disappointed in a friend/coworker

[DisneyBamaFan]

That's the clarification I'm seeking.

I don't know if she asked the doctor/nurse or if they brought it upon themselves to make the request for her. It seems fishy to me.

OP posted the other day that she had to do this to her team--to everyone on the team. And now we have this post that she has been requested to not do it for this one person. My timeline is messed up--but it seems the request (either by friend or by the doctor who works with said friend) came after the announcement.

If friend truly indeed was "blind" to all of this occurring and her doctor person was preventing a cut without her knowledge, I would feel very different.

I find it very hard to believe that these two people came forward asking for her time back without a word from her...

 

[ez]

just also want to add...what really constitutes doing a good job...unless 2 people are doing exactly the same thing each and every day and they are evaluated at each step of the way...is it fair to judge? Some jobs are more thankless than others. I know when I was a letter carrier...we would have people who would run their routes, misdeliver mail to get done quickly, not even attempt to get signatures on certified letters, not attempting packages, in other words not doing anything they are required to do that would slow them up. However, these carriers were always the favorites of management,(cause managements #s would look good) getting to go home early when they wanted while an employee with much more senority might be forced to work overtime against their will. And yes moral did suffer!!!
It sounds like this woman does a good job but sounds like the dr and nurse have some vested interest in her...what is she doing that makes their job easier, I'm wondering. Maybe things that arent even policy...just a thought.

 

[MineMail]

My timeline is messed up--but it seems the request (either by friend or by the doctor who works with said friend) came after the announcement.

If friend truly indeed was "blind" to all of this occurring and her doctor person was preventing a cut without her knowledge, I would feel very different.

I think the events occurred in that order: the hours change was made effective across the board, but after the announcement, the doctor/nurse approached the OP about the exception, then they all met with the person in question.

That's why I questioned when the Doctor and Nurse found out about the hours cut. They may not have known it was coming. It would have been better for them to voice this preference ahead of the announcement.

I could see the person in question being caught off-guard and not thinking fast to say "but is this the RIGHT thing to do?" during the meeting. I'll give her the benefit of the doubt, but I also wonder if the three of them didn't have a pre-meeting-chat about saving her hours. If they're friendly, that could have occurred beforehand, and the OP is watching a staged drama unfold.


My initial thought was that this might be an office role, but I'm leaning towards patient care. From talking to friends who work at medical practices, doctors and nurses do get a little choosy about which patient care staff they prefer. Doctors in particular feel that they should be able to choose their immediate support staff. That could very well be the case here.

But that doesn't necessarily make this staffer The Best. It's really The Favorite.
That won't go over well at all because there's no measurement for preference, only for work output.

 

[srferson]

In addition she could be just as upset that it is not affecting you the same.... If you're really talking about everything being fair....

Maybe I misread somewhere, but I thought it is affecting the OP the same way. Her hours are being cut too, right?

There are a lot of complications here. Lots of points to discuss/debate, but a couple things I think.

If I have the story straight in my mind, your friend didn't do anything wrong. She was accepting the hours being offered to her, not begging for them back. I'm kind of curious what you would think of another employee (not your close friend) making that same decision. Don't you think they'd make the same decision? Would you think that made that person a bad person? What if you were offered that deal?

One thing I am getting tired of reading is that you did something wrong by staying friends with someone who was already a close friend when you were moved to the management position. What were you going to do, say 'Hey good friend, I'm your boss now so go away unless you have a work question!' If you choose to stay friends, you will need to figure out how to walk that line and stand strong as a supervisor, but that's your decision. Sometimes friendship is complicated, but worth the complication.

And yes, I'd agree some pieces of this whole situation could probably have been handled better, but hindsight is 20/20, right? Live and learn. Hopefully that's what people are trying to offer when they tell you what you did wrong? Hopefully they're offering advice for the next time, because telling you what you've done wrong already is not going to improve your situation any.

Whether you see her as a friend or a co-worker or both, do try to put yourself in her shoes. Her decision does make things more complicated for you and that's probably frustrating, but I think it's an understandable decision.

 

[tasha99]

One thing I am getting tired of reading is that you did something wrong by staying friends with someone who was already a close friend when you were moved to the management position. What were you going to do, say 'Hey good friend, I'm your boss now so go away unless you have a work question!' If you choose to stay friends, you will need to figure out how to walk that line and stand strong as a supervisor, but that's your decision. Sometimes friendship is complicated, but worth the complication.

I agree with this. I would never lose a friend over work like that. I had to laugh at the military example someone gave--not only completely different, but as someone who was in the military at one point, completely untrue there as well (at least in practice).

 

[Minnie]

Maybe I misread somewhere, but I thought it is affecting the OP the same way. Her hours are being cut too, right?

Not necessarily... the OP mentioned meetings, deadlines, ect that would not allow her to necessarily contribute to the cut hours.

 

[srferson]

Not necessarily... the OP mentioned meetings, deadlines, ect that would not allow her to necessarily contribute to the cut hours.

You're right. She did mention that some weeks she may not be able to cut down hours but she'll do what she can.

OP, out of curiousity, does the change in hours affect the full time vs part time status of yourself and/or the other employees?

 

[lillygator]

also op, if you were in the position of your friend what would you have done?

 

[HOGFAN]

HOGFAN- I'm confused about something. Did she go to the doctor and request that her hours not be cut or was this the doctors idea from the beginning?

not sure, I know the nurse saw the memo i sent out. Friend,nurse and doctor were in a procedure together. Nurse asked friend(in front of doctor) if the memo affected her. Next thing I know nurse and doctor blindsided me.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

not sure, I know the nurse saw the memo i sent out. Friend,nurse and doctor were in a procedure together. Nurse asked friend(in front of doctor) if the memo affected her. Next thing I know nurse and doctor blindsided me.

I don't know your personal situation, but if I were asked to manage a situation like this and then told how to manage it, I would start looking for another job. They would be showing you that they either do not trust your judgement or that they do not respect your position. In either case, I would look to leave as soon as I found another job...

 

[curious3069]

I don't know your personal situation, but if I were asked to manage a situation like this and then told how to manage it, I would start looking for another job. They would be showing you that they either do not trust your judgement or that they do not respect your position. In either case, I would look to leave as soon as I found another job...

This...and you need to think about your own job too. If she stays on full time, will you have cut enough hours to make your goal? I think your biggest mistake was actually to cut your own hours and I would get that changed ASAP. The practice still needs to be run the full 40 hours a week, unless clinic hours are being cut too?

 

[HOGFAN]

no, clinic hours not being cut. Right now I am just gonna play it by ear and see how the numbers play out. Its gonna be hard for me to try to run the show and cut back but If that what it takes...I will also have to have friend cut back if thats what it takes too..administration will back me up..all they are looking at right now is numbers.

 

[manning]

The nurse blind sided you?? Some friend!!!

Look for another job and when you find it quit this one. One thing about doctors is they are poor office managers. It will take him awhile to recover.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

The nurse blind sided you?? Some friend!!!

Look for another job and when you find it quit this one. One thing about doctors is they are poor office managers. It will take him awhile to recover.

No doubt.

After discussion on the thread and your further explanation, I think the nurse used her relationship with you to her advantage.

"looking out for your family" or "negotiating for your real worth" is one thing. But in a time of cutbacks--what she did demonstrates that your friendship is now nothing more than her ticket to keep a step ahead of the rest of the staff.

I do not blame you for this. She had no place in doing that at all regardless of her reasons.

It is telling when you may have to cut your hours and she didn't consider that given that YOU are her superior.

I feel on your behalf.

At work--please remember that she is not your friend. She is your co-worker and subordinate. It can get sticky--but you keep talking about "cutting your friends hours" and you are not doing a darn thing to your friend. You are doing it to an employee.

 

[srferson]

No doubt.

After discussion on the thread and your further explanation, I think the nurse used her relationship with you to her advantage.

"looking out for your family" or "negotiating for your real worth" is one thing. But in a time of cutbacks--what she did demonstrates that your friendship is now nothing more than her ticket to keep a step ahead of the rest of the staff.

I do not blame you for this. She had no place in doing that at all regardless of her reasons.

It is telling when you may have to cut your hours and she didn't consider that given that YOU are her superior.

I feel on your behalf.

At work--please remember that she is not your friend. She is your co-worker and subordinate. It can get sticky--but you keep talking about "cutting your friends hours" and you are not doing a darn thing to your friend. You are doing it to an employee.

Just so you know... Neither the doctor nor the nurse who blindsided her are the friend she was talking about. As far as the OP knows (or at least has stated at this point), the friend isn't the one who brought up the idea of her keeping her full time hours. The friend just said yes when it was offered to her.

 

[shortbun]

Yeah, I'm not clear on the problem. Do you think this 'friend' went to the doctor and nurse to beg them to plead for her job or do they honestly think they can not get along without her? If the 2nd is true then it IS your job to make everyone else understand that she plays such an important role that you currently need to keep her at full time.
You can also tell them by saying' it was pointed out to me by Dr. XXX that there was one employee who he/she needed to keep full time so I'm reviewing that issue and for now she will stay at full time.

Also, could you not find another way for this employee to participate in the cuts? A way that would not cause a hardship for the doctors and nurses but would at least LOOK like she was participating? Like-give up a week of paid vacation but continue working full time?

 

[HOGFAN]

friend is not a nurse. I am gonna make sure that she goes to 36, at least. Leaving an hour here and there, coming in an hour late, taking a long lunch, I can make it work. Her workload does vary a little bit from day to day. If she is so friggin valuable, then I dont see how I can possibly let her take any vacation,leave early for doctors appointments, call in sick, or anything else(sarcasm). I know part of her is trying to save her paid time off and preserve her paycheck. who of us doesnt have bills or want to take a vacation? She also knows that this will make it more difficult for me to be a manager. I will just do what I can and forget about the rest!!! Thanks for everyones opinion, even the harsh ones. I wont be looking for another job, been there over ten years, get paid very well, and have about 6 weeks vacation built up so Im not really worried about cutting back a little. I have very good friendships that I have built up over the years and this is not enough to drive me off. Everything will work out.

 

[frndshpcptn]

friend is not a nurse. I am gonna make sure that she goes to 36, at least. Leaving an hour here and there, coming in an hour late, taking a long lunch, I can make it work. Her workload does vary a little bit from day to day. If she is so friggin valuable, then I dont see how I can possibly let her take any vacation,leave early for doctors appointments, call in sick, or anything else(sarcasm). I know part of her is trying to save her paid time off and preserve her paycheck. who of us doesnt have bills or want to take a vacation? She also knows that this will make it more difficult for me to be a manager. I will just do what I can and forget about the rest!!! Thanks for everyones opinion, even the harsh ones. I wont be looking for another job, been there over ten years, get paid very well, and have about 6 weeks vacation built up so Im not really worried about cutting back a little. I have very good friendships that I have built up over the years and this is not enough to drive me off. Everything will work out.

You seem really angry and making life herder for her at work on purpose does not sound like the making of a good manager.

 

[crashbb]

You seem really angry and making life herder for her at work on purpose does not sound like the making of a good manager.

Gotta agree with this.

 

[sparklynails23]

Here's another consideration. If you cut one person's hours drastically, they can apply for unemployment to make up part of the difference. If you cut everyone by 8 hours, they are all out that money.