disappointed in a friend/coworker

[HOGFAN]

well, I told staff today that I was cutting them back to 32 hours/week. They took it better than I thought they would. To be fair, it affects everyone, including me. Later I had the doctor who 'oversees' our clinic and a nurse tell me that a certain individual should be excluded because she is exceptionally good at her job. I, the doctor, the nurse, the individual, and I had an impromtu meeting to discuss. The individual agreed with the nurse and doctor that her hours should not be cut. She is my best friend. I am not disappointed that she didnt back me up as much as I am disappointed that she is acting in her own best interest(so she wont have to use up her vacation time) and not being a team player. So I may not have to 'cut' somebody elses hours(or layoff) more to support her being able to keep hers. I am questioning her character and wondering if she is really someone I want in my life.

 

[Pakey]

I have been in upper management a long time now and two things I learned many years ago were 1) not to combine my professional and personal life and 2) not to expect my staff to have the same views/expectations that I do.

 

[Heidict]

well, I told staff today that I was cutting them back to 32 hours/week. They took it better than I thought they would. To be fair, it affects everyone, including me. Later I had the doctor who 'oversees' our clinic and a nurse tell me that a certain individual should be excluded because she is exceptionally good at her job. I, the doctor, the nurse, the individual, and I had an impromtu meeting to discuss. The individual agreed with the nurse and doctor that her hours should not be cut. She is my best friend. I am not disappointed that she didnt back me up as much as I am disappointed that she is acting in her own best interest(so she wont have to use up her vacation time) and not being a team player. So I may not have to 'cut' somebody elses hours(or layoff) more to support her being able to keep hers. I am questioning her character and wondering if she is really someone I want in my life.

I can see why you're upset. Due to your friendship with her I'm sure that you would have preferred if she had come to you first about this.

She is just looking out for herself though. You may be very good friends, but you aren't going to pay her bills and in the end that is what is most important to her. Her bills, the roof over her head, her family and their security.

She may have been nervous in coming to you about this, thinking that would have thought she was trying to play up on the friendship to get an exemption to the new rule, so she took it to to someone else who could also make that decision or who could bring the point up on her behalf.

Does she really need the extra time to complete her work or do you feel that this is just an excuse so that she won't lose hours?

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

I agree with the PP who said that you should never become friends with your staff - especially so close that you would refer to them as your "best friend". In this case she has no problems separating her job from her friendship with you. I suggest that you also break away from that mistake and do what is best for your business - not a single employee. Treat your employees differently and you are creating a situation that will destroy the morale of those who just agreed to make sacrifices.

Frankly, I would tell her that she is cut to 32 hours and that she can look for other employment if that is not satisfactory...

 

[dzorn]

Great so when the other employees realize she gets to keep her hours how will that make them feel. Like Dog Doo Doo I would guess.

Denise in MI

 

[jlewisinsyr]

This is my take: business is business, if you want to be my friend at the office and in my personal life, fine, but understand when at the office, don't expect me to give you special treatment, ever.

 

[HOGFAN]

We have been best friends for awhile. Only recently was I promoted to being her boss. I agree that she is very good at what she does. The rest of the staff will NOT understand. The doctor told me that it is "my job' as the boss to make the others understand. Understand what? They they have to make further sacrifices so that she can stay at work? I RUN the friggin place and I have to contribute the same as the others.

 

[srferson]

Yeah, I don't really understand. If you're all having your hours cut then you should all be having your hours cut. I'm really curious, is there any more justification than 'she's really good at her job?' Is there actually a need for her to be there more time than other people? And I'm wondering, ultimately, whose decision is it? Yours or someone else's?

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

We have been best friends for awhile. Only recently was I promoted to being her boss. I agree that she is very good at what she does. The rest of the staff will NOT understand. The doctor told me that it is "my job' as the boss to make the others understand. Understand what? They they have to make further sacrifices so that she can stay at work? I RUN the friggin place and I have to contribute the same as the others.

So, have you been told that you cannot cut this person's hours as you just did to the rest of the staff?

 

[HOGFAN]

So, have you been told that you cannot cut this person's hours as you just did to the rest of the staff?

Not yet by the person that matters. I will not be able to approach her until monday. Friend is one of 3 that does her particular job. Granted, she is the best of the three and the doctor trusts her judgement the most. BUT, IMO she is part of a team and wont be doing her part. So basically, she will get a summer vacation when nobody else gets to, get full pay when nobody else will. I am so angry, I could spit. I just want her to be in the same room when I have to tell someone else that they have to be laid off, hours cut some more, etc. Because it WILL happen, our company is soo numbers driven.

 

[DawnCt1]

There is another thought to think about. When everyone has to take a hit to "share the pain", then everyone is in essense, demoralized. They too have to figure out how to pay their bills, etc. That puts the business at risk because the best person, who probably is very employable, can go elsewhere and get full time hours thus leaving the team with 'mediocre' players. I am not saying that anyone else is "mediocre" but if she is the best, then perhaps they are doing what they need to do to retain her.

 

[tasha99]

There is another thought to think about. When everyone has to take a hit to "share the pain", then everyone is in essense, demoralized. They too have to figure out how to pay their bills, etc. That puts the business at risk because the best person, who probably is very employable, can go elsewhere and get full time hours thus leaving the team with 'mediocre' players. I am not saying that anyone else is "mediocre" but if she is the best, then perhaps they are doing what they need to do to retain her.

I agree. Also, OP, are you sure this is coming from her? If the doctor wants her to stay, whether she agrees or not is her own opinion. She's allowed to have one, even if it isn't the same as what you would do.

 

[sparklynails23]

It doesn't sound like it was necessarily her choice, it was the doctor's choice-- your boss's choice. Did you really think that she should volunteer for a huge pay cut and to forego summer vacation because you are her friend? Are you maybe hurt that the doctor and nurse insisted that she be excluded and not you? She's good at her job, and they are rewarding her. It's the American way.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

There is another thought to think about. When everyone has to take a hit to "share the pain", then everyone is in essense, demoralized. They too have to figure out how to pay their bills, etc. That puts the business at risk because the best person, who probably is very employable, can go elsewhere and get full time hours thus leaving the team with 'mediocre' players. I am not saying that anyone else is "mediocre" but if she is the best, then perhaps they are doing what they need to do to retain her.

If she has a staff full of mediocre people, she needs to fire them and replace them with some of the very qualified people out of work right now. Now is not the time to cave to selfish employees. Now is the time to eliminate dead wood and strengthen your staff. Companies standing pat with weak employees will not survive in this economy...

 

[chicagodisneyfan]

Not yet by the person that matters. I will not be able to approach her until monday. Friend is one of 3 that does her particular job. Granted, she is the best of the three and the doctor trusts her judgement the most. BUT, IMO she is part of a team and wont be doing her part. So basically, she will get a summer vacation when nobody else gets to, get full pay when nobody else will. I am so angry, I could spit. I just want her to be in the same room when I have to tell someone else that they have to be laid off, hours cut some more, etc. Because it WILL happen, our company is soo numbers driven.

Why would you not want to keep the best employee and make one of the others go to 24 hours a week.

The best should get the good perks.

 

[MiniGirl]

It would bother me, too, OP. It is a huge insult to everyone else that works there -- even if she truly is the best worker. Also, if ya'll are best friends, could this be seen as you playing favorites? That could undermine your authority, and that would really bother me.

 

[Heidict]

If she has a staff full of mediocre people, she needs to fire them and replace them with some of the very qualified people out of work right now. Now is not the time to cave to selfish employees. Now is the time to eliminate dead wood and strengthen your staff. Companies standing pat with weak employees will not survive in this economy...

That is a very good point. I'm sure that there are a myriad of reasons why this is not happening like it should. Maybe the cost for training isn't there? Maybe they don't want to have to pay the unemployment benefits, unions, allowing personal feelings to make business decisions. Who knows, but companies do need to wake up to it and do it. I would think that it would only benefit them.

 

[HoneyPooh]

Am I missing something or is the OP saying that she is her friends supervisor and yet the friend will keep all her hours and benefits because she is "good" at her job and she, the supervisor, will not? That makes no sense to me, wasn't the OP made supervisor because she was "good" at her job? I'm not even getting into all the other employees I can't get past the supervisor contributing but not one of her employees.

The only time I have ever seen this happen before was when we just could not figure out why our boss let a certain employee get away with the things she got away with and everyone else was in the doghouse all the time. We found out when the the boss was audited. She knew to much and he couldn't afford to tell her no.

 

[ToddyLu]

 

[chicagodisneyfan]

It would bother me, too, OP. It is a huge insult to everyone else that works there -- even if she truly is the best worker. Also, if ya'll are best friends, could this be seen as you playing favorites? That could undermine your authority, and that would really bother me.

Why - do you not expect people who are better workers to get additional perks?

I do!