Bill, Congratulations on your anniversary, what a great accomplishment.
It can be tough making relationships work (especially if you're sleeping with one eye open so you won't be smothered in your sleep

)
I think I remember you saying that you guys were going to Atlantic City and going to dinner and some slot playing at the Tropicana?
I don't know if you can afford it or not, but maybe if you can find a sitter you could just surprise your wife with a night there? Nice romantic time away from the kids and all.... You could still go get your drinks at the beach bar and then when she thinks you guys are getting ready to head back home you could take a little detour to the room....or give her a card with the room key in it, I'm sure you can think of some creative way to get her to the room...
I went to their website and tried to see if they have any sort of honeymoon or romance packages but I didnt see anything special. Maybe if you got a dozen roses (nice for this anniversary since you've been married 11 and then have an extra rose for your "love to grow on" ) and have them waiting in the room.
Anywho, I don't know if that is within your budget or not, but would probably surprise her greatly (especially if you had chapagne, or her favorite alcoholic beverage, chilling in the room)
And, boy wouldn't it surprise her if you even went to the trouble to pack the overnight bag with clothes in it for her for the next day
Some of the most romantic gifts though don't even have to cost anything, but if you are looking to actually spend some money since it sounds like you don't want to make the same, "you dont have to buy me anything" kind of mistake again,

maybe this would work for you.
I'm sure whatever you come up with will be great! Sounds like you have been very romantic in the past.
To be honest though, if I were your wife, I think I would be most in love with you during those times when you're out there fishing with the boys or dancing at the Girl Scout party with your daughter.... very sweet.
Congratulations!