Do parents pay for their child's graduate school?

[Aisling]

My son is entering his senior year in college. He had a scholarship which paid for half of his college education, and me and DH paid the rest. He lives at home, has a job, pays his own car expenses, etc. He has a 3.5 GPA.

He wants to go on with his education, for a Masters/Phd in political science, or law school.

I started looking at law school tuition, and I thought holy smoke, this is going to be expensive, I mean too expensive to come out of my pocket. We're talking $50,000 a year.

As parents, do we pay for his post-grad studies? He hasn't asked, and we really haven't begun the serious discussion yet, but we'll have to do it soon. Does he take out loans (he's debt-free at this point), work a full-time job (which I doubt will make a dent in his tuition), or what? I have a cruise booked for Christmas 2007, which is going to cost over $10,000, and I thought OMG I have to cancel this cruise because I'll need this money for DSs continued ed. (He's also booked to go on the cruise.)

None of his friends are going on to grad school, so I get no inspiration from there.

Any advice?

 

[LindaR]

DD17 and I have had this very discussion. I told her that I would foot the bill for her college education but she would be responsible for loans for medical school. I said that she would have a decent income and that if she were responsible for the loans, she would set her priorities and feel a sense of accomplishment when she was done paying them.

 

[lovingthemouse]

One of dds was able to get her 5th yr tuition free at Lehigh
University by keeping a high GPA. Tell your son to look into Presidential Scholarships or Graduate Assistantships for tuition, he has a wonderful GPA and might just qualify.
Our 2 dds who did go onto Grad school footed their own expenses - wish I had the money to help but we have 5 kids, and that was not in the cards. We truly feel that we gave them excellent foundations for learning and what they chose to do beyond that was their choice and money.

 

[RadioNate]

Here's my opinion FWIW. If you can afford to help help, if you can't afford it, don't help. I think starting out a career $150k in debt is horrible. Yes lawyers make good money but starting lawyers don't make THAT good money.

Will he still be living at home? What if you continue the same level of support and he foots the rest?

I don't think it is an all-or-nothing deal.

I certainly wouldn't cancel your cruise over it.

We lived with the burden of student loans for 10 years and I don't wish that on anyone.

 

[tnkbl]

My paretns aren't paying for mine. Of course I am 37, but I don't think they would ave paid if I went right after getting my BS. My parents did pay for my college and it took me 6 years to get my degree, let's just say I had a very good time!

 

[Cool-Beans]

If I could, I would. If I couldn't, I wouldn't lose sleep over it. The kid would have to decide if they thought the extra years would be worth it to them. If they felt they'd be raking it in and could pay it off, go for it. If they didn't think that it'd be worth it, time to get a j-o-b.

Good luck with your decision...it IS a tough one!

 

[Syrreal]

My parents offered to help pay for grad school, same with DH's parents. However, as neither DH nor I went to law school or med school, we are doing graduate studies in arts and sciences, we did not have to get help on tuition b/c we were given teaching and research assistantships by the school. Depending on what he studies he may be eligible for one as well. These will normally pay for all tuition and give a stipend (anywhere from 8-17K depending on the school). It is by no means a "living" especially if you don't live in campus but it helps. Most everyone I know have some kind of part time job to help paying bills (even the ones that live on campus). DH and I are lucky b/c we had 2 stipends but they were on the very low end of the spectrum.

 

[sue1013]

Both my kids knew we would pay for 4 years of college. If they decided to go on it was up to them to pay for it. DD decided to go back after working for a couple years decided she wanted to do something else. We let her stay at home for free but it was up to her to pay her tuition. She paid some and took out some loans which were paid back by the time she was 30. If we had the extra sitting around it would have been different but we would have had to take from our retirement savings and we didn't want to do that.

 

[monarchsfan16]

My mom says she's done helping me after 4 years of undergrad, because she simply can't. Actually she may not be able to help with the 4th year of undergrad because that's when my sister will start school
However
My dad says that parents are responsible for the whole education. He and mom are divorced. So since he seems like he's willing to pay for half (he wants mom to pay the other half), I'm hoping he'll split the cost with me. I'd have some debt, but not an unreasonable amount. Probably still less than most people leave undergrad with. The masters degree that I'll be going for appears to only be a 2 year program. And it's mainly offered at state schools. So I do have a lot going for me there. Unfortunately I will be required to have a masters for certification so I can't work for awhile between undergrad and grad (at least not in anything related to the field I'm going into) to save up.

 

[EthansMom]

Many advanced degrees offer work-study or teaching assistance-programs to students with good grades from their bachelor's degree. DH was able to pay for the entirety of his Master's Degree with work-study.

Our kids are still very young, but we're putting away money for college. We'll help our kids out as much as possible with their bachelor's degrees and if there is anything left over in their college savings accounts, they could use that money towards graduate degrees.

IMO, you should let DS know what you are willing/can afford to help with as far as any expenses go. If he is able to live at home while completing his graduate programs, that alone, is quite a help. I don't think it would be unreasonable to say, "I'm happy that you're interested in getting an advanced degree, but I want to let you know that you can only count on having Mom and Dad contribute $X/year."

 

[Aisling]

Will he still be living at home? What if you continue the same level of support and he foots the rest?

We live in NYC, with so many colleges, so he likely won't be living on his own until he's done and has a career-type job.

About continuing the same level of support, that's what's so hard about this, because then his education will become his own burden, and a heavy one. If DH and I take it on, there will be no vacations, no extras, until he's done with his education. But I also have a 14 year old beginning high school, so it'll begin again.

Work-study, that would be fantastic, maybe getting school credit as well as a salary. I'm looking at all the possibilities.

 

[Saphire]

You will find all kind of answers to this question, just as you will find students who pay 100% of undergrad to parents who foot the whole bill. My oldest DS is in Medical School and completely responsible for himself financially. If we had it, we would help him, but we have loans from his undergrad schooling, another son in college and another coming up. There are various scenarios in his class, many like him, others whose parents are paying 100%, and those in between. It is such a personal decision and one that can only be decided on within your family. Best wishes.

 

[CEDmom]

DH and I would help but there's no way we could pay it all without sacrificing our retirement and that's not going to help anyone in the long run.

 

[Aimeedyan]

I paid for my own graduate work, as all graduate students I went to school with. They occasionally got a check in the mail from their parents to help with bills but we were all pretty poor and all of us have student loans now to pay back.

My dad had every intention on paying for our undergrad degrees and we were on our own for anything more. A bad turn of events didn't allow him to do that fully but that was the plan. That is what DH and I are aiming for with our (future) children.

 

[HappyLawyer]

my parents did not, even though my daddy is loaded and could afford to. Oh, well i'll just have to wait for the trust fund to kick in

but on a serious note, i will encourage my dtr to find a job that will pay or help pay for her masters but if not i will pay for her

 

[Tigger&Belle]

We are helping our kids pay for their undergrad degrees. We can't afford to totally pay for everything, but will be paying for most everything. However, our DD might finish early since she came into college almost as a sophomore (took some college classes and some AP classes) and if she finishes early, but may help if she go directly to grad school, as is the current plan. At the very least, she may live at home during that time, so she wouldn't have room and board expenses.

One of our sons is a very good student and is very athletic. If he were to get a scholarship to pay a large portion of the undergrad expenses, we would be more likely to fund grad school, or a portion of it, depending on the cost.

But in general, no we won't be paying for grad school. We had nice school loans when my DH went to grad school.

 

[Wonders10]

My mom is a single parent who scrimped and saved so that I could go to a great private school for my bachelor's degree. Even with her help, I had work study, some scholarships, and about $25K in loans when I graduated a few years ago. Currently I'm in grad school and I'm paying for all of it, mostly through loans (again private school, ugh). But I'm also living at home rent free until I graduate so I suppose she is helping me out, but I think that once you hit that level you should start to figure out your finances yourself.

 

[momrek06]

I will say when DS left for college, we never even discussed payment for future years of schooling after his bachelors. I will say as it got closer to his graduation and wanting to go on he asked what would we all do! Both this DS and DS #2 have received fabulous scholarships for undergrad and they did very well. (#2 will be a Junior)!

DH & I told DS that we would pay for every grad course B+ or matter. Well he jumped at that and he is 1/2 way through a Masters in European History with a 3.67...guess he lucked out as he is paying nothing so far.

 

[Wonders10]

I will say when DS left for college, we never even discussed payment for future years of schooling after his bachelors. I will say as it got closer to his graduation and wanting to go on he asked what would we all do! Both this DS and DS #2 have received fabulous scholarships for undergrad and they did very well. (#2 will be a Junior)!

DH & I told DS that we would pay for every grad course B+ or matter. Well he jumped at that and he is 1/2 way through a Masters in European History with a 3.67...guess he lucked out as he is paying nothing so far.

If you were my parents, you'd be paying for every course I took seeing as how I have to get a B or better to pass the course. Get below a B once, repeat the course, get another below B grade in any other course, you're out of the program! Hope your son's program doesn't have this policy and is just pulling your leg...totally jk. But not the part about the B or better to pass for me.

 

[KarenAylwood]

My parents paid for my undergraduate education and I was told ahead of time that if I wanted to go on with post graduate work, I would be financially reponsible.

It just so happened that I picked a field of study where tuition is totally covered and I was given a stipend to live on. If I needed help from my parents at some point, they would help me out, but I was essentially on my own after I graduated from undergrad.

Every single person I know who has gone on after undergrad has been held financially responsible no matter how much money their parents make. Of my closest friends, 3 are in med school, 3 are in law school and 4 are in grad school. They are all taking out loans to cover their own education.