Disappointed in adults

[kelleyrn2000]

My kids cheer for a junior tackle football league. This is the first year of the league so everything is a new learning experience for all of us. The kids coach is a teenager, this is new to her too, as she is a dance team member, not a cheerleader. Her assistant coach who is a cheerleader was unable to make todays game. This was the first time we had to share the track with another cheer squad, since our school does not have separate bleachers for the opposing team.

During the third quarter, the opposing teams coach, a woman in her late 20's/early 30's apparently came over to our coach, extremely irrate about a cheering issue, and went off on our coach who was standing directly in front of our girls who could very much hear every word. (apparently no swearing,but making nasty remarks about our squad and their "behavior"). Also, this rant was apparent to many of the fans, most of which are seated directly behind our cheersquad.

Our coach was very gracious to the other coach who was practically screaming at her, and did not say a negative word back, was very quiet, and just listened to the woman until she was done.

I was so disappointed when I heard of this happening, I would hope adults in a leadership role would be more mature and ask the coach to step aside and address the matter privately. Or maybe I am overreacting? The girls on the squad are 8-10 years old. And yes, the issue was something our squad was doing wrong, but it was entirely unintentional. It was due to inexperience.

Maybe I am overprotective? DH and I occasionally argue in front of our kids, but we make it a point to do it respectfully and with the intention that it helps the kids learn conflict resolution. Thoughts? The kids also looked visibly upset after this conflict occurred and it took a while before they were up to cheering again.

 

[MiniGirl]

Well, of course, I think it is awful. I think we should treat each other respectfully regardless of age difference, level of experience, our individual lots on life, etc, and I like to think that most of us do. However, I don't know why adults act like children when it comes to sports, and I do consider cheering to be a sport now days. The other coach should've taken her aside and asked her why they were doing what they were doing. When she realized it was because of inexperience and there was no malicious intent, she could've simply explained how things work. In the end though, it seems this coach is the only one that came off looking like the bad guy. Hopefully, someone will mention it to her.

Several years ago my dds (7 and 5 at the time) were in a Saturday bowling league. Because of the way the handicapping worked, my oldest dd's team ended up winning that year. This was a league with scholarship money at stake. Anyway, as the league was winding down, many of the adults and older bowlers started trash talking my dd's team trying to un-nerve them so they wouldn't win. The last month or so we had to really stick close and call these parents on everything they said to our girls. I often wondered how they slept at night harrassing a team of 4 7 & 8 year old girls. We did not return to that league the following year, and I heard through the grapevine these parents were eventually told they were not welcome there during league play. They had to drop their kids off, and the kids were told if their behavior continued they wouldn't be allowed to continue in the league.

 

[kelleyrn2000]

Well, of course, I think it is awful. I think we should treat each other respectfully regardless of age difference, level of experience, our individual lots on life, etc, and I like to think that most of us do. However, I don't know why adults act like children when it comes to sports, and I do consider cheering to be a sport now days. The other coach should've taken her aside and asked her why they were doing what they were doing. When she realized it was because of inexperience and there was no malicious intent, she could've simply explained how things work. In the end though, it seems this coach is the only one that came off looking like the bad guy. Hopefully, someone will mention it to her.

Several years ago my dds (7 and 5 at the time) were in a Saturday bowling league. Because of the way the handicapping worked, my oldest dd's team ended up winning that year. This was a league with scholarship money at stake. Anyway, as the league was winding down, many of the adults and older bowlers started trash talking my dd's team trying to un-nerve them so they wouldn't win. The last month or so we had to really stick close and call these parents on everything they said to our girls. I often wondered how they slept at night harrassing a team of 4 7 & 8 year old girls. We did not return to that league the following year, and I heard through the grapevine these parents were eventually told they were not welcome there during league play. They had to drop their kids off, and the kids were told if their behavior continued they wouldn't be allowed to continue in the league.

That's awful too. What happened to good sportsmanship? Ugh!

And you're right, the only one who looked bad was that coach. Hopefully most people understood our team had no bad intentions

 

[Hannathy]

depends what the cheering issue was and what they did wrong.
Your coach no matter what her age should have been aware of the rules that the girls needed to follow. sounds like she wasn't prepared.

she didn't need to be screaming but then again I don't know how serious the problem was.

 

[Swimnoid]

That's horrible! The older woman should think of herself as a mentor for the younger coaches in the league and act appropriately helping them learn the proper procedures etc. She is the one who is going to look like an A**. Glad to hear your coach maintained her cool. Bravo!

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Why didn't any of the fans stand up and say "Whoa! This is not appropriate in front of the kids. Take it to the side!" Everyone just sat there and watched? Really? Everyone has to sign the rules sheet including coaches so that behavior should not be tolerated. What if a parent behaved that way? I can't believe that everyone sat there and watched and nobody said a word.

 

[nuttylawprofessor]

depends what the cheering issue was and what they did wrong.
Your coach no matter what her age should have been aware of the rules that the girls needed to follow. sounds like she wasn't prepared.

she didn't need to be screaming but then again I don't know how serious the problem was.

Exactly what kind of cheerleading problem would justify the screaming coach's behavior?

 

[Hannathy]

some people are just yellers. and in sports there are a lot of them. But maybe the girls were dong a cheer that the association had said they weren't to do for safety? maybe catching girls or standing on each other. Maybe the girls were saying teasing or not nice things to the other cheer squad.
did your girls cheer when it was her girls turn? did they take up to much of the other teams space? I don't know.
I will give she shouldn't have yelled like a maniac but there might have been a reason behind her anger. And I reiterate your coach should have known the rules.

 

[kelleyrn2000]

The other team's cheerleaders were "sick" according to the opposing team's coach. This is what dd is telling me, as she heard every word out of the lady's mouth. So, our team didn't always hear them cheering down the track, as their voices were very quiet/hoarse. There were a few times where our team didn't hear them (and didn't look at them to see) that they were cheering and went ahead with cheers. It was not the polite thing for us to do. Our team should have been checking to see that the other team was not cheering first, so as not to "outcheer" them. Usually the opposing team cheers on the opposite side of the field, so it is not an issue. At our home field, we do not have a place on the opposite side for the opposing team to set up and cheer, nor for fans. So everyone is crunched together on one side of the field. This was our first home game where the opponents had cheerleaders.

Our coach was not prepared either, as she should have been, but that really is not her fault, it's the fault of the person in charge of our cheer organization. As a new league, there are alot of things that the coaches are still learning. Most of the coaches would have known to check to make sure the other team was done cheering. She is young and had never coached cheer before. But the bottom line is that we (meaning our squad) made a mistake and it was handled so immaturely by the other coach. IMO berating someone for a mistake without gathering information is immature.

 

[goofy!]

Exactly what kind of cheerleading problem would justify the screaming coach's behavior?

Ds has played club football since he was 7.

One of the things we have seen over the years is the opposing coach using the cheerleaders to try and cause penalties, such as chanting during the snap trying to draw an off sides penalty. It is one thing to have parents screaming, but cheerleaders chanting a cheer in a cadence is another.

Youth football can be a brutal sport - the parents & coaches, not the kids.

While I don't condone the other coach's way of handling things at all, I have to agree that more of the story needs to be told and what exactly the cheerleaders were doing.

 

[nuttylawprofessor]

The other coach was wrong. There's no need for a "but" or other qualification/justification.

The peeved coach should have walked over, asked to speak to the teen coach, and solved the problem. If that doesn't work, and the team is engaging in unsportsmanlike conduct (e.g. trying to throw off the snap count), coach should speak to the officials. If that doesn't solve the problem, take it up with the league.

 

[goofy!]

The other coach was wrong. There's no need for a "but" or other qualification/justification.

The peeved coach should have walked over, asked to speak to the teen coach, and solved the problem. If that doesn't work, and the team is engaging in unsportsmanlike conduct (e.g. trying to throw off the snap count), coach should speak to the officials. If that doesn't solve the problem, take it up with the league.

I agree the other coach was wrong and should have handled it differently.

However, I have seen coaches become very frustrated when the opposing team is continuously crossing the line in sportsmanship. Especially if the young boys pull a penalty due to the opposing cheerleaders' shenanigans.

However, this doesn't sound like it was the case for the OP.

 

[kaytieeldr]

Well, with more of the story, I see two ways to handle it:
1) The way it was handled, by yelling at the home team coach in front of the cheerleaders and the parents (and if the visitor's coach wasn't ill and hoarse before that, likely she is now ); or
2) Approach the opposing (home) team coach and say, "I'm not sure you're aware but my girls are still cheering. If you watch us, I'll signal you when we're done."