Do I call him? UPDATE

[Melann]

Yesterday, an ex boyfriend of mine called my house for the first time in about 5 or 6 years. We dated when I was a junior in HS, and it ended pretty bad! Now, my question is do I call him back? my only reason for calling would to want to know why he called me! My life is completely different from when I dated him...I'm about to graduate college, and i have a serious boyfriend who hopefully will be proposing soon! His calling completely threw me off because we basically said we never wanted to speak to each other!

I looked up the number online, and it was a cell phone from maryland (we both lived in Philly when we dated...i still do!)!!!!

What do you think? have any of you gotten calls from ex's long after you dated???

UPDATE:
-I wasn't "close" to him where it would be something health related (but a very valid and important point!)

-My boyfriend Rich was very supportive, saying if i felt i need to call him, that I should do it.

-I definately have no thought/care of getting back with him...I am extremely happy where I am!

NOW...I DID Call him. I called this morning, just to see what he wanted. It appears all he wanted to do was catch up, we chatted for a few minutes, and then he asked to me to call him back later. But, I won't...talking to him brought back some bad memories, and now that i know what was the reason for him calling I feel better! Thanks for all your support and comments!

 

[Toby'sFriend]

nope, don't call.

 

[chager]

I know I would be curious about what he wanted too. Consider this though you are involved with someone and it sounds like you are serious. I would discuss this with him first. A few years ago a guy I knew from my first job called. Actually Dh and I both knew him fairly well and we both know he had a seriuos thing for me. Well he calls because he wanrts to stay at our place for a couple weeks for some reason. I let Rick handle it but we decided due to me not being comfortable about it he would not stay with us. Another time a guy a grew up with called me out of the blue. We had been very close so I talked it over with Rick first. We decided it would be ok to talk with him so I called him back. Well even though I considered him more a brother then anything else it was obvious he had other things in mind when we got together. I felt awful becuase I had to hurt his feelings, but being as I was (still am) married there could never be anything between us. I then heard from another friend just recently that "D" has always loved me and even though he has married he is still not happy and still thinks of me. Just to clarify here...we never, ever dated but grew up together and he was (in my mind) more a brother then anything.
I guess I would be cautious as to why he is calling. It may be something very innocent, but I guess I err on the side of caution. At any rate this is a decision only you can make. Choose wisely.

 

[Serena]

I would call just because I'm curious.

 

[browneyes]

I wouldn't call him. Exes are usually exes for a reason.

 

[Rajah]

I wouldn't. If it was something important, he'll call back. If he keeps calling, *then* I might call back, but I agree -- ex's are usually ex's for a good reason.

 

[iamsorcerermickey]

These are your words:

"and i have a serious boyfriend who hopefully will be proposing soon!"

Think about it--is it really worth the risk of losing/hurting someone that it sounds like you are very interested in???

 

[monkeyboy]

Did he have any problems?


8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

 

[Bumbles]

I say call...not sure how "close" you were in your relationship, but I know the Department of Health highly recommends to people who are diagnosed with, how do I put this in a delicate way? communicable diseases, to contact people who may be affected.

Just a thought

 

[BedKnobbery2]

Bumbles, those were my thoughts *EXACTLY*. If you were sexually active with him in any way, you might want to call just for your peace of mind.

 

[LadyTrampScamp&Angel]

monkeyboy has a good point. It happened to me:

When much younger I had a boyfriend and we really did care about each other but he had some addiction problems that finally ended our relationship. A few years later I got one of those phone calls where he was making amends, in a 12 step program. I was already engaged to DH when the ex-boyfriend called (he got me first try, no messages were ever left) and I'm still glad to have had that conversation. It was nice to hear what he said and he also sent a letter afterwards, but since then I've never spoken with him again. I had moved on and he didn't try to contact me again.

So - I'm not sure for you but I'm glad for the apology and all for me. Maybe you should be upfront with your DBF and if it's ok with him, call and just see what the old BF wanted. You're not vulnerable to getting back with him right?

Good luck with your decision.

 

[MICKEY88]

It is best to let sleeping dogs lie...

 

[Bojangles]

STD's can be very dangerous if left untreated. You should call.

 

[Pembo]

Did he leave a message with a phone number? Or did you just see it on caller id?

 

[4greatboys]

I'd call just to see what he wanted. Could be some important info like some stated if not and he wants to meet up with you just say thanks but no thanks.

 

[DisneyMim]

I say call. If, as you say, your new relationship is strong, it won't do any harm, and as others have said it might be something important. If you don't talk to him now you may look back and wish you did. Better to get it over with now.

 

[IMGONNABE40!]

I would mention to you boyfriend that you received this call and that you plan to call back (perhaps for reasons mentioned by others in this thread). Then you are not keeping a secret from you present boyfriend and if there is upsetting infromation you will need to share that anyway.

 

[Blondie]

I don't know how "close" you two were, but it he just found out he is HIV positive, wouldn't you want to know so you could get checked also?

Just a thought.

I hope it doesn't come down to that. Good luck!

 

[honeywolf7]

OK, I voted no but then I read the reason that some people gave of a possible STD that he wanted to let you know about and if I was intimate with him, I would call him just to make sure. On the other hand, if I wasn't I wouldn't (if he was an addict and is trying to make amends, he'll just have to make amends with everyone but me.)

 

[minnie56]

I wouldn't call.

Why go looking for trouble? What would you say if it were your present boyfriends ex calling?? Should he or shouldn't he?