our money. I just wish he'd be more creative and pay attention to what I'd want instead of asking directly. I'm not an enigma!

I started a new job last Summer, and when Christmas came around I was aghast that people brought in gifts for the whole department (about 12 people). Not big things, but things like hand soap from BBW and the like. I bought an ornament set and gave one to each person. I may buy one at WDW since I'll be there in Dec.

So, yes I buy gifts because I have to, not because I want to.

 

[marybet]

I had to buy for my BIL's family and I just didn't like it. We never see them, they never call, my DH still calls his brother but his brother never calls him. Finally last year his sister called and said let's not exchange and she called her brother too. Yeah. I don't work anymore so don't have to do that.

So not so much for Christmas anymore, but the bosses daughter got married and had to buy her a gift. There are somethings we just have to do.

I like giving gifts but don't like to feel obligated to do so. This year I am going to get a couple of names from the angel trees and buy gifts for some kids who really need them.

 

[cardaway]

I don't even like getting gifts from my husband. I love buying him gifts, but he isn't as good at it. He'll say what do you want, and I'll say XX, and I'll get XX. But then couldn't I have done the same thing? Especially since it's both our money. I just wish he'd be more creative and pay attention to what I'd want instead of asking directly. I'm not an enigma!

My wife and I rarely buy gifts for each other either. We prefer to buy what when we see it on sale, and agree there is no point on storing it away until a certain date. Given the shared money factor, it's not like there is any secret.

I do make exceptions on things like our anniversary. Usually buy jewelry since she likes me to buy what I want her to wear. I have to wait until the last few days before so it is a little bit of a surprise, but it's all out there the next time she goes online to check the history.

 

[pattyT]

every year...

 

[RadioNate]

yep I have to buy for a great aunt and her daughter (my mother's cousin). While they are family, I rarely see them, I don't know them well and frankly I find them both a tad bit annoying.

The great aunt is ok. She loves to get slippers or something similar but the cousin person is annoying. Last year I got her some fancy bubblebath that was in a wine bottle, I put it in one of those cardboard wine boxes. Her response was 'oh what a pretty box, I don't take baths.' I could have just given her the $2 Target box instead of the $20 bubble bath.

She sews and crafts and my grandmother got her a gift card to JoAnne Fabrics, like a $200 gift card, and she said "I like the yarn at Michael's better but I can use this for...." The woman is 60 years old, you'd think she'd know better than to slam a gift while she's opening it.

She gave my mom a shellacked loaf of bread one year (no I'm not kidding) and we all said how cute and creative it was not 'what am I supposed to do with this."

 

[Pugsley]

Not anymore and I’m thrilled about it. We’ve all decided just not to do it (we don’t have any children in the family). I’ve always had a hard time enjoying Christmas because deciding what to get everyone, shopping in crowded malls, and spending all that money really stressed me out. And it just gets harder every year since none of us really need anything, and if we do we buy it for ourselves. It started to get where we were giving gift cards and that seemed so silly – it was like just sitting around exchanging money with each other. So I finally talked about it with my friends, co-workers and family and we all agreed we’d be happy to just stop doing it. Less stress for everyone and now we can just enjoy the season and each other’s company and have a lot less to worry about. I probably sound like a scrooge, but I’m happy!

 

[DisneyJen0504]

No. We buy gifts for our parents and siblings. Then each side of our family does a secret santa so we will 2 more gifts there and its fun. Then I buy for 2 girlfriends that I have known forever. We don't have children yet nor do any of our friends or siblings so that is easy too.
Honestly, if I had to buy a gift for someone I didn't want to, I would be wondering why we are exchanging gifts in the first place.

 

[laurie31]

I love shopping and I don't mind buying all the gifts for my family and DH's family, but I don't like the "unofficially required" giving at work. There are 10 co-workers that I'm expected to exchange gifts with and I don't know them that well (although I like them, and we get along great at work, I don't really have much in common with them outside of work). We end up getting each other socks, candles, etc. This year, they're getting scarves. It's kind of a pain to spend $50-75 on gifts that you fear will end up in the goodwill box one day. I hope they like scarves. Also, we each have to give $25 towards a BIG gift for the boss. In return she takes us all out to eat at a nice restaurant, where we have our Christmas party and play dirty Santa. Ooh, I forgot - that's another $25 gift. It has to be something nice, not a white elephant gift. Sigh. And one does not steal the boss's gift. Too funny!

My first year to be invited, someone kindly let me in on all the unspoken rules. Bring something very nice, don't steal from the boss, assume we're going dutch until the boss offers to get the check at the end, ooh and ahh over the boss's generosity when she does offer to get the check, ooh and ahh over the mega gift we give the boss ($25 x 30 people = mega gift!) etc. Sheesh.

I wish we just wished each other Merry Christmas and left it at that. I'm not good with the corporate politics stuff. I think Christmas should be celebrated with your family and your church.

Laurie

 

[SC Minnie]

No. We draw names on DH's side for everyone over 18. We don't buy gifts for the kids-- there are a lot of them and they are spread all over the country.

In my family we only buy gifts for the kids ( there are only 3 and they live nearby). I will buy something for my parents but not my brother. We haven't exchanged gifts in over 15 years. We both work and make good money so we buy whatever we want/need. I do buy gifts for his 3 kids.

We don't exchange gifts at work among co-workers. I have 2 friends here that I have lunch with and do things outside of the office and they are the only ones I exchange with and that is because I want to.

 

[Gwene65]

I have a 9yo neice who is the most unresponsible person ever! If she borrows a dvd or a cd, it never gets returned. She loses everything and what little she does have left is in terrible condition. I do not want to buy her anything for Christmas this year based on those reasons. But I plan on buying somehting for her brother who is the exact opposite of her. So, I think I basically have to.

What I plan on buying her though-has not been decided yet.

Oh and my MIL. I bought her a nice bath set last year and she never even opened it. So needless to say I don't want to buy her another gift. Plus the fact that I don't care for her much.

 

[SeeDisney]

I would really like to this year.


But the past years, usually NO. I always feel bad when a friend gives me something.

Boo and shame on me.

 

[jody]

We've tried to get my SIL to agree to no gift giving among the adult siblings. DH's mom and dad would get a gift and the kids 18 and under would get a gift. She won't agree to it though. She buys us something anyway and then we feel bad so we continue to buy her a gift. Oh yeah, and her birthday happens to be on Christmas so we buy her a birthday gift too.

 

[laurie31]

I have a 9yo neice who is the most unresponsible person ever! If she borrows a dvd or a cd, it never gets returned. She loses everything and what little she does have left is in terrible condition.

My dd is 9 and I can't help but think some of this is due to parenting. She can be sloppy and she sometimes loses library books (but I find them, return them, and lecture her about being responsible with things that don't belong to you. We now have a designated place for library books). I can't imagine her borrowing a DVD from someone and me not helping her keep up with it and make sure she returned it.

Apparently your nephew has natural organization skills. Or perhaps he's older. Some kids need more help that others with things like this. Kids do have to be taught how to take care of their things. It sure doesn't come naturally to mine!

Laurie

 

[Disney Doll]

I have in the past, but I ma trying to get around that by telling people who I don't really want to buy a gift for that instead of getting more "stuff" thake the $$ they were going to spend on my gift & donate it to a worthy cause, and I will do the same for them.

 

[epcotfan]

My immediate family doesn't give or receive gifts anymore. Although we send cards but that is it. No one really knows what to buy the other person and half my family is spread all over the world. Years ago we all exchanged gifts but it just got ridiculous. I hate the fact that people feel pressured to give gifts especially when they can't afford it.

 

[scrump]

We only exchange gifts with immediate family, and we've even decided to not give to DH's siblings this year, only because we usually jsut gave gift cards anyway. We figured, what was the point of sitting around and giving each other money? We will still exchange gifts with DH's parents and my parents, and I am happy to do that.

 

[Stitchfans]

I buy gifts for DHs family so when he goes to see them for the holidays he and DD11 aren't going empty handed. I buy them for DH and DDs sake not theirs.