Do *Parents* No Longer Have Any Discipline?

[CJMickeyMouse]

Originally posted by ripleysmom


For example, my mother died in October after being extremely ill all year. I tried to spend a lot of time with her last year and probably went to see her every 6 weeks or so.

During that time my husband was responsible for getting the kids ready for school and out the door. Now my husband is not nearly as good with getting the children ready as I am and it is possible that they could have been late as a result.

Should he be criticized for not being able to get the children to school on time? Nope I don't think so.....

No, and I am sure the office was probably aware of the situation and could understand the problem.

 

[gymnasticsmom68]

Originally posted by CJMickeyMouse
I hope you grow up soon. Like maybe immediately?

No issues here, I don't have delusions of grandeur like others here.

 

[gymnasticsmom68]

I am always amazed at the kids that are late to school and do think that part of life is teaching our kids to be on time.

I, personally, cannot get my kid to soccer practice on time.

Isn't this speaking out of both sides of your mouth? You are amazed that kids aren't taught to be on time, but you can't seem to get your child to soccer practice on time???? Huh?? I'll bet the soccer coach minds just as much as the teacher.

 

[disykat]

All the judgemental posts here astound me - and I'm not talking about the original poster! Christine made an observation - she was surprised to see several "we overslept" excuses for tardiness. Evidently the majority of people here find that acceptable, but Christine didn't. What is the big deal?

Personally I find it much more upsetting that several kids in one day are tardy to a school that starts at 9:30 am due to oversleeping, than the fact that a parent noticed and found it alarming.

 

[IloveDMB]

Not being a parent, I really can't comment on the responsibilities, but I can comment as someone who was late to school sometimes.

Sometimes things come up, and it is hard to get to school sometimes. I was late sometimes, and I don't think my mom was irresponsible. Nor did she make me irresponsible. I know have a job, and I am always on time. I have been late because of very, very bad traffic, but I am not habitually late. Summer traffic can get crazy around here.

I'm sorry, but I just think it's kind of "holier than thou" to comment on children being late without knowing the specific situation. As another poster stated, you know what they say when you assume something.

 

[ripleysmom]

"No, and I am sure the office was probably aware of the situation and could understand the problem."

The whole point of the post though is that the school may have known about the problem but the nosy judgemental person who was reading the Sign-In book would only see that the kids were late a few times in the last few days, not the circumstances behind it.

 

[janette]

Originally posted by Christine
Student number 3 was late because "we couldn't get up on time."

My 9yo was late to school last week for this reason, it was what she would have said. The story behind it is that her grandfather was critically ill, we've been at the hospital every night for more than a week. Sometimes very late at night, at some points last week we weren't sure he was going to make it to the next day. The night before I'd sat up with my girls and explained that their grandpa was probably going to die. I still got them up and to school the next day, my youngest was late but the older one starts school later so she was on time.

Thankfully her grandfather has improved some but we are taking it one day at a time.

Sometimes it's best not to be to quick to judge.

 

[CJMickeyMouse]

Originally posted by ripleysmom

The whole point of the post though is that the school may have known about the problem but the nosy judgemental person who was reading the Sign-In book would only see that the kids were late a few times in the last few days, not the circumstances behind it.

I see your point.

I just have been "on the other side" with kids that are constantly late and parents who are perfectly capable of getting them places on time, and just don't do it. It's frustrating, and really, really sad.

 

[disykat]

I'm getting fuming mad reading this. The OP made no personal attacks. I see people on here, even many who don't normally act this way, making HUGE personal attacks. If you disagree, you should be able to do it with out all the flames.

 

[gymnasticsmom68]

I'm getting fuming mad reading this. The OP made no personal attacks. I see people on here, even many who don't normally act this way, making HUGE personal attacks. If you disagree, you should be able to do it with out all the flames.

You're the one getting fuming mad.

 

[kilee]

I have to say-- I don't really see anyone getting out of control mad. I think that if you are going to make a firm judgemental opinion on an open, public forum--- then you better be able to take the heat. If you can't then don't post it.

 

[soccerchick]

Yes, being on time is important and kids do need to respect and udnerstand what this entails. I am very lucky in that I can't remember ever bring late to work,but I have a short commute and I get to work before I am required to be there, so I have some built in cushioning for those mornings when the baby pukes his bottle all over himself and/or me and I get to change one or both of us again.

However, I don't think anyone can make fair observations based on one day/one tardy list. A neighbor of mine, at times, is heavily medicated for a variety of serious health issues. There are mornings when her son does not meet our other neighbor to walk to school so his mom calls and wakes them up. Poor parenting? I don't know; all I know is that I hope I am never in that situation.

I also know that sometimes people have very private and embarrassing reasons for being late. Wouldn't you write "Overslept" instead of "got into a screaming match with my spouse/mother/ father"...

 

[sha_lyn]

Wouldn't you write "Overslept" instead of "got into a screaming match with my spouse/mother/ father"...

Yep, or given it as a reason instead of "started my period on the way to school and had to go home to change clothes and get a pad".

Once the bus didn't show and we thought I had missed it so my grandfather took me to school. Turns out the bus had problems and didn't make it to the school before we did. Well I got a tardy since I wasn't on the bus. Everyone on the bus did not get a tardy.

 

[Karel]

Originally posted by gymnasticsmom68
Isn't this speaking out of both sides of your mouth? You are amazed that kids aren't taught to be on time, but you can't seem to get your child to soccer practice on time???? Huh?? I'll bet the soccer coach minds just as much as the teacher.

I was just pointing out that we all have priorities and what bothers some, may not bother others. Getting to school on time is a big deal for me, sports practice is not. We have never overslept for school and my kids know exactly what time they should be walking out the door.

We have never overslept for soccer practice but it is tough in the afternoon juggling work schedule, homework and the activities of three kids plus my own volunteer work. Sometimes being on time for soccer conflicts with everyday life.

 

[gymnasticsmom68]

That may be true, but it's a job to the soccer coach and I'm sure you would expect him to be on time. Just because soccer practice isn't high on your priority list doesn't mean it isn't for others. Don't you think if your child strolls into soccer practice 20 minutes late that takes away from the other kids? Then the coach has to do exactly what people are saying the teacher has to do, stop teaching all the other kids and go over what they've learned already with the child who arrives late.

I don't think you can it both ways, you can't claim to be 'amazed' that children aren't taught to be on time, and then get little Johnny or Janie to soccer practice late because it's interfering with YOUR life. Somehow I doubt the coach came to your home and asked your child to be on the team. Eventually his being late all the time will have consequences just like it would be in school. You may find your child riding the bench an awful lot if you can't get him there when he's supposed to be there.

 

[charabby]

I skimmed through this thread, b/c, I admit it, *I am a late person* - you know, that relative/friend you tell to arrive 30 min. early so she might actually be on time. I have improved the last few years, but I am late more often than many of you here.

It means that sometimes my kids are late to school. We rarely, if ever, have a *good* reason - it's usually b/c I woke the kids up too late.

Obviously, in the area of puntucality, I *am* irresponsible. I have to say though, that doesn't make me a bad parent. I am getting that vibe from some people on this thread - especially from those whose standard is that kids should NEVER be late. So here's my question:

Does a person have to be perfect to be a good parent?

I ask this, b/c one of my many flaws happens to be chronic lateness. Does that actually make me a bad parent despite the fact that I am responsible in virtually all other areas (OK, I tend to lose things too - it's related to the scattered thinking that also causes me to be late) with the kids?

Rambling b/c I'm tired, but I wanted to post b/c this whole thread really bugs me due to the judgmental attitude of some of the punctual parents.

 

[gymnasticsmom68]

Can you imagine what you have to do in life for your child to NEVER be late? Can you imagine how perfect your life would have to be for you to NEVER be late. I don't, for one minute, believe people when they say NEVER. They've never stayed up late with a sick child and overslept? They've never been driving to school and realize they've forgotten something? Or forgot to put gas in the car the night before so they have to stop? They've never gotten stuck behind an accident? Or a million other 'they've never?

People like to make other believe they are perfect, it makes them feel special.

 

[CJMickeyMouse]

Originally posted by gymnasticsmom68


People like to make other believe they are perfect, it makes them feel special.

Since you are referring to me, obviously.... I will respond. I am not perfect, far from it. Not even special. But I am on time. All the time. Usually early. NEVER late. Sorry that bothers you, but you have no right to call me a liar.

 

[CJMickeyMouse]

Originally posted by charabby


Does a person have to be perfect to be a good parent?

If this was the case, there would be no good parents!!!

No you don't have to be perfect. Lateness happens to be one of my pet peeves.... so I make sure I/we are never late. I guess it's just a difference in priorities.

 

[HauntedMansionGeek]

Originally posted by gymnasticsmom68
No issues here, I don't have delusions of grandeur like others here.

No. No issues besides being sarcastic and rude. Sheesh...........


p.s. my grand daughter splits her week between 3 homes and mine is the farthest one from her school (8 miles: 15 minute drive). She's in second grade now and hasn't been tardy once.....and as mixed up as her little schedule can be, she won't be tardy. It can be done.

Oh and my husband has NEVER been late to work in 28 years (AND he's only missed 1 day to illness in all that time.)

For us, we build time into our schedule so instead of being on time, we usually end up a little bit early. And I think too that it IS what a person considers a priority, because personally, one of my priorities is eliminating stress in our lives and being late would stress me out BIGTIME!!!