Do you believe in loving your enemies?

[NY Disney fan]

Despite getting a great performance review at work 2 months ago, I have a new manager who bullies me and has requested that I be fired. I have already reported his bullying tactics to HR (with examples of sabotage) but while I am searching for a new job, he continues to bully and turn my other manager against me. I have always believed in loving my enemies but now I am getting a real course in it. Can you wish good things for someone even while they are trying to destroy you?

The second lesson I have learned is: don't try to change somoene. If they abuse you, run!

 

[luvmy3]

While I don't wish anything too horrible on my enemies, I certainly don't waste my time wishing good things for them. They are enemies for a reason, I wouldn't feel the need to make them anything different.

 

[shellybaxter]

I have a friend who always wishes mean people would win the lotto and go somewhere else - LOL. They say that it is not wishing them ill, just hoping something better will "take them away". But seriously, I try and be nice to even the nastiest of people, sometimes it even seems to affect them in a postive way

 

[The Mystery Machine]

No, that is illogical to me.

 

[NY Disney fan]

No, that is illogical to me.

why? I'm curious b/c I like your posts.

 

[wdwmom2]

Kill'um with kindness

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Active enemies, no?

I had someone I was training once--dumb as a brick. I feel she thought I was sabotaging her and in the end I was the one that was disciplined for her ineptitude.

All I can say is document, document, document. Eventually--the shortcomings of the village idiot does eventually catch up with them.

My village idiot ended up getting fired for it. Documentation and HR are great tools when all else fails and the rest of the staff is blind to the inept and lacking work ethic of said employee.

 

[OceanAnnie]

No, that is illogical to me.

I agree.

Your emotions would be in conflict with your reality. I wouldn't waste time thinking about the person. I'd focus on what you can do to change your course with this person.

I'm sorry for what you are going through. You could love for him to be in another department.

 

[Northstar]

I believe in loving my enemies but I can't actually do it.

The best I can do is to avoid wishing bad things to happen to them. Because if I spend time fantasizing about bad things happening to them, I just might start taking action to make those bad things occur!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

why? I'm curious b/c I like your posts.

I don't have unconditional love for everyone, so I have to face my reality.

Now I am very understanding and tolerant of certain people, situations, etc...but I don't have to love them. Why put that kind of pressure on yourself?

 

[AlleyKat]

I don't have unconditional love for everyone, so I have to face my reality.

Now I am very understanding and tolerant of certain people, situations, etc...but I don't have to love them. Why put that kind of pressure on yourself?

Excellent, short and to the point!

 

[auntie]

Interesting.

I generally think, what goes around...comes around. Only as of late, I have to admit, I'm really wondering about that. Taking the "high road"...well, it's getting tougher to travel. Where do you draw the line? How many times can you get crapped on (so to speak)..and not retaliate. Does it mean you are loving your enemies..or just being an idiot.
I don't like thinking of people (let alone a relative, in my case) as enemies. Yet at the same time, something is screaming in me...WAKE UP AND SMELL THE COFFEE!

 

[eliza61]

Actually, I try to avoid them. I try very hard to not waste energy on combating whatever negativity that comes along with them.
I know in your situation it is hard to do becasue this person is working with you.

I also try to focus on my behaviour instead of what they are doing to me.

Heck, some times it's hard enough to "love" your love ones when they do stuff that hurts you. No need to try and live up to an even harder standard.

 

[disykat]

I do believe in loving my enemies. That doesn't mean I have to like them!

I will wish them well. However, "well" involves making better choices than bullying employees etc. In wishing them well, I am also trying to improve my own situation.

 

[Rainwater]

Despite getting a great performance review at work 2 months ago, I have a new manager who bullies me and has requested that I be fired. I have already reported his bullying tactics to HR (with examples of sabotage) but while I am searching for a new job, he continues to bully and turn my other manager against me. I have always believed in loving my enemies but now I am getting a real course in it. Can you wish good things for someone even while they are trying to destroy you?

The second lesson I have learned is: don't try to change somoene. If they abuse you, run!

A enemy will always be your enemy until you show some strength and refuse to back down from this bully. Show some grit, and quite taking his attacks. Until your willing to stand up to him, this will continue. You can't reason with a bully, but you can defeat your enemy.

 

[cybrkitn]

Yes, I do and have had to at an old job with a co-worker. It was tough to do, but I did and felt much better after it was all over. Needless to say, she left on her own for another job. When she did, the office was split. Some were happy she was leaving while others were not so happy.