Do people "flip out" when they learn how long you've been married?

flaps

<font color=blue>He became "the one" when I said m
Joined
Jun 28, 2002
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I'm aware that there is a high divorce rate.

Still, every now again when someone asks me or my spouse how long we've been married (as of today, just under 15 years), we get an incredulous response along the lines of, "You're kidding, right?" In other words, "I didn't think people stayed married that long nowadays!" In fact, got this very reaction yet again just last week.

I'm reminded of a time 'bout 12 or so years ago when I was working as a waitress. One evening I had the opportunity to wait on a man and woman who were celebrating their golden wedding anniversary. I made mention of this to some co-workers, and commented that I hoped to live to see 50 years (or more) with my husband. One cynical cook insisted that everyone gets divorced, and that my spouse and I would too. Indeed, he refused to give us more than 5 years max. He was so adament about our inevitable, impending divorce that unless he's changed, I think if I bumped into him tomorrow I would still be unable to convince him I'd made it past his doomsday 5-year prediction.

But anyway...


Every two weeks I get word of certain news regarding some people I "grew up" with, including any recent wedding anniversaries. It is not uncommon for me to note couples I've known (or known of) who have reached 25, 30, 35, 40, 45 and even 50 years of marriage. :)

Got my most recent update from "home" the other day, and four couples were listed. Alas, not a one was celebrating the usual 25 to 50 years. :confused:


Maybe not so many are "goin' for the gold" anymore? :(


Nah. They'd already flown by that one a few years earlier. They're now fast-trackin' it to diamonds with a best friend. The numbers of years married ranged from 54 to 57. :cool:

Man, I dunno 'bout you, but I just love that kinda news! Talk about encouragement! :)

Packrat though I am, I don't think I saved the announcement. Maybe I should have. A ray of sunshine for a darker day. Too, it might have come in handy as a fan the next time someone near-faints when we mention the few years we've been granted thus far. ;)






*Note to all who have been married 25 years or more: Thank You. It is noticed and matters more to those around you - even those you may not really know - than perhaps you realize.

**Note to anyone who - for whatever reason - feels displeasure or hurt or anything "negative" as a result of my post: I'm sorry. That was not my intention.
 
That does happen to me, but not because they are surprised the marriage has lasted so long (it will be 21 years next month), it is because they are surprised I am old enough to have been married that long. I got married young (at age 21).
 
DH and I have been married 20 years this last March. It especially
shocks people because we were married 'young' also as we are only 42 and 44. On our 20 th anniversary trip we told everyone and DH even joked about going for the record- 23 or 24 years.
Sometimes I feel like an endangered species.
 
Same as pw2pp here, i was 21 when I got married, it's been five years now, people are surprised when I tell them it's been that long. Most people in my age group don't get married so young, I guess.
 

DH and I have been married 29 years. We get a lot of WOWs from people. Also some how sis you do it.
 
I also get a shocked response both because we have been married for 15 years and because I don't look old enough - I was 19.

I get the same response when I say that I have an almost 15 year old son. I was 20 when I had him.
 
DH and I will celebrate 15 years in July. We married for life. I think it's really sad that people put so little value in marriage these days.

I was 21 and DH was 23 when we got married and we had our first DS one year later. :p Neither of us even gave a thought to being "too young".

Congrats to everyone celebrating.... whether it's one year or 50!!
 
/
CJMickey - My "little" brother and his wife just celebrated their first year May 24. :)


Originally posted by AMClvsMKY
I was 19.

Me too. Spouse was 20. No kids at this time. I'd chalk it up to the age-thing, except that frequently the subsequent comments allude or outright state that anything over 10 years is a long marriage. :confused3
 
We have been married for 29 years also. I married at age 19 which was much too young...but I would do it all again in a heartbeat!
 
Wow. I'm amazed at how many of us got married at a young age. DH and myself were both 19 and had to take special classes with our priest before being allowed to marry in church. We just celebrated our 20th anniversary and I know many that attended our wedding are shocked that we stayed together. DH was always accused of robbing the cradle because of his gray hair at such a young age. I'm actually a month older than him though. We have 3 children, ages 18, 14 and 8.

Congrats to all the happily married dis'ers out there.
 
As minnie56 mentioned, I also was 19 when we married. DH was three years older and July 8th will be our 31st anniversary. I've had cynics say that we are married this long because DH was in the Navy for 20+ years and we spent so much time apart. What kind of rationale is that???

Lois
 
Mark and I got married when I was 20 and he 23. This November it will be 30 years. Funny those people that know us are not surprised. Strangers are surprised because we are young looking.

Honestly, it's not that hard. We really love each other but we are also best friends. My children see parents of their friends and tell us, that no family is like ours. I guess we were lucky to find each other.

Don't get me wrong. we've had our moments -all couples do but somehow, it was more important to work it out than to stay mad or leave.

I can't wait to see him every night and he still makes my tummy tingle when he kisses me. I can't see me with anyone else - ever.

denise
 
Hubby and I have been married 33 years. I was 20 and he was 22 when we wed. If I had it to do over, YES, I would do it again. I really do believe in Love at First Sight and for us it was true. I cannot imagine my life without him. And our only child is a very young 31.
 
Congrats, all. :)



Originally posted by wdw4us
Funny those people that know us are not surprised. Strangers are surprised because we are young looking.

I guess I should have noted that it's been strangers or co-workers who have expressed disbelief, not people who have known us.
 
Yes, because we have been married less than a year. My first marriage lasted 30 years, but this is the one that is for keeps ;)
 
Count me in as one of the younger couples when we got married. I was 19 and he was 22(smile). We are celebrating our 30th wedding anniversary this November at WDW. People do act surprised and once in a while even somewhat defensive when they volunteer (I would never, ever ask!) that this is their second marriage.

And my Mom was a very smart woman, as she told me that if we raised our kids right, they would grow up and leave us. But if we didn't take care of our marriage during the raising part(smile), we wouldn't have one when the kids were grown and gone. And while I never thought I would enjoy our empty nest as much as I do, it has been a wonderful time of reconnecting in so many ways and a great deal more fun than the early days in our marriage before we had kids. Maturity, kindness and a willingness not to assume that the other person is behaving the way they are to intentionally hurt the other one. Add in a firm belief that things don't ever have to be exactly "fair" because they will even out over time.
 
Funny you should ask!! Just last night, at work, one of the cooks was talking about people not being married for a long time nowdays, then he turned to me and asked how long I've been married. It will be 29 years in September. He could hardly believe it!! DH and I were both 18 when we got married. We had a rather short "courtship" (met in March, engaged in May) and a lot of people said it wouldn't last. We've proved them wrong, very wrong. :teeth:
 
:)

faithinkarma - Best wishes for you and your spouse.

Figaro - Wise mom. ::yes::
 
I have been married for 30 years, 31 come October. Very much in love with DH and would marry him all over again!
 
I was also married at 19 (DH was 19 also), and still goin strong after 18 years...glad I have so much company!!! Yes, people are shocked by it...probably no more than DH and I...doesn't seem that long ago when it all started, LOL!!!!

And my Mom was a very smart woman, as she told me that if we raised our kids right, they would grow up and leave us. But if we didn't take care of our marriage during the raising part(smile), we wouldn't have one when the kids were grown and gone. And while I never thought I would enjoy our empty nest as much as I do, it has been a wonderful time of reconnecting in so many ways and a great deal more fun than the early days in our marriage before we had kids. Maturity, kindness and a willingness not to assume that the other person is behaving the way they are to intentionally hurt the other one. Add in a firm belief that things don't ever have to be exactly "fair" because they will even out over time.
Well said,and so true!!!!
 














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