I am so horry that this happening to you. People don't think when they open their mouths. Soemtimes they are trying to relate, but they end up making it worse. When I was diagnosed with diabetes I heard a lot of "my random relative had diabetes and went blind, lost a leg, died, etc." Really, how was that supposed to be make me feel?
Please do not dwell overly long on that woman's comment. She obviously has a bad case of foot in mouth disease. We are here for you, if you need to laugh, cry, vent, whatever. Please do not beat yourself up for your feelings. There is no right or wrong way to grieve a loss.