Divorce...need advice

[Buckalew11]

Hugs, Aurora. I am sorry you are going through this.

I'd sell also. Esp. since you do not have kids to even want the house for their home, you know what I mean? Make a clean break and as everyone has said, brighter days are ahead.
Your DIS friends are hear for you with wonderful, helpful advice.

 

[mjf2wdw]

I think if I understand you correctly, There is no equity in the house because of the soft market. If that is the case, you should get rid of the house so that he absorbs his fair share of the losses. If you want to keep the house, Dont file a quit claim deed unless you are sure that you can get your own mortgage, or you will be forced to sell and absorb the losses yourself. I also would not make any further commitments with H since he didnt follow through with the commitment to stay married. Best of luck to you whatever you decide.

PS Getting a divorce without a lawyer can be more costly than paying a good lawyer. Be careful

 

[Sherri]

I'm really sorry you are going through this. I was wondering if you could maybe find a renter that might be able to cover the mortgage then sell when the market is better.

 

[Nanabug02]

FYI, a quitclaim deed does not release you from the loan. It only releases your interests in the property. If you quitclaim the house to a spouse and he defaults on the loan, you are equally liable for the foreclosure.

That's in most states, anyway.

This is true. I am a paralegal at a fairly large foreclosure/mortgage law firm here in Dallas. I am pretty certain this applies to most other states as well.

 

[FionaLovesShrek]

First

Second, I know a little bit about what you are dealing with. Years ago my ex and I bought a house in November and on April 1st of the following year he moved out, ironically it was the day the first house payment was due. He also took the vehicle we had paid off and left me with the one with 3 years of payments still.

Since we basically had nothing into the house (my Mom had made the down payment) yet, he said I could have it. Nice guy, huh? I had him sign a quitclaim deed and found a roommate to help me afford to continue living there. About 3 years later I sold it and he received none of the profit.

Check into this and see if it is available where you live.

I'm sorry you are dealing with this.

I had a similar experience. H didn't want the house so he signed the quitclaim. We had just bought too. I kept the house for four years and sold it at a profit. He got nothing. Talk to a lawyer before making any decisions, every state has different laws. to you and good luck.

 

[manning]

Sorry to hear about your situation.


If both of you think it is worth it and want to

Have you both considered marriage counceling ??

 

[nannerbadnanner]

I would suggest selling. If his income is larger try to negotiate that he pay a larger portion of any loss that is incurred. Since he is seeking the divorce, he may be more agreeable to this.

to you in this time, but remember to take care of yourself. This is not the time to rollover and start making concessions. Be strong, get a good lawyer, and don't make any rash decisons.

 

[Aurora63]

Thanks everyone.

Last night we talked a little...he asked if I wanted the house, I said no, I couldn't afford it on my own. He said he couldn't either, but he didn't want to sell, so now he wants to keep it. I am fine with this. He is going to see if he can refinance. If not we're just gonna have to sell.

I'm setting up a new checking account today, and looking at a few apartments. Plus I think I'll start purging some old things I don't want anymore...clothes, etc.

Thanks for all your support...I am so overwhelmed and out of it. Confused, utterly crushed inside. I'm trying to stay strong. Thanks again. I'll check in later.

 

[mrsmom]

Kim

 

[kellyg403]

I also have been through this and understand completely how devastating it is to change your life so quickly. I do agree with the others that selling may be the best interest you have. As others have pointed out with the market the way it is, you at least will be able to share in the responsibility of selling and costs associated with that.

I, too, decided to sell our house when we got divorced and it was the best thing I ever did. When the kids and I moved to a rental property it REALLY did feel like we were putting the bad stuff behind us and starting over. It was a sad but very exciting period in our lives.

I also echo the advise about the lawyer. Not to cause any more hardship for you but please understand very few people can get through a divorce easily and nicely. Ours started out friendly, making joint decisions etc. My ex had a SO so as their relationship progressed so did her input on my divorce. Caused great heartache...for both ex and I. And then there are relatives with well meaning advice. Get all you can, he wants the divorce not you etc. Lawyers will cut out the emotional part, and you will need someone to do that for you. I hope that you find peace as you enter this new stage of your life.

Kelly

 

[greeneyedchic75]

I am sorry to hear your news , big

 

[KadysMom]

I dont have any advice, just

 

[princess pooh]

I'm so sorry you have to go through this