Do People Call you Sweetie?

[Gillian]

"I prefer you not to call me sweetie Thank You"

That's very polite and straightforward. I'm going to remember it for my travels.

 

[Annam26]

I can honestly say that it doesn't happen to me too often -I use a wheelchair.

I'm starting to get ma'am which I don't like....what, don't I look like a teen-ager anymore

I think it normally wouldn't bother me, but in the situation like the one you described in the restaurant -with everyone being addressed diferently than me, and the pat in the back (ugh!) it would make me furious. But I think it would be better just to tell the waitress to stop it.

 

[fostrmom2mny]

<<I agree with you, my Mom calls people sweetie all the time, it's not meant to be mean or condescending it's just a way of being welcoming and nice. Maybe it is a southern thing >>

I use sweetie probably a lot more than I should after reading some of the posts. I consider myself a Southern girl, and I do not use sweetie over and over, nor in a condescending way. It just happens to be part of my nature. I never considered that it could be seen as disrespectful, or inappropriate.

 

[aubriee]

I agree that in alot of cases it may be a regional thing. At most of the restaraunts and retail stores around here I've been called sweetie and never thought a thing about it. In fact I am a nurse and after thinking about it I use the term alot also. If I'm not calling them sweetie then I'm calling them Miss_______(whatever their first name is). It's just a southern thing maybe? I've never thought about it. By the way, I am not handicapped, but have never minded someone being nice and calling me sweetie.

On the other hand if I was the only one at the table being called sweetie then it might stick out more.

 

[LindsayDunn228]

I use sweetie probably a lot more than I should after reading some of the posts. I consider myself a Southern girl, and I do not use sweetie over and over, nor in a condescending way. It just happens to be part of my nature. I never considered that it could be seen as disrespectful, or inappropriate.

I am VERY Southern myself, and use sweetie, darlin', honey, etc. more than the average bear in conversation, but what we are talking about is completely different.

When the rest of your party is getting sir and ma'am and you get the sappy sweetie, it's totally different. And like I mentioned in another post, when someone talks to you like a child and calls you sweetie, it's different. VERY different when people with you have not gotten this treatment.

See what I mean?

You know what's odd? I get a lot less of the "baby talk" since I got married. I guess my wedding rings prove my mind is not "child-like." I don't get it, but if that's what's decreased the comments, I'll take it!

 

[SueM in MN]

"I prefer you not to call me sweetie Thank You"

I've been called sweetie ('honey'or 'darlin' sometimes too) and I am not disabled. Youngest DD, who is disabled, is not called any of those names any more often than I am (at least not when I'm with her.
She is sometimes talked down to (that baby-talk thing). When that happens, I directly tell people "She can't talk to you, but she understands everything you say to her, so please talk to her that way." That is clear and to the point and we have not had any further problems after saying that.

I don't see anything wrong with saying "I prefer you not to call me sweetie Thank You" and IMHO, that would be much less disruptive to the meal (and more likely to make the point) than switching seats and leaving notes on the bill. I would be willing to bet the server in the example probably did not get the point of the note and still had no idea what she had done wrong.

 

[helenk]

Hopefully this was not due to the fact that you are disabled. I was not there so I certainly can not put in my 2 cents about the incident itself.
However, I am not disabled and I find that waitresses really do seem to over do the sweetie and hon thing. And I have been in restaurants where they like to sit next to you to take your order etc.
My husband carries very little cash and I usually have the credit card, so when we go out to eat I am the one that pays. Almost all of the time the waitress gives the bill to my husband (I think most people have a tendency to think that the man should pay) My husband loves to tell the waitress to give the bill to me because "he is a kept man".