Disney and dying.

[sstanaford]

I am at a loss. This poor person is facing losing their life and a couple of you are just plain heartless. I've seen her state MULTIPLE times that she isn't planning on doing it yet you keep coming at her and telling her she is wrong. Deegak or whatever your name is, you've tooted your own horn about what you've done and how perfect you are. Driving over the speed limit is breaking the law...PERIOD. That nonsense about going with the flow of traffic would not prevent you from getting a ticket. So therefore you have broken the law.

To the lady that is facing surgery, I pray that everything goes smoothly and that you make a full and wonderful recovery. I pray that you children don't have to know the heartache of losing a parent so young.

To those that are just mean spirited TRY to understand the heartache and frustration and stress that comes with planning your own funeral and knowing that in less than a month's time you could no longer be with your family. Try to think beyond yourself and think of others. Don't waste your life being so negative towards others.

I stopped reading this site a year or so ago because there were so many holier than tho, I am right and I am going to have a fit until you say I am right people. I linked this site to a friend and thought what the hey let's just see what is going on. This is the first thread I looked at and I am sorry to see that nothing has changed. Compassion seems to be dead unless you want it directed at you.

Again to the OP my heart breaks for you. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

 

[Glennie5]

The Health and Safety Code states it is a misdemeanor violation to scatter human cremation ashes on private property, which includes all Disney parks, without written permission (even though the ashes pose no threat to health).So does that mean you can go to Disney and ask for written permission to spread cremated ashes so you aren't breaking the law?

Well, you can. But when Disney representatives are asked for such permision their answer is always no.

To deal with the expanding problem, Disney’s custodial department has recently purchased special vacuums with HEPA filters to clean up the symbolic scene. These vacuums can capture the tiny cremated ash of human remains while also capturing the small bone fragments that often remain after the cremation.

When cast members witness the scattering of a powdery substance on a ride, they are required to call the janitorial hotline and quietly use the code "HEPA Cleanup."

I found the above information about Disney`s take on spreading ashes on their properties. Like I said before I am torn on how I feel about this. I can understand why someone who loves Disney would want their ashes spread there. For our family Disney holds our best family memories. I just think that if everyone who loved Disney wanted their ashes spread there it could get a little crazy.
I love the idea of the pp who wanted her children to have a small balloon ceremony at Disney world. I think it is a sweet idea and I hope your operation goes well.

 

[crisi]

I think the idea though from what has been expressed that in no way would it be the whole Urn full.
It would only be a little amount like a few pinches etc a token amount that would be somewhere for the family to visit or feel nice about where they are.

In a way i also think that once it is done the family will never know if anthing else happens to the ashes and so the comfort is sought and the wishes made no matter what

I don't know....since we are currently doing this with my brother in law, I'm sort of in the middle of trying to make arrangements and its really tough.

(thanks for the condolences whomever left them by the way - appreciated).

My brother in law had a long and horrible illness. But despite being very terminal, he had decided he wasn't going to die - and therefore didn't make his own arrangements about a lot of very important things, including the most of the funeral and where some of the really important things he had should end up. So we are in the middle of guessing. At the same time, he said some things over time that have now taken on the value of Things He Wanted and Must be Met because He has Passed. Some of these things can't happen - they aren't practical or they aren't legal. Some of them were throwaway statements he made years ago stuck in my mother in laws brain.

If he had said what he wanted done with his ashes, my mother in law, a very literal person, would currently be moving heaven and earth to make whatever he wanted happen, even if it were impractical - for all his ashes. (Well, since I'm the one handling execution on this, I'd be the one stuck telling her that we were not sending his ashes into space.) For one thing, she can't bear the thought that he'd be "spread" - the box he is in is what is left of "him" - for another, if he had said "ashes" he, in her mind, would have meant all his ashes.

But you don't always get what you want. What we want is my brother in law to have never gotten cancer and to be with us here today. And we can't change the physics of space, or make a facility that he would like for a gathering magically be available on short notice when people are flying and driving into town for something from the moment they heard of his passing. And a life is bigger than the person who lives it, we have to accommodate all those other lives right now.

And you are right, HE won't know (or if he does, its because he's reached a place where I doubt you have a lot of room in your soul for pettiness over your funeral arrangements). And his mother will come around to reality here when she has room for it - right now the only thing she has room for is grief (and we have a timeline for the people coming into town, so we can't really wait for her to catch up - cruel as that sounds).

 

[MommyBell08]

WoW this thread has gone craaaaazy mann craaaaazy.

 

[AntePrincess]

FYI, it was already cleared up that a three balloon release is not against the law in Florida. At all.

except maybe to the fish and wildlife in the water....

Seriously? Better stop those nightly fireworks than.

Actually you did disparage my character by implying I was lazy. You and your wife seem to have a problem with people debating. As unless they agreed with you 100% they are wrong.

I think you missed an idiom. "Can't do attitude" does not mean lazy. And I don't see anyone pulling the "if you don't agree with me you're wrong" but you.

Again with the RAF. Do you not get no one cares that you are RAF? It doesn't give you any special rights in this situation. I have several family members that are military or ex-military as well as several friends and none of them ever bring it up unless its germane to the conversation.

And no one believes you have special insight into either grief or Disney because you're a foster parent who once upon a time did a legal clinic, but it was quite a tangent.

You know maybe we should just get rid of our entire form of govt and just let you decide which laws to enforce and which to ignore. Forget the police, attorneys, judges, Congress, Senate, etc you seem to think you should decide which should be enforced and which shouldn't. Obviously being RAF you know all. (In case you don't get it that was sarcastic)

Woo hoo! An ad absurdem on the field! I'm buying the drinks this round of logical fallacy bingo!

I think you and your husband need to understand that its not all about you.

Anyone else get the impression that they're making this about them? Anyone? Oy.

Now if you read these quotes you will see where you said it doesn't matter what the law said you were going to do what you were going to do even if oops the boys let go of their balloons by accident. By implying rules do not apply to you, you have said you are special.

Uh... nope. More like they said some things FOR MOST PEOPLE transcend the law. Kind of the opposite message of they're being special snowflakes. (Oh, and they said they weren't doing it.)

I think I counted 5 times your husband's job was mentioned. None were germane to the conversation.

Like... your foster care and experience with the disabled was germane? Here's a cookie for being a decent human being, but you lost the gold star for staying on topic. Meanwhile, on earth, you brought up deportation and referred to them as not being American, the whole RAF business only came up as part of clarifying their citizenship, which you made an issue.

I am at a loss. This poor person is facing losing their life and a couple of you are just plain heartless. I've seen her state MULTIPLE times that she isn't planning on doing it yet you keep coming at her and telling her she is wrong. Deegak or whatever your name is, you've tooted your own horn about what you've done and how perfect you are. Driving over the speed limit is breaking the law...PERIOD. That nonsense about going with the flow of traffic would not prevent you from getting a ticket. So therefore you have broken the law.

To the lady that is facing surgery, I pray that everything goes smoothly and that you make a full and wonderful recovery. I pray that you children don't have to know the heartache of losing a parent so young.

To those that are just mean spirited TRY to understand the heartache and frustration and stress that comes with planning your own funeral and knowing that in less than a month's time you could no longer be with your family. Try to think beyond yourself and think of others. Don't waste your life being so negative towards others.

I stopped reading this site a year or so ago because there were so many holier than tho, I am right and I am going to have a fit until you say I am right people. I linked this site to a friend and thought what the hey let's just see what is going on. This is the first thread I looked at and I am sorry to see that nothing has changed. Compassion seems to be dead unless you want it directed at you.

Again to the OP my heart breaks for you. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Well said.

I don't know....since we are currently doing this with my brother in law, I'm sort of in the middle of trying to make arrangements and its really tough.

I'm sorry for your loss.

 

[AntePrincess]

WoW this thread has gone craaaaazy mann craaaaazy.

And how! I keep coming back for more.

Can we get a countdown till the next round of YAGE-ing off?

 

[Tony Toon]

I am at a loss. This poor person is facing losing their life and a couple of you are just plain heartless. .........

To the lady that is facing surgery, I pray that everything goes smoothly and that you make a full and wonderful recovery. I pray that you children don't have to know the heartache of losing a parent so young.

To those that are just mean spirited TRY to understand the heartache and frustration and stress that comes with planning your own funeral and knowing that in less than a month's time you could no longer be with your family. Try to think beyond yourself and think of others. Don't waste your life being so negative towards others.

...........

Again to the OP my heart breaks for you. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Finally, a little compassion.

 

[PHLtoMCO]

I am at a loss. This poor person is facing losing their life and a couple of you are just plain heartless. I've seen her state MULTIPLE times that she isn't planning on doing it yet you keep coming at her and telling her she is wrong. Deegak or whatever your name is, you've tooted your own horn about what you've done and how perfect you are. Driving over the speed limit is breaking the law...PERIOD. That nonsense about going with the flow of traffic would not prevent you from getting a ticket. So therefore you have broken the law.

To the lady that is facing surgery, I pray that everything goes smoothly and that you make a full and wonderful recovery. I pray that you children don't have to know the heartache of losing a parent so young.

To those that are just mean spirited TRY to understand the heartache and frustration and stress that comes with planning your own funeral and knowing that in less than a month's time you could no longer be with your family. Try to think beyond yourself and think of others. Don't waste your life being so negative towards others.

I stopped reading this site a year or so ago because there were so many holier than tho, I am right and I am going to have a fit until you say I am right people. I linked this site to a friend and thought what the hey let's just see what is going on. This is the first thread I looked at and I am sorry to see that nothing has changed. Compassion seems to be dead unless you want it directed at you.

Again to the OP my heart breaks for you. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

They don't get it and I'm 100% with you. Rules, rules, rules. Everyone LOVES to state the rules. And if people don't know the rules, they google them to come back to the boards and state the rules. I've seen a lot of people bypass posts leading up to the question, go right to your question and say "but you can't do that." If you're sick and have been battling an illness and your kids/husband/wife want to release a few balloons in your honor, then yes you are in fact, special and God bless you. Life is too short people!!! And that is the point you should be taking away from this thread. Oh and my Mom wants her ashes in DW too. I don't think it's that uncommon or crazy.

By the way, I brought my own plastic straw to animal kingdom 2 weeks ago!!!!

 

[PHLtoMCO]

And set off all the Disers who flip out about bubbles in the park?

 

[crisi]

They don't get it and I'm 100% with you. Rules, rules, rules. Everyone LOVES to state the rules. And if people don't know the rules, they google them to come back to the boards and state the rules. I've seen a lot of people bypass posts leading up to the question, go right to your question and say "but you can't do that." If you're sick and have been battling an illness and your kids/husband/wife want to release a few balloons in your honor, then yes you are in fact, special and God bless you. Life is too short people!!! And that is the point you should be taking away from this thread. Oh and my Mom wants her ashes in DW too. I don't think it's that uncommon or crazy.

By the way, I brought my own plastic straw to animal kingdom 2 weeks ago!!!!

However, the rules are there for a reason. One straw at AK has a very small chance of killing an animal, but if everyone were to break the rules, the risk would go up - and why should you get a straw and the tens of thousands of other guests in the park that day have to go without. Are you particularly special?

On ashes, there are tens of thousands of people who would like their ash disposed of at Disney - far too many for Disney to accommodate. Cremation ash is rather distinctive, and while you (and I) have every right to our grief, we really don't have a right to force the participation of total strangers in our grief - including Disney CMs who must clean up the parks and gardens - many who find the idea of spreading ash to be gross or offensive or morbid.

 

[PHLtoMCO]

However, the rules are there for a reason. One straw at AK has a very small chance of killing an animal, but if everyone were to break the rules, the risk would go up - and why should you get a straw and the tens of thousands of other guests in the park that day have to go without. Are you particularly special?

On ashes, there are tens of thousands of people who would like their ash disposed of at Disney - far too many for Disney to accommodate. Cremation ash is rather distinctive, and while you (and I) have every right to our grief, we really don't have a right to force the participation of total strangers in our grief - including Disney CMs who must clean up the parks and gardens - many who find the idea of spreading ash to be gross or offensive or morbid.

Here we go again!!! The straw comment wasn't serious, but the reaction was predictable!!!

 

[PHLtoMCO]

Let's all it out and send positive thoughts and pixie dust to those who have lost loved ones and suffering illnesses. Again, life is too short.

 

[Karenj2]

Wow - thank you for an entertaining thread for a Friday lunch break! (plus a few hours...)

Here's some totally random thoughts on the general subject matter:
- My dad has Swedish ancestry, and is involved with a Viking reenactment group (of which I'm a part, too). His wishes (I'm not sure how official they are), is that he wants to be creamated, then have his cremains put on a Viking ship replica and have that ship set ablaze and put out on the Chesapeake (where they live). There was a guy that actually built mini ships for this purpose, but unfortunately he died before my dad could get a ship built...

- We have a portion of my DH's aunt (his Godmother). We didn't really want it (not knowing what the heck to do with it), but we have it. We put her bag of cremains in one of our dog's cremain box - which is ironic considering she was highly allergic to dogs (but loved them). The rest of the aunt was scattered in various places - her favorite park, Sea Isle City NJ, her garden, etc. (So, sorry to all the germaphobes in SIC!)


To Tinkerpea - I hope that soon you'll be able to come back to this thread after your surgery and let us know that the decision is moot. Until then, you might want to ignore this thread so it doesn't cause you any more unnecessary stress... And good luck with your surgery!!

 

[tinkerpea]

I don't know....since we are currently doing this with my brother in law, I'm sort of in the middle of trying to make arrangements and its really tough.

(thanks for the condolences whomever left them by the way - appreciated).

My brother in law had a long and horrible illness. But despite being very terminal, he had decided he wasn't going to die - and therefore didn't make his own arrangements about a lot of very important things, including the most of the funeral and where some of the really important things he had should end up. So we are in the middle of guessing. At the same time, he said some things over time that have now taken on the value of Things He Wanted and Must be Met because He has Passed. Some of these things can't happen - they aren't practical or they aren't legal. Some of them were throwaway statements he made years ago stuck in my mother in laws brain.

If he had said what he wanted done with his ashes, my mother in law, a very literal person, would currently be moving heaven and earth to make whatever he wanted happen, even if it were impractical - for all his ashes. (Well, since I'm the one handling execution on this, I'd be the one stuck telling her that we were not sending his ashes into space.) For one thing, she can't bear the thought that he'd be "spread" - the box he is in is what is left of "him" - for another, if he had said "ashes" he, in her mind, would have meant all his ashes.

But you don't always get what you want. What we want is my brother in law to have never gotten cancer and to be with us here today. And we can't change the physics of space, or make a facility that he would like for a gathering magically be available on short notice when people are flying and driving into town for something from the moment they heard of his passing. And a life is bigger than the person who lives it, we have to accommodate all those other lives right now.

And you are right, HE won't know (or if he does, its because he's reached a place where I doubt you have a lot of room in your soul for pettiness over your funeral arrangements). And his mother will come around to reality here when she has room for it - right now the only thing she has room for is grief (and we have a timeline for the people coming into town, so we can't really wait for her to catch up - cruel as that sounds).

I really hope that everything for your brother in-laws arrangments goes as smoothly as possible,

One of the reasons that we are discussing my funeral arrangements now is because I have a very real possibility of not living past the next 2 wks Its my 3rd Op and i have a severe infection next to the lining of my brain! Ive been battling a Tumour in that area too for 6 years now and it has been taken out twice but aggresively comes back with in months! Ive had half my Mastoid bones taken out as it attatched itself to the bones.Im of course really hoping that everything goes fine and it wasnt until last month when my consultant said to me that i needed to think about my will due to being resuscitated twice during the last Op and once the time before that,and that felt this Op was more risky.I have a choice not to have the Op but that would mean allowing the Tumour to grow attaching to my brain and the infection to spread to the rest of my body.

I didnt want my family to have to sit and worry about everything I would have wanted and I knew straight away that a funeral was NOT something my children was going to attend so I wanted to come up with a very special way of them saying goodbye without that!
The Balloon release in itself is special as my boys LOVE balloons!!
I will be Cremated but still have not decided where i will be spread I wont have an Urn full of ashes for my boys to have to look at! although i have a few ideas anything i choose to do will be LEGAL and i dont have a favourite ride lol to be thrown from!!!!

I have however thought about(after it was posted on the thread) having the flowers from my funeral brought and placed as they are biodegradable and wont cause any harm!

you have my deepest condolence at this awful time

 

[luvmy2babies]

Well, this has certainly given me a different view of having to take my children to visit their father at the cemetery on Sunday. That is my daughter’s request by the way. She finds it comforting to go there. I don’t talk to daddy much at the cemetery because there’s my son. I chase him around there every time but at some point he will for some unknown reason settle over dh. At that point I will say, “this is where daddy is”. He gives me a thumbs up sign, even though he doesn’t even know what a daddy is yet. I’m practicing for when I have to tell him what happened. They were together just 8 weeks. Then he will ask if I’m okay.

The truth is, my husband had several final wishes and though they were difficult to carry out, there was nothing logistically hard about it. It all just required a lot of energy. Not everything was carried out exactly the way he wanted, but I did the best I could. It took some time for me to remember that as much as we love him, him passing didn’t mean I had to contort myself to his every wish, even some of his final ones. I did that when he was here.

My sincerest condolences to everyone on this thread who has lost someone, recently or not. Some things never stop hurting.

Tinkerpea, I hope things improve for you and your family and you all continue to have a long happy life together. I hope to return from our trip and find out you are recovering well from your operation.

I don’t know how old your children are, but having lived this life for over 2 years, How children’s minds work through these things is different. All children are different. Some things I have been surprised my daughter even thought of regarding her father’s passing. In our case, I know my daughter would have thrown a fit had I had him cremated so I am grateful I didn’t have to for her sake. She has chosen to honor him in ways I would not have expected, but have supported. I hope your family never has to face it. What’s meant the most with my crew the last two years has been our mantra: “We won’t be the same, but somehow we will be okay.”

Losing dh turned my daughter’s world on its ear for a while, but she was more concerned about what the people who had him were going to do. It was tough explaining to my 6 year-old at the time that her father who hated to be dirty had to be put into a hole in the ground. At the time we called it a “special bed” that was only used when someone dies. She checked the outside of the casket. She checked the thing to make sure it was soft inside. She asked a lot of questions over and over again including asking me constantly to make sure he was going to stay in it, when it was buried and not be put directly into the dirt because she knew he would never get another bath. She asked me about the box the “special bed” was put in to and was on me constantly to promise her they would not take him out of the casket after we left the site. I had to tell her that the funeral director would be watching them. It was a while before she started to concern herself with how we would live our lives without him because it took a while to fully set in he would not return.

All that rambling to say, final wishes and all, carrying on with your life incorporating what the departed person wants and what will be best for the people left behind requires balance, giving yourself permission to possibly deviate from the plan even knowing you’ve done your best for the departed loved one by loving them while they were with you.

 

[crisi]

Here we go again!!! The straw comment wasn't serious, but the reaction was predictable!!!

Frankly, so is the "I'm special and the rules don't apply to me" attitude.

 

[crisi]

I really hope that everything for your brother in-laws arrangments goes as smoothly as possible,

One of the reasons that we are discussing my funeral arrangements now is because I have a very real possibility of not living past the next 2 wks Its my 3rd Op and i have a severe infection next to the lining of my brain! Ive been battling a Tumour in that area too for 6 years now and it has been taken out twice but aggresively comes back with in months! Ive had half my Mastoid bones taken out as it attatched itself to the bones.Im of course really hoping that everything goes fine and it wasnt until last month when my consultant said to me that i needed to think about my will due to being resuscitated twice during the last Op and once the time before that,and that felt this Op was more risky.I have a choice not to have the Op but that would mean allowing the Tumour to grow attaching to my brain and the infection to spread to the rest of my body.

I didnt want my family to have to sit and worry about everything I would have wanted and I knew straight away that a funeral was NOT something my children was going to attend so I wanted to come up with a very special way of them saying goodbye without that!
The Balloon release in itself is special as my boys LOVE balloons!!
I will be Cremated but still have not decided where i will be spread I wont have an Urn full of ashes for my boys to have to look at! although i have a few ideas anything i choose to do will be LEGAL and i dont have a favourite ride lol to be thrown from!!!!

I have however thought about(after it was posted on the thread) having the flowers from my funeral brought and placed as they are biodegradable and wont cause any harm!

you have my deepest condolence at this awful time

Thank you. One of the best gifts you can leave your loved ones is not having to stress over arrangements, something mybrother in law did not have the courage to do, he spent his courage on other things. but I sincerely hope your plans are not needed for a very long time.

And now for more thank you notes. I'm twenty into two hundred.

 

[Glennie5]

.

 

[tinkerpea]

Thank you. One of the best gifts you can leave your loved ones is not having to stress over arrangements, something mybrother in law did not have the courage to do, he spent his courage on other things. but I sincerely hope your plans are not needed for a very long time.

And now for more thank you notes. I'm twenty into two hundred.

So do I as Im no where nr ready at only 26!!! so many more things I want to do including more trips to Disney with my darling little boys.
Wow 200!!

 

[PHLtoMCO]

So you made the comment just to stir up trouble.

Oh dear. It was a joke. I should have followed up with a No need to get worked up. It's disboards