Divorcing Friends situation. WWYD?

[castleview]

So some friends of our are divorcing. Long story short: he works long hours, she cheated and wants out. They have three kids. Wife changed locks, filed for divorce, won't make kids call or see dad regarding visitation agreement, and is poisoning the kids against their dad. She has been held in contempt of court four times already but she still has full control of the kids (all under age five) - who knows when this divorce will be finalized. She often vents to me but I can't get past her selfishly denying a relationship between kids and dad. I feel like I'm eventually going to tell her off…or tell her straight. Bad idea. And is it a good idea to ignore the judge's orders?

 

[Sugardimples]

If you don't tell her what you think you are supporting her by your silence. Why you you want to support her behavior?

 

[Robinrs]

If you don't tell her what you think you are supporting her by your silence. Why you you want to support her behavior?

Because it's none of her business.

What makes people think that telling someone what they think will change the situation? That woman has made her decision, it's up to the husband, if he had some good sense, to not let her get away with it. He has the upper hand if she was the cheater, she lost her rights with that. If he wants to make this work for him he has to get the legal wheels running.

And OP, I'd avoid her like the plague.

 

[2binak]

If you don't tell her what you think you are supporting her by your silence. Why you you want to support her behavior?

Exactly! By staying silent, you're condoning her actions. Dh's best friend just went through a divorce and though the divorce is final, there are still issues going on. Anytime Dh's friend is being unreasonable, Dh tells him so. Why do you think it would be a bad idea to tell your friend how you feel?

As for your question about ignoring judge's orders, do you really have to ask?

 

[castleview]

Exactly! By staying silent, you're condoning her actions. Dh's best friend just went through a divorce and though the divorce is final, there are still issues going on. Anytime Dh's friend is being unreasonable, Dh tells him so. Why do you think it would be a bad idea to tell your friend how you feel?

As for your question about ignoring judge's orders, do you really have to ask?

I guess because we're not that close. She vents about stressful it is without trashing him, but everything else I know because DH sees her soon to be ex. I know it's his side, but it all makes sense from what we have heard/seen. She isn't exactly discreet about her new relationship…even though she thinks she is.

 

[LuvLDM]

Of course it's a bad idea to ignore the judges orders.

I wouldn't have a problem telling a friend how I feel about her actions in the situation you described.
You say she often vents to you about this so it's not as though you are sticking your nose in an offering unsolicited advice.

 

[hereyago]

So some friends of our are divorcing. Long story short: he works long hours, she cheated and wants out. They have three kids. Wife changed locks, filed for divorce, won't make kids call or see dad regarding visitation agreement, and is poisoning the kids against their dad. She has been held in contempt of court four times already but she still has full control of the kids (all under age five) - who knows when this divorce will be finalized. She often vents to me but I can't get past her selfishly denying a relationship between kids and dad. I feel like I'm eventually going to tell her off…or tell her straight. Bad idea. And is it a good idea to ignore the judge's orders?

If you aren't really close with her, drop her. If it were my close friend I would honestly be telling her that real parents don't do things like that and I had no respect for her, then drop her.