Do I have to pay for airfare?

[runwad]

My dd is going on spring break with another family. They decided to go to Disney for a few days so I booked and paid for the hotel room at a Moderate for them since they are taking my DD. I also got my dd ticket. They never asked I only felt it was right as they are taking her. The other days they are staying a relatives house. My DD will have spending money for anything extra they do.

They were originally driving but now they find cheap flights and asked if I'd be ok w/DD flying. I said sure. So what do you think do i gotta now offer them money for her airfare too?

Honestly I don't want too because if I had known at the start how much I"d be paying for her to go when we have other things coming up, I'd of not let her go. They haven't said anything about me paying for the airfare, they only sent me the flight info from the airline website but there was no message attached. So what do you all think? Am I fine since they asked her on spring break and I got them all a room at Disney, or do I need to offer to pay her airfare too? How would you handle?

I guess I should say the airfare is around 180 round trip.

 

[powellrj]

I would pay for her ticket. Are they paying for her meals too? Are you sending money for those also? I know sometimes when we say yes, it kind of snowballs into more than we expected.

 

[runwad]

They stay with the grandparents and mostly eat in, meals provided by grandparents. If they go out or do anything DD has her own money for anything else. And she did go w/them last year and did pay for her own stuff. Last year I gave them gas money and paid for their hotel that they stopped at on the way down. This year I did Disney because they were driving straight thru. Now they are flying. Grandparents also get gift card for letting DD stay and providing whatever meals she does as a thank you. I also have an amazon box of food sent.

 

[Jen and Ashwin]

I would pay for her ticket. Are they paying for her meals too? Are you sending money for those also? I know sometimes when we say yes, it kind of snowballs into more than we expected.

I think it was pretty generous of you to pay for the Disney hotel. If they decided to add on Disney after she was invited on the trip, I don't think I would have stepped up to pay the hotel expense. But I would definitely have covered her park ticket. But now that the mode of travel has changed and you said it was alright, I think you have to expect you are paying for her flight ticket.

 

[wendow]

I would have paid her airfare, her park ticket and given her extra money for food/souvenirs. I can't figure out why you paid for their room...??? They would have needed to pay for a room whether your dd went with them or not. Maybe offering to cover 25% of the room but the whole room cost? Seems like a lot of cost to me when they invited your dd along on their trip.

 

[runwad]

^I paid for their room because I was being nice I guess. They're driving straight thru so no need for a hotel so I felt like I should contribute something since they were taking my kid for a week. And it's only 1 night, they are staying 2 days but only the one night, don't want you to think I"m paying for more than a day. The room is just a little more than the airfare.

They are leaving next week and just got the airfare today. I'm not sure they expect me to offer to pay for the airfare that was never mentioned but I feel funny not bringing it up. I wish they'd of said something on the email itinerary like your DD's airfare is this much. I kinda think they don't want to ask but if I offer they'll take me up on it. I feel like the airfare and the Disney hotel cancel each other out.

 

[wendow]

^I paid for their room because I was being nice I guess. They're driving straight thru so no need for a hotel so I felt like I should contribute something since they were taking my kid for a week. And it's only 1 night, they are staying 2 days but only the one night, don't want you to think I"m paying for more than a day. The room is just a little more than the airfare.

They are leaving next week and just got the airfare today. I'm not sure they expect me to offer to pay for the airfare that was never mentioned but I feel funny not bringing it up. I wish they'd of said something on the email itinerary like your DD's airfare is this much. I kinda think they don't want to ask but if I offer they'll take me up on it. I feel like the airfare and the Disney hotel cancel each other out.

Paying one night makes a bit more sense though I still am not sure I would have. It sounds like you have a very generous heart. In this day and age, I can appreciate that!

I also feel like the airfare and hotel cancel each other out. But how do you handle this with this family? I guess I'd just pay the airfare since they are leaving next week and this is all planned. In the future, I'd have some discussions early on about how expenses will break down.

 

[afan]

It seems like they found the cheap airfare and decided they wanted to fly instead, their choice, but a late choice. I wouldn't expect to pay for it nor would I expect you to if I was taking your daughter.

I would have discussed who was paying for what when they first asked your daughter, but I would never invite a child's friend and expect their parent's to pay unless it was discussed at the beginning. Not on the same scale, but I don't remember my friends or their parents paying for things if I was allowed to invite a friend, whether it was the movies, a meal or a weekend out of town. None of it happened often, but if money had been an issue I wouldn't have been given the option of inviting someone along. I realize everyone is different but I wouldn't worry. If they wanted the plane fare they should have asked you to purchase the ticket or asked you for the money before buying.

 

[wendow]

It seems like they found the cheap airfare and decided they wanted to fly instead, their choice, but a late choice. I wouldn't expect to pay for it nor would I expect you to if I was taking your daughter.

I would have discussed who was paying for what when they first asked your daughter, but I would never invite a child's friend and expect their parent's to pay unless it was discussed at the beginning. Not on the same scale, but I don't remember my friends or their parents paying for things if I was allowed to invite a friend, whether it was the movies, a meal or a weekend out of town. None of it happened often, but if money had been an issue I wouldn't have been given the option of inviting someone along. I realize everyone is different but I wouldn't worry. If they wanted the plane fare they should have asked you to purchase the ticket or asked you for the money before buying.

I am an only child raised by a single mom. I was asked along on lots of vacations and events with other families. I know my mom only gave me spending money. Maybe it was b/c my mom was single and people did not want to ask her for money?? But if we invite other kids to join our family, we cover their expenses. We have never invited any other kids on vacation though but I still feel like they would be our guests and treated like our kids. I'm not sure this is how others do it these days.

In the end, a discussion early on would be the best to avoid these issues.

Either way OP, I hope your dd has a great time!

 

[disfanforlife]

I know it probably will feel awkward but I would either call or send an email and ask. Did you buy a ticket for my daughter? That way you will know and don't take the chance of buying one if they already did.

 

[KristinU]

Is it the kind of thing where you can offer in order to be polite? I feel like it got a little convoluted with the hotel night...did you consult them to be sure they wanted that hotel night before buying it? If so, I kind of feel like it is a wash with the airfare...but then again that was kind of a gift, but then again THEY decided to fly rather than drive as originally planned. I really get your quandry.

We are taking DS's friend along in a few weeks. When I invited him I expected literally nothing to be paid for by his family, except some souvenir money, since he is our guest. Dad is firmly offering to pay for his park admission, and I'm sure he'll end up giving me an envelope of money...but we've done the polite back and forth of "I'll pay" "no, of course not, it is our pleasure" for the past couple of months. And quite honestly, since our DS is an only child and is now a tween, they are literally doing us a favor letting him join us! Mom and dad just aren't the same as a buddy...especially at the pool and stuff like that. Having his friend along will be more fun for everyone! Keep that in mind when you think this through...the parents are probably very happy to have your DD join them!

A side note, OP, do you send along some sort of signed letter allowing this family to obtain medical attention for your DD in an emergency?

 

[NewRVLady]

How can someone buy your DD's ticket?
I know your ticket name has to be EXACTLY what is on your Drivers license
(I know someone who was in big trouble because it didn't match)

 

[SirDuff]

How can someone buy your DD's ticket?
I know your ticket name has to be EXACTLY what is on your Drivers license
(I know someone who was in big trouble because it didn't match)

If she's under 18, she doesn't need to show ID (matching or not).

 

[mjkacmom]

This is confusing. Were they planning a night on Disney property, or did you offer it? I've heard of hosts expecting parents to pay for airfare and or tickets and or meals/souvenirs, but never lodging or gas, because they were paying for those anyway.

If you gifted the moderate room, and that wasn't in their plans, then I think you are stuck with the airfare. Either way, you will have to ask. If I'm taking another person on a flight, I'm booking everyone together, even if I get reimbursed.

 

[KristinU]

How can someone buy your DD's ticket?
I know your ticket name has to be EXACTLY what is on your Drivers license
(I know someone who was in big trouble because it didn't match)

"Children under the age of 18 and traveling on a domestic flight do not need to show identification or documentation unless they are under 14 days old (physician’s letter required) or are traveling as a lap child (proof of age may be required)."

I'm assuming her DD is under 18. In our case DS's friend's dad gave me his full name and DOB, but since he's under 18 his full name doesn't much matter.

 

[runwad]

Is it the kind of thing where you can offer in order to be polite? I feel like it got a little convoluted with the hotel night...did you consult them to be sure they wanted that hotel night before buying it? If so, I kind of feel like it is a wash with the airfare...but then again that was kind of a gift, but then again THEY decided to fly rather than drive as originally planned. I really get your quandry.

We are taking DS's friend along in a few weeks. When I invited him I expected literally nothing to be paid for by his family, except some souvenir money, since he is our guest. Dad is firmly offering to pay for his park admission, and I'm sure he'll end up giving me an envelope of money...but we've done the polite back and forth of "I'll pay" "no, of course not, it is our pleasure" for the past couple of months. And quite honestly, since our DS is an only child and is now a tween, they are literally doing us a favor letting him join us! Mom and dad just aren't the same as a buddy...especially at the pool and stuff like that. Having his friend along will be more fun for everyone! Keep that in mind when you think this through...the parents are probably very happy to have your DD join them!

A side note, OP, do you send along some sort of signed letter allowing this family to obtain medical attention for your DD in an emergency?

^Yep we've done this before, she going with them, so I've already gotten the signed permission slip from last time that I'll update. Thanks!

My DD spent the night w/her friend I told her to ask the mom what we owe for airfare. I think she will say nothing. If I emailed the dad I'd think he'd tell me!ha They are opposites.

If we invited a kid I'm in the camp I'd pay for them they bring their own spending money. I think this mom is that way too. They were teetering on going to Disney or not, once I offered to pay the room then those plans became concrete. I didn't mind paying. Other spring breakers will be there for the girls to meet up with so I wanted them to have that experience with all their friends. I do kinda feel since the mom didn't mention airfare price, just we found cheap flights, can she go, she wasn't meaning for me to pay. If she tells my dd a price, then I"ll suck it up and pay.

Last night I was just panicking cause as I said a lot of things are starting to come up, but another 200 bucks isn't going to bankrupt me, it's just more the principle of it. I feel better now that I"ve slept on it.

 

[runwad]

DD is under 18. I gave them her birthdate so they could book the airfare for everyone

 

[KristinU]

^Yep we've done this before, she going with them, so I've already gotten the signed permission slip from last time that I'll update. Thanks!

Can I ask you to PM me the text of the permission letter? We need to find something for April

 

[runwad]

Kristin here, I don't need to PM you after all

https://e4k.berkeley.edu/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/Medical-Treatment-Authorization-Form.pdf

 

[disfanforlife]

I understand totally. We went through similar experience. Our son invited a friends to go with us one year when our daughters could not go. We were happy to have him since we thought it would make the trip more enjoyable for everyone. But then his whole family ended up going and we traveled together. DS friends stayed with us in our room but his family paid for his expenses ( although we would have if he had gone alone with us). Then just this year DD's boyfriends went with us. We paid half and they each paid half of their expenses - not counting the room. We have DVC so we all stayed in our villa for the trip.