Disruptive children in restaurants

[WheresFigment?]

That whole plan works swimmingly until some kid eats half a restaurant provided crayon, and then suddenly it is all the restaurant's fault for giving someone's precious snowflake such a dangerous item.

You pretty much cannot say, do, or provide anything to anyone's children these days without anticipating some kind of backlash. I have a friend who freaks out every time her kid is given crayons even brand new in the box because she doesn't know how clean they are or if they have lead in them. I'm serious.

So for your plan to work, you have to make everyone a lot less sensitive about pretty much everything. I wish you good luck with that. Almost no restaurants even provide crayons anymore because it's too much of a hassle to deal with all the different things people flip out about.

 

[TDC Nala]

Is the point here that WDW should provide free items to children (like a free paint your own cookie or a free toy) to keep them distracted, and we can chalk up a lot of the misbehavior that does occur to the fact that the restaurant doesn't do enough to keep the kids happy? I can't imagine why they'd be required to do this beyond some crayons and one of those coloring menus (which some of the restaurants do provide - I haven't heard that they've stopped due to parental concerns about the cleanliness of the crayons but I guess that's possible). If the kiddies need stuff to keep them occupied the parents can take care of that.

Yeah, ultimately the management should take initiative. But Disney's business model is one of strict non-confrontation. If they won't ask a parent whose child is projectile vomiting all over Chef Mickey's to take the kid outside, they're not going to ask anyone to do anything.

And once again I see the argument that the restaurant needs to take the initiative, and not the parents, because "it's Disney."

You know, if Disney starts providing clothing to everyone who spills stuff, then there will be families going into the restaurants after telling their children to start a food fight so they can all get free tee shirts.

 

[indimom3]

I still don't think that "distraction" is really an element of what you are paying for at a Signature restaurant. At a character meal? Absolutely! But at a high-end restaurant that just happens to be in a resort that has lots of kids (WDW is not a kid-resort) then there is no expectation for them to cater to kids.

The waiter that brought the plate went above and beyond, as did the waiter that brought the tie. You can't expect "special" because then it isn't "special" anymore, it is standard. And I guarentee, if Disney started providing paint a plates to all the kids at a Signature:

A. There would be paint everywhere
B. It would cause an increase in price (because they are Disney and they CAN)

I think I disagree that there's no expectation for them to cater to kids. They have kid's meals, they have high chairs, and they have years worth of experience serving thousands of kids. There has to be a learning curve. They should be experts in this. I've only been a mom for 7 years, but I think I've gotten pretty good at it in that time.

You're absolutely right about the paint being everywhere. It was food based, if that helps.
But I don't agree with B. They don't need to invent an excuse to increase prices. They just go right ahead and do it every year.

 

[TheNewMrsB]

I think, however, that there is a difference between "underprepared" and "I'm too busy having a good time to watch my children". The previous poster who described the situation in Coral Reef, with the child who sat in her lap and played with her hair, was not the victim of parents who were underprepared for boredom. More like parents who were too busy in their own world to accompany their children to the tank if they wanted to see the fish, and too busy to notice that they had cozied up to a complete stranger, not only putting themselves in possible danger (I mean, yeah, we're in WDW, but bad things can happen anywhere) but also breaking into this stranger's world. It's these parents, along with those who allow their children to run around the restaurant and cause not only disturbance but danger for themselves and others, all while they enjoy their meal and conversation, who are the problem.

When I was growing up, my butt was in the seat and that was it. Same with my brother. And when I was 11 and 15 and my younger siblings were born, both my parents and I enforced that rule with them when we went out. It was just unthinkable to go to another table, or run around, or anything of that nature. Sure, we were normal kids who got antsy, but when things went over the line, just one "You wait til we get out of here" was enough to shut down any such impulses! And believe me, two of my three siblings...well, they were...spirited (like "kick you in the middle of your forehead as you tried to change their diaper" spirited). But we were all taught that there is a time and a place for that. A restaurant is not the place.

So no, this has nothing to do with unpreparedness (you can't prepare for everything), nor does it have to do with children with special needs, as was previously brought up. The real problem, at least for reasonable people who understand that children are children and that babies tend to cry, has to do with parents who can't be bothered to step up (you know the type - they take their kids to a party and then expect everyone else to keep an eye on them while they socialize).

 

[clanmcculloch]

The waiter that brought the plate went above and beyond, as did the waiter that brought the tie. You can't expect "special" because then it isn't "special" anymore, it is standard. And I guarentee, if Disney started providing paint a plates to all the kids at a Signature:

A. There would be paint everywhere
B. It would cause an increase in price (because they are Disney and they CAN)

The edible paints with a chocolate puzzle is one of the desserts at Artist Point. Plenty of kids order this at AP without paint going everywhere (again, edible paint).

The majority of parents do actually pay attention to their kids and parent. Disney does understand that this is a family destination and caters to families with kids. Doing this does make for a better experience for families and non-families alike because those families who do dine in signature locations responsibly are even better able to enjoy their meals because of things like this and non-families will also better enjoy their meals because the kids in the restaurant are further entertained. This is a good business move on Disney's part.

 

[TinkerBelle_325]

The edible paints with a chocolate puzzle is one of the desserts at Artist Point. Plenty of kids order this at AP without paint going everywhere (again, edible paint).

If the paint a plate is actually the white-chocolate puzzle then it wasn't "provided by the restaurant" it was ordered by the parents. That is a big difference. The item was a part of the children's menu (which as I have stated before it different/unique/more creative, at Signature restaurants.)

With this new info, that the "distraction" was actually a "dessert" then again, the onus remains with the parents to order that dessert to serve as a distraction. And it wasn't "given" to them, it was likely paid for.

 

[clanmcculloch]

If the paint a plate is actually the white-chocolate puzzle then it wasn't "provided by the restaurant" it was ordered by the parents. That is a big difference. The item was a part of the children's menu (which as I have stated before it different/unique/more creative, at Signature restaurants.)

With this new info, that the "distraction" was actually a "dessert" then again, the onus remains with the parents to order that dessert to serve as a distraction. And it wasn't "given" to them, it was likely paid for.

I agree. It would have been ordered by the parents and paid for. Having such options is part of the signature dining experience.

 

[indimom3]

The edible paints with a chocolate puzzle is one of the desserts at Artist Point. Plenty of kids order this at AP without paint going everywhere (again, edible paint).

The majority of parents do actually pay attention to their kids and parent. Disney does understand that this is a family destination and caters to families with kids. Doing this does make for a better experience for families and non-families alike because those families who do dine in signature locations responsibly are even better able to enjoy their meals because of things like this and non-families will also better enjoy their meals because the kids in the restaurant are further entertained. This is a good business move on Disney's part.

LOL - so much for me giving the waiter all the credit. Although, the kid and parents seemed surprised when he brought it out, so I still wonder if they actually ordered it. What a great kid's dessert item!

 

[TinkerBelle_325]

I agree. It would have been ordered by the parents and paid for. Having such options is part of the signature dining experience.

I totally agree with that! As I mentioned earlier, the Rice Crispy Sushi at CG is one of the coolest things I have ever seen.

I still don't feel that the Signature restaurants should provide a FREE toy/token/item of distraction to each child that dines there.

 

[clanmcculloch]

I totally agree with that! As I mentioned earlier, the Rice Crispy Sushi at CG is one of the coolest things I have ever seen.

I still don't feel that the Signature restaurants should provide a FREE toy/token/item of distraction to each child that dines there.

I agree. The overall atmosphere that everybody experiences is what you pay for with Signature dining. If the atmosphere doesn't hold any interest to your child then it's not the appropriate place to force them to dine in order to satisfy your own interests. I say this as somebody who will not be able to dine in certain restaurants until my kids are old enough to not have to accompany us to every meal (and since one's autistic I'm not sure when that'll be) or until we travel with others who can be with them while we dine on our own (that'll be happening in February; yay!!!).

 

[tony67]

You know, if Disney starts providing clothing to everyone who spills stuff, then there will be families going into the restaurants after telling their children to start a food fight so they can all get free tee shirts.

FOOD FIGHT!!!

LOL - You are so right.

Anyway - It is up to the parents, it seems no one wants to take responsibility for their actions or their kids actions anymore.

The first time some employee tells a guest to quiet their kid down or asks them to leave we will see it reported somewhere that loves to report anything negative in Disney.

I can see a lawsuit because some little princess was scarred for life after being kicked out of CRT.

My kids have been to many nice restaurants all over the world.
Even though he was use to being in nice places sometimes the Disney factor hits and the kid looses it.
We were in the Italian restaurant in the Swan when they opened and he just lost it.
We tried to calm him down, but it just didn’t work. He was hungry and over stimulated and acting crazy.
Even though the restaurant was completely empty and the waiter said not to worry about it my wife got the meals to go and took him back to the room.

We could have easily ignored him and ate our meal and it would not have bothered anyone.
But now he knows if he acts up he will lose out.

I have seen kids far worse than he was in a restaurant and the parents just let it go on.
Have some consideration for others. It is not all about you and your little angel.

 

[TinkerBelle_325]

Yeah, ultimately the management should take initiative. But Disney's business model is one of strict non-confrontation. If they won't ask a parent whose child is projectile vomiting all over Chef Mickey's to take the kid outside, they're not going to ask anyone to do anything.

This is very true. We dealt with screaming misbehaving children at Rose & Crown a few years ago and management's response? "This is Disneyworld, it is meant for kids, what do you want me to do?"

I can tell you, that did not go over well with DDad

We ended up being moved to the patio, with a perfect seat to view Illuminations, so the eventual solution worked for us, but what about the 10 other tables that were being inconvenienced?

Disneyworld is for all paying guests. I don't think a restaurant would hesitate to ask an intoxicated patron who was yelling expletives to leave, why should they hesitate to ask a family with a child throwing the mother-of-all-tantrums?

You know, if Disney starts providing clothing to everyone who spills stuff, then there will be families going into the restaurants after telling their children to start a food fight so they can all get free tee shirts.

LOL that was exactly my point! It seemed so insane to me that a restaurant should be expected to anticipate all possible scenarios. And as an aside, a waitress at Le Cellier spilled a glass of red wine all over DMom. We were not compensated for having to buy a new shirt.

I agree. The overall atmosphere that everybody experiences is what you pay for with Signature dining. If the atmosphere doesn't hold any interest to your child then it's not the appropriate place to force them to dine in order to satisfy your own interests. I say this as somebody who will not be able to dine in certain restaurants until my kids are old enough to not have to accompany us to every meal (and since one's autistic I'm not sure when that'll be) or until we travel with others who can be with them while we dine on our own (that'll be happening in February; yay!!!).

I fully agree. Parents are the ones choosing to take their children to Signature restaurants. Disney provides services for both in-room (Kids Nite Out) and group (Neverland Club etc.) babysitting services. If your kids can't behave in this calibre of restaurant there are other options for you.

FOOD FIGHT!!!

LOL - You are so right.

Anyway - It is up to the parents, it seems no one wants to take responsibility for their actions or their kids actions anymore.

Abolsutely! I am so sick of the entitled "but my child is special" attitude. I know the majority of parents aren't like that, but the ones that are irk me to no end!

The first time some employee tells a guest to quiet their kid down or asks them to leave we will see it reported somewhere that loves to report anything negative in Disney.

I can see a lawsuit because some little princess was scarred for life after being kicked out of CRT.

My kids have been to many nice restaurants all over the world.
Even though he was use to being in nice places sometimes the Disney factor hits and the kid looses it.
We were in the Italian restaurant in the Swan when they opened and he just lost it.
We tried to calm him down, but it just didn’t work. He was hungry and over stimulated and acting crazy.
Even though the restaurant was completely empty and the waiter said not to worry about it my wife got the meals to go and took him back to the room.

We could have easily ignored him and ate our meal and it would not have bothered anyone.
But now he knows if he acts up he will lose out.

I have seen kids far worse than he was in a restaurant and the parents just let it go on.
Have some consideration for others. It is not all about you and your little angel.

Thanks for being a considerate parent

 

[Kat77]

The special needs card doesn't fly with me. My 12 year old has Asperger Syndrome and you won't catch her doing anything that will disrupt other guests' meals. I go out of my way to ensure that. I book our meals for our normal, at home, meal times which are earlier than the crowds typically dine, I make sure she gets plenty of rest, I make sure there will be things on the menu that she'll like before booking the ADR and I make sure that the environment of the restaurant isn't likely to set off something to do with her autism. This means we don't get to eat at every single restaurant that we'd like to try and we eat at off times compared to most people but it's important to ensure she can cope. In addition, during our meals we actually talk with our kids. We've also taught them proper table manners and acceptable public behaviour. I do everything I can do to ensure we aren't intruding on others as well as to ensure WE will be able to enjoy our meal. I do also understand that kids will be kids and things will happen beyond our control but I take responsibility and yes in that rare event we have gotten our food boxed and left the restaurant. My daughter having a disability is NOT an excuse.

I'm very tollarant of families who are clearly trying their best to work with their child. Every parent has likely been in a similar situation. I have no tollerance for kids roaming restaurants or being ignored when they're clearly looking for attention or need something. These parents have no respect for other patrons or for their own kids.

Thank you! I have special needs children (Aspergers and Tourettes) also. My children know how to behave themselves in restaurants.
I suspect a large part of the problem with unruly kids while eating out is not overstimulation but lack of training in table manners. Our children have never been allowed to run around the kitchen table or leave their seats while having dinner at home, it is annoying and unsafe. We eat dinner at a table, even if we are having take out. We ask to be excused when we leave the table unless it is an emergency or to take care of a need (more milk). This may sound old fashioned but it pays off- you get young children who CAN sit through nice dinners out. I am not perfect and my kids are not either but they do show well Almost any child no longer requiring a highchair is capable of behaving themselves in a restaurant. If good behavior is modeled at home they will not know any different.

 

[Colleen27]

I read the horror stories from time to time but I've never personally witnessed one, at least not as far as I can recall. I do tend to be pretty oblivious, though, so it would have to be really really bad for me to take note. I can only recall one instance of "adults behaving badly" off the top of my head, and was on a Saturday during Food & Wine festival and as such wasn't entirely unexpected.

I'm very glad Disney is so welcoming of children in their better restaurants, and it is one of the reasons we keep going back. We live in a small town without any really nice restaurants so dining is a big part of our vacation experiences, and there aren't many places where you can take a toddler, no matter how well behaved, to restaurants on par with California Grill or Jiko.

We've been lucky with our kids - they've all been farily easy going from birth and two of the three are budding foodies who just love going out and trying new things, so restaurant behaviour has never really been an issue. I hate seeing oblivious parents ignoring a screaming or misbehaving child, because I know those families are the reason for rules against children in some venues and attitude from servers and other guests at others.

 

[Colleen27]

I can't wait for some of you with these rules to have children. Unfortunatley we cannot control everything. Yes my children have been disiplined over the years. But what do you do when your child has done well all day and then it just takes one thing to turn the tables. Are you suggesting we don't eat.

I have three kids. I know I can't control everything, and I know that it isn't parenting alone that determines behaviour. It does, however, determine one's reaction to that behaviour. We're not talking about a flight here where the timing is predetermined and there's a significant financial penalty for changes - canceling an ADR in favor of quick service to-go or in-room pizza rather than letting a tired/overstimulated/upset child act up in a restaurant isn't anything more than a very minor inconvenience.

 

[Colleen27]

as far as Kids playing under tables ALL kids do this and frankly is no ones buisness so long as it under the table of the family who owns the child...

No, really they don't. My 2yo knows better than to think she can play under the table, and I can't for the life of me understand why parents would allow it. I'm not a germaphobe in the least, but that is just yuck! Especially when the kid pops up to join the family when the food arrives and tucks into his food without having washed his hands....

I'm sure people have had plenty of occasion to look at me and apply the bad parent label, but only if they're nosing into things that don't effect them. Yes, I'm the parent with a sleeping baby getting on the bus at the end of evening EMH - that baby learned early on to sleep anywhere, owing to being born at the start of her 10-years-older brother's travel football season, and I shamelessly take advantage of the fact that she sleeps just as happily in her stroller as her crib. But seeing a sleeping baby late at night isn't ruining anyone else's experience; the same can't be said of sitting next to a misbehaving child in an expensive restaurant.

 

[faemuzzy]

This past week my husband and I were seated in a signature Disney, 2 table service each restaurant and enjoying a lovely evening. Right before our entrees arrived, a table was seated next to us with two adults who were totally oblivious to their two toddlers who proceeded to bounce the silverware off the floor, scream, bicker with each other, strike their parents, throw food, eat their thrown food off the floor and run around their table, drinks in hand. We choked down our entrees and immediately asked for our check, foregoing dessert for the sake of our sanity. When the manager came over to ask why, she could barely hear our reasons due to the ruckus behind her. She offered to move us to another table for our dessert. Since we had been there for about 45 min. then and were not throwing our food, and behaving as one would in a fine restaurant, why were we asked to move? That family next to us should have been asked to move - right out of the restaurant. I vote for signature restaurants children 5PM-7PM only and then out to play where play belongs. No more signature dinners until they change the playground atmosphere.

 

[NJEeyore]

You know it is Disney, therefore, kids are expected. Please don't lump all kids in any one group. I have, on many occations grabbed 1 child and left a restaurant. It's the parents that set the tone for young children. I've been to 5 star with my kids at 5yrs old. Keep it simple and quick, your fine. Thats not the time to lounge at dinner. If young kids never eat at fine dining they never now how to act. For kids it's all a learning experience. Unfortunately some parents have not learned.

 

[Planogirl]

There was a time when young kids were not taken to fine dining establishments and yet they still learned how to behave. They just learned at a later age.

Maybe there should be rules against disruptions and restaurants should actually have the courage to enforce such rules. One warning and then box up the family's meal and show them all the door is what I say.

 

[princess aleya]

I don't want to start a debate but I was reading restaurant reviews for a few signature restaurants that we are considering going to in October and having a 1 year old, I wanted to make sure they allowed young children into the restaurants. Anyway, I couldn't believe people who were writing and saying there were screaming/fussy children/babies at nearby tables throughout the entire meal. I will be honest, I think disney should have a policy, especially at a signature restaurant for this issue. If I was spending $100+ for a meal, I would not want to listen to a child crying/screaming/fussing etc. It's just not fair to the other guests and some parents apparently don't care about the other guests. My dh and I were going to a nice casino with a great steakhouse 4 years ago with our other children who are twins (they were 3 year old at that time). I called to make reservations and when I told him for 2 adults and 2 children, he asked how old the children were and when I told him 3, he said "sorry, no children under 5 allowed". I said to him, "thats a great idea". What is one to do, if they are trying to have dinner and throughout the whole dinner, there is a crying/screaming child nearby? Personally, I would leave, it would ruin my meal. Can the restaurants do anything about it? I know it's disney but one of the parents could leave with the child and take a walk, while the other eats and then switch after that parent is done. I think that would be the fair thing to do. Linda

Agreed.