Do I need their Dads signature?

[chik1987]

This is just anecdotal, but I didn't get any questions about DD or her dad at all when the two of us did a Disney cruise.

In my case, my ex would probably have been glad to write a letter, but getting him to go out of his way to get it notarized would have been unlikely.

Yea my ex would not write a letter just to spite me because hes a jerk lol.

 

[FigmentSpark]

I would think customs is where you'd have a problem if there were any problem at all. I know even when we travel with our kids, the customs agent will ask them who we are. If either decided to say that we weren't their parents, we'd be in big trouble. People have run with kids, so the risk is real. I wonder if the court could give you permission in lieu of your absentee ex? Your lawyer would know that. A legal doc saying you are allowed to travel with the kids would probably be all you need.

 

[summerrluvv]

Yea my ex would not write a letter just to spite me because hes a jerk lol.

You won't need a letter. You aren't an aunt/uncle running off with the kids. You will be visiting customs on your way back INTO the US, where you live, so customs isn't going to question where their dad is. I seriously wouldn't worry about it for one more second, despite what people may tell you on the internet

 

[chik1987]

I would think customs is where you'd have a problem if there were any problem at all. I know even when we travel with our kids, the customs agent will ask them who we are. If either decided to say that we weren't their parents, we'd be in big trouble. People have run with kids, so the risk is real. I wonder if the court could give you permission in lieu of your absentee ex? Your lawyer would know that. A legal doc saying you are allowed to travel with the kids would probably be all you need.

Yea our attorney said most likely they wouldn't give me an order just blankly saying I could travel whenever I wanted. He said our best bet is to leave things alone for now and go for a step parent adoption later down the road. The kids will be 10 and 12 when we travel this first time and it would likely be another couple of years before we travel anywhere something like that would be needed. At that age the kids can confirm that their dad is out of the picture that I am their mom and that the guy with us is their step dad and that we haven't made any arrangements to not go back into the us at the end of our trip. They tend to worry about abduction of babies and younger children who cannot speak for themselves rather than teenagers lol.

 

[chik1987]

You won't need a letter. You aren't an aunt/uncle running off with the kids. You will be visiting customs on your way back INTO the US, where you live, so customs isn't going to question where their dad is. I seriously wouldn't worry about it for one more second, despite what people may tell you on the internet

Thanks Yea I figured if they really thought I was a flight risk they wouldn't have issued me their passports lol. True I didn't think about going through customs on the way back into the US so I know at least for now we will be fine

 

[Pkltm]

Keep in mind that countries can change there regulations at any time and require passports/letters for entry. Much will depend upon the political climate when you travel, you never know who will be elected and how that can affect country to country relations.

 

[mydisneyboys]

I cruise with my boys on Disney frequently. I have never been required to have anything signed by their father. If children are traveling without either parent then they require something to be signed. But with one parent you are good to go!

 

[chik1987]

Keep in mind that countries can change there regulations at any time and require passports/letters for entry. Much will depend upon the political climate when you travel, you never know who will be elected and how that can affect country to country relations.

Very true I hadn't thought of that...always something to keep an eye out on.

 

[professorandmom]

To the OP: this is one of the topics on the DIS boards that causes my blood pressure to increase. As a single mom with an uncooperative ex (cruised two times when the kids were small) this situation is NOT as simple as many DISers think... an ideal world offers an easy answer with rainbows and unicorns.
I encourage you to gather ALL of the information you can because you will not find a simple answer to this tricky question

 

[JMHDisney]

I am also a single parent with an uncooperative ex. My son has a passport. I haven't been asked for documentation of permission to travel from my ex on our cruises so far, but I AM regularly asked for it when I travel abroad. I've been asked for it every single time I entered Canada and some other countries too.

So far, I have been able to get my ex to sign a notarized letter of permission for each trip. If he ever doesn't sign or I can't find him, I will go to court and file a motion asking the judge to let my kids go on that specific trip. No judge is going to enter a blanket order that you can travel out of the country with your kids anytime, but they absolutely will sign an order saying you can go on a 7 day Disney cruise on a particular date and if your ex opposes it, he will look ridiculous. The cost of that motion would be minimal compared to the cost of a cancelled wedding cruise.

If I could find my ex, I'd ask for the letter and if that didn't work, I would get a court order. I would never assume I could take my child out of the country without one or the other, unless I didn't care if the trip worked out or not. All it takes is one overly interested customs agent and it's over.

 

[wilkeliza]

OP it seems for every person who will tell you they have been questioned there will be the same number saying that people are crazy and you never get questioned.

Here is the official stance from US Customs and Boarder Control

https://help.cbp.gov/app/answers/de...-one-parent-or-someone-who-is-not-a-parent-or

Worst case if you get asked and don't have anything they will hold you until they can figure it out which would be a call to your lawyer or judge. Many people think it is just about fleeing internationally but parent alienation is another issue where one parent moves away and keeps the kids from the non-custodial parent. It is clear that is not what you are trying to do but the rules are in place to ensure that one parent doesn't just run off with the kids.

 

[bumbershoot]

I have joint legal custody of my children with my ex husband. He has not exercised any parenting time with them in over 2 years, has not paid support etc. Will Disney make me get his signature on some form giving me permission to travel out of the country with them? Both children have passports that I was able to obtain without his signature since I have no idea where he is and he as been out of contact for so long. I had been in discussions with a lawyer about getting permission from the judge to obtain a passport on my own because I didn't know if the state department would allow my exemption and he brought up making sure that I would be ok to travel without any kind of permission from him. I have seen documents for minors traveling without either of their parents but I wasn't sure in my situation if anything would be needed.

I would get things changed legally, personally.

Does EVERY parent have to prove that their kids are in fact theirs and that they have permission to travel out of the country?

Any parent CAN be asked. Most don't have such a thing, or forget to get such a thing (like our second to last trip to Canada where I forgot I'd be leaving with DS and not DH, and we were ASKED questions and then let on through, no biggie, but I don't mind *questions*).

I was under the assumption that as long as I had their passports that I wouldn't need to bring birth certificates etc for the children.

Apparently you still need to take birth certificates with you then? I thought once you obtained a passport you didn't need to carry their birth certificate anymore.

No one in the responses at the point of the above two quotes had said anything about bringing birth certificates.

they mentioned notarized custody paperwork, though.

After that we will probably end up petitioning for a step parent adoption.

because he will go against and fight anything I want because hes just an butt head.

Regarding the above two quotes...as a kid whose first stepdad once thought about adopting us... A dad who won't write a note and will fight anything you want because he's a butthead is so UNlikely to give up parental rights it's not even funny.

Also, my stepdad was in our lives from the time I was 7. They married when I was 9. They talked about adopting me and my brother, but my dad (who almost never paid child support, skipped out on at least half of our scheduled weekends, made my mom come get me at midnight (an hour's drive into the redwoods of Santa Cruz CA) the ONE time I got sick when I was at his place) absolutely positively totally REFUSED.

And then. My stepdad filed for divorce when I was 17 and brother was 15. So we were GLAD that he hadn't adopted us. He was a cruddy dad to his daughters; he was a fun stepdad but when he left my mom he left us too. Haven't heard from him since.

I'm sure your fiance is a better guy, but I would take some time.

And I wouldn't expect that dad is going to give up rights.

You won't need a letter. You aren't an aunt/uncle running off with the kids. You will be visiting customs on your way back INTO the US, where you live, so customs isn't going to question where their dad is. I seriously wouldn't worry about it for one more second, despite what people may tell you on the internet

She MIGHT need a letter on her way out. It's nice to have one. Doesn't sound like she's going to get one, so carrying the custody paperwork with her is likely a nice idea.

To the OP: this is one of the topics on the DIS boards that causes my blood pressure to increase. As a single mom with an uncooperative ex (cruised two times when the kids were small) this situation is NOT as simple as many DISers think... an ideal world offers an easy answer with rainbows and unicorns.
I encourage you to gather ALL of the information you can because you will not find a simple answer to this tricky question

Where in here do you see anything that sounds like anything involved is simple?

I am also a single parent with an uncooperative ex. My son has a passport. I haven't been asked for documentation of permission to travel from my ex on our cruises so far, but I AM regularly asked for it when I travel abroad. I've been asked for it every single time I entered Canada and some other countries too.

So for cruises you aren't answered, but plane and (maybe) driving trips you are?

I have been, too. Asked. I talk a good game about having permission, but I haven't yet done it, and when asked I answer and we move along. The guy at Heathrow was a bit of a jerk about it, but that was mainly when he asked (at the equivalent of 2am my body's time after 20 minutes of sleep in the previous 18 or so hours) how I was paying for the trip if I'm at at-home parent. I had to squash down all off-the-cuff responses (like "selling drugs") and say "my husband works". Then he asked where the husband was, and I said that he took a separate flight and was already at our destination, and we were let through. I'm sure it would have been fine even if DH had stayed at home. Just questions. I can handle questions.

 

[chik1987]

I am also a single parent with an uncooperative ex. My son has a passport. I haven't been asked for documentation of permission to travel from my ex on our cruises so far, but I AM regularly asked for it when I travel abroad. I've been asked for it every single time I entered Canada and some other countries too.

So far, I have been able to get my ex to sign a notarized letter of permission for each trip. If he ever doesn't sign or I can't find him, I will go to court and file a motion asking the judge to let my kids go on that specific trip. No judge is going to enter a blanket order that you can travel out of the country with your kids anytime, but they absolutely will sign an order saying you can go on a 7 day Disney cruise on a particular date and if your ex opposes it, he will look ridiculous. The cost of that motion would be minimal compared to the cost of a cancelled wedding cruise.

If I could find my ex, I'd ask for the letter and if that didn't work, I would get a court order. I would never assume I could take my child out of the country without one or the other, unless I didn't care if the trip worked out or not. All it takes is one overly interested customs agent and it's over.

You made a lot of good points. The good thing that has been pointed out is that the only time I will go through customs on a Disney Bahama cruise is when I'm re-entering into the us. Going to Castaway Cay there isn't any chance I could stay there or run off and if they don't want to let me off in Nassau thats fine with me we didn't plan on spending much time there anyway (that is the day we will hopefully be married on). It will for sure be something to look into if we are going to end up leaving from or going into other countries (Canada has been noted as a stickler for this paperwork as well as Mexico) in the future.

 

[Vijoge]

I've traveled frequently with my two oldest granddaughters, whose last names are different from mine. I've never been asked for proof that I have permission to travel with them-not by the airline or by the cruise line. I always carry their birth certificates and they have State ID's, and I do have a notarized parental letter, but no one ever asks to see it.

 

[DisneyWishes14]

My DS (now 8) and I sailed on a Disney Magic cruise to the Bahamas in February 2015. DH and I are married, but DH did not want to go on the trip. He happily let us go, but it never occurred to us to get anything signed. We sailed without issue. My DS has a passport and we were never questioned by DCL nor by anyone checking us off or on the ship in Nassau. I seriously doubt you will be denied entry into the Bahamas.

 

[chik1987]

I would get things changed legally, personally.



Any parent CAN be asked. Most don't have such a thing, or forget to get such a thing (like our second to last trip to Canada where I forgot I'd be leaving with DS and not DH, and we were ASKED questions and then let on through, no biggie, but I don't mind *questions*).





No one in the responses at the point of the above two quotes had said anything about bringing birth certificates.

they mentioned notarized custody paperwork, though.






Regarding the above two quotes...as a kid whose first stepdad once thought about adopting us... A dad who won't write a note and will fight anything you want because he's a butthead is so UNlikely to give up parental rights it's not even funny.

Also, my stepdad was in our lives from the time I was 7. They married when I was 9. They talked about adopting me and my brother, but my dad (who almost never paid child support, skipped out on at least half of our scheduled weekends, made my mom come get me at midnight (an hour's drive into the redwoods of Santa Cruz CA) the ONE time I got sick when I was at his place) absolutely positively totally REFUSED.

And then. My stepdad filed for divorce when I was 17 and brother was 15. So we were GLAD that he hadn't adopted us. He was a cruddy dad to his daughters; he was a fun stepdad but when he left my mom he left us too. Haven't heard from him since.

I'm sure your fiance is a better guy, but I would take some time.

And I wouldn't expect that dad is going to give up rights.



She MIGHT need a letter on her way out. It's nice to have one. Doesn't sound like she's going to get one, so carrying the custody paperwork with her is likely a nice idea.



Where in here do you see anything that sounds like anything involved is simple?



So for cruises you aren't answered, but plane and (maybe) driving trips you are?

I have been, too. Asked. I talk a good game about having permission, but I haven't yet done it, and when asked I answer and we move along. The guy at Heathrow was a bit of a jerk about it, but that was mainly when he asked (at the equivalent of 2am my body's time after 20 minutes of sleep in the previous 18 or so hours) how I was paying for the trip if I'm at at-home parent. I had to squash down all off-the-cuff responses (like "selling drugs") and say "my husband works". Then he asked where the husband was, and I said that he took a separate flight and was already at our destination, and we were let through. I'm sure it would have been fine even if DH had stayed at home. Just questions. I can handle questions.

I don't mind getting asked questions as well The main reason I brought up birth certificates is if everyone doesn't have them then how do you prove that they are your children besides saying "yes this is my child" and not a niece or nephew with the same last name? I guess I just don't understand because I thought the only reason I would need to have their birth certificate is to prove that they are my children (other than proving their identity and a passport does that) and since I have a passport it was my understanding that I no longer needed to carry their birth certificates? I know things like Canada Mexico etc will be a bigger deal than the Bahamas and we can cross that bridge when we get to it.

 

[JMHDisney]

I would get things changed legally, personally.



Any parent CAN be asked. Most don't have such a thing, or forget to get such a thing (like our second to last trip to Canada where I forgot I'd be leaving with DS and not DH, and we were ASKED questions and then let on through, no biggie, but I don't mind *questions*).





No one in the responses at the point of the above two quotes had said anything about bringing birth certificates.

they mentioned notarized custody paperwork, though.






Regarding the above two quotes...as a kid whose first stepdad once thought about adopting us... A dad who won't write a note and will fight anything you want because he's a butthead is so UNlikely to give up parental rights it's not even funny.

Also, my stepdad was in our lives from the time I was 7. They married when I was 9. They talked about adopting me and my brother, but my dad (who almost never paid child support, skipped out on at least half of our scheduled weekends, made my mom come get me at midnight (an hour's drive into the redwoods of Santa Cruz CA) the ONE time I got sick when I was at his place) absolutely positively totally REFUSED.

And then. My stepdad filed for divorce when I was 17 and brother was 15. So we were GLAD that he hadn't adopted us. He was a cruddy dad to his daughters; he was a fun stepdad but when he left my mom he left us too. Haven't heard from him since.

I'm sure your fiance is a better guy, but I would take some time.

And I wouldn't expect that dad is going to give up rights.



She MIGHT need a letter on her way out. It's nice to have one. Doesn't sound like she's going to get one, so carrying the custody paperwork with her is likely a nice idea.



Where in here do you see anything that sounds like anything involved is simple?



So for cruises you aren't answered, but plane and (maybe) driving trips you are?

I have been, too. Asked. I talk a good game about having permission, but I haven't yet done it, and when asked I answer and we move along. The guy at Heathrow was a bit of a jerk about it, but that was mainly when he asked (at the equivalent of 2am my body's time after 20 minutes of sleep in the previous 18 or so hours) how I was paying for the trip if I'm at at-home parent. I had to squash down all off-the-cuff responses (like "selling drugs") and say "my husband works". Then he asked where the husband was, and I said that he took a separate flight and was already at our destination, and we were let through. I'm sure it would have been fine even if DH had stayed at home. Just questions. I can handle questions.

I think the situation is very different for divorced parents than married traveling separately. As soon as you admit you are divorced, their radar goes up and talking your way out of it may not be so simple. They often delay you and with a cruise that delay might be enough to miss the boat.

 

[JMHDisney]

You made a lot of good points. The good thing that has been pointed out is that the only time I will go through customs on a Disney Bahama cruise is when I'm re-entering into the us. Going to Castaway Cay there isn't any chance I could stay there or run off and if they don't want to let me off in Nassau thats fine with me we didn't plan on spending much time there anyway (that is the day we will hopefully be married on). It will for sure be something to look into if we are going to end up leaving from or going into other countries (Canada has been noted as a stickler for this paperwork as well as Mexico) in the future.

I agree the risk of problems is much lower if you are just going to the Bahamas.

 

[wilkeliza]

I don't mind getting asked questions as well The main reason I brought up birth certificates is if everyone doesn't have them then how do you prove that they are your children besides saying "yes this is my child" and not a niece or nephew with the same last name? I guess I just don't understand because I thought the only reason I would need to have their birth certificate is to prove that they are my children (other than proving their identity and a passport does that) and since I have a passport it was my understanding that I no longer needed to carry their birth certificates? I know things like Canada Mexico etc will be a bigger deal than the Bahamas and we can cross that bridge when we get to it.

No need for birth certificate. When they scan the passport they can get all that same information. The birth certificates are just to prove identity.

I can't remember going through customs in any country going back onto the boat. For the Bahamas I'm sure you'll be okay but for piece of mind you can try to get a court document that just covers the trip stating that they are aware you are taking the children on a trip the will put you back in the area on x date. It won't change the custody agreement or anything but just solidifies that you are allowed to travel with out the other parent. If you can't get one and are detained then it seems like it would be a pretty easy issue for them to figure out and release you. I would just plan for extra time in customs and then go about planning the rest of what sounds like a wonderful time.

 

[chik1987]

No need for birth certificate. When they scan the passport they can get all that same information. The birth certificates are just to prove identity.

I can't remember going through customs in any country going back onto the boat. For the Bahamas I'm sure you'll be okay but for piece of mind you can try to get a court document that just covers the trip stating that they are aware you are taking the children on a trip the will put you back in the area on x date. It won't change the custody agreement or anything but just solidifies that you are allowed to travel with out the other parent. If you can't get one and are detained then it seems like it would be a pretty easy issue for them to figure out and release you. I would just plan for extra time in customs and then go about planning the rest of what sounds like a wonderful time.

Oh ok that makes sense. I wasn't sure how that worked. So will it show up then when they scan the passport that I was allowed to be issued a passport without my ex husbands signature?