Dis Breast Cancer Survivors Part IV - GAGWTA

[smiley_face2]

tmm really glad your surgeon stopped and checked the margins and went back for more! i hope you will have an easy time with your recovery.
LMP that's what we did, the house was a disaster after all the kids finally moved out. We even had 2 of our kids, live here with us with there spouses and first children while saving money to get their own places. It helped them a lot but left us with a house in need of total redecorating, and in some cases right down to the studs! It's taking us a while to get it done, and being on a disability pension now makes it that much harder.
Tomorrow it the anniversary of our sons death, and I wish I could go to sleep and wake up in the summer. It is cold and raining and blowing and so dark here right now

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Thank you smiley.

So are you looking to buy right now and move or have you moved yet?

 

[smiley_face2]

Thank you smiley.

So are you looking to buy right now and move or have you moved yet?

Oh no, we are here for a while yet! The house used to be my husbands grandparents! lot's of family history. We were hoping one day one of our kids would want to live here. We built on to the house 2 seperate times, the 2nd time was so my mom could come live here with us after my dad died. The house is just way too big for the 2 of us now. But our dear sons oldest daughter, who is just turning 12, talks about coming back here to live when she is out of school. Her mom moved her and her 3 little sisters to the big city 2 years after our son died. She couldn't cope with all the memories of the living in the house they shared. She still owns the house and land and rents it out. We are hoping maybe our grand daughter will come live here with us, as we live in town, and their property is out in the countryside. We are a block away from the community college so she could even go to school here. We love her so much!! she was so close to her dad, and she looks so much like him it is unreal, and even the way she acts and how she talks, it is like he is back her with us, which can be very painful as well as joyful. We will see what happens. We want the ease of having a small home and no property to maintain, but don't want to give up on a family home. We are still in our mid 50's so not old, but with my health issues, I have a hard time keeping up. Hubby has severe PTSD from the incident that took our sons life at the workplace they both worked at. So he is on a disability pension. He is physically able, but he just can't think well anymore. He has a lot of depression and that sucks all the energy out of you! and the medications they have him on are very strong, and he has no balance, no climbing ladders or anything for him! Anyway that is all wayyyyyy more than you probably wanted to know! LOL! I really hope you are feeling better today!
Oh and after the terrible weather yesterday, and it stormed so hard last night, we woke up to brilliant sun and warm temperatures, we took it as a gift from our son. It was a stormy dark cold day the day he passed.

 

[leebee]

MM - glad your surgery went well. Get lots of rest and let your sister pamper you!!

I am worried about Minky. Has anyone heard from her??

Janet - so love your pictures. I will only start thinking of remodeling the inside once all the ds are out of here.

GAGWTA

I'm worried about her, too. I can't get the search function to function for me, so can't see the last time she posted. Hopefully everything is going well and she is just busy with life!

I posted awhile back when my MIL was diagnosed with breast cancer. You were all an amazing support, even just by answering my questions. She is doing well- in fact, she did better with the surgery/radiation/chemo than she did with the reconstruction. I don't know all the details but she had issues with the expander and infections and was hospitalized a couple of times. She ended up having a recon where they took muscle/skin from her back and made a flap. She said if she'd realized how traumatic it all was going to be, she would've skipped the recon. Right now, she's not doing so well. She had a-fib last week with soaring BP and had an allergic response to some of the meds they used. Her a-fib is mostly stabilized, but she's developed pneumonia. She's 83, and we're all worried.

DD22's boyfriend's mom has just started her chemo for BC and shaved her head this morning as her hair was coming out by the fistful. They thought she had a small (<1cm) tumor and would be stage 1 but instead they found a larger tumor (~2 cm) and couldn't get clear margins, so she's going full-tilt into chemo and I think radiation follow-up. This is hard for DD; she and her boyfriend are serious about staying together (pinned, if that means anything to anyone, planing their future together) and DD really loves his mom.

I guess the upswing to all of this is that I had my first mammogram in 30 years this morning. I know, I know... SO ignorant of me to put it off for so long. Anyhow, it was so much easier than the technology from 30 years ago. Tech said she didn't see anything concerning, and I'm not worried. (I can't imagine she'd say that if it weren't true...) However, I am going to keep up with it all, now. Too many people, too near and dear, finding breast cancer. Hope you are all well, and thanks again for listening- you all have your own lives to worry about, so I appreciate the support for a stranger!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Smiley, thanks for the explanation. We are currently putting this house on the market in a couple of weeks.

Leebee that sounds so tough. Major hugs to you.

My results are in and it is a double negative friday!!!!

No spread to the lymph nodes, clear margins, and it was still only a cm. My stage one remains....YEA!

So now onto radiation and tamoxifen.

I had zero pain from this btw. Weird or common?

 

[robinb]

leebee, I'm so sorry to hear about your MIL and your DD's BF's mother . Reconstruction at 83 seems odd to me. It's seems unnecessary to have elective surgery for someone so elderly. I hope that she bounces back.


The Mystery Machine, GREAT NEWS!

ETA: Minky last posted on 12/8 and was last online 12/23. I too am worried.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Ok, just one question about lymphedema. Swelling is spreading to the shoulder area, my sis says it is a 2+.

TIPS?

TIA

 

[luvmarypoppins]

Janet - Sending you lots of and prayers for Gods peace and comfort. I love your sunshine story. I pray all the wonderful memories you have of your ds bring you comfort too.

 

[luvmarypoppins]

MM - that is such wonderful news!!

leebee - I hope your mil is healing too. I cant imagine going through all of those procedures at her age either. Wishing your dd bf mom all the best too.

Well I am giving you all a piece of because today is my 7 year cancerversary (thanks to Anne for that terminology). God is so good. From almost dying and being in the coma to still being here. I am asking dh to take me out for dinner tonight.

I told ds 3 that its strange he is working there.

And in the more good news dept. Ds3 was told he will be officially on days the end of March. Great!! So he wont be sleeping or even if he has to work holidays he can celebrate when he gets home and not go to sleep. He is happy that he will be able to go to the beach at normal days and times too.

Sad news, my cousin told me that his step brother (my cousin) died. He was the same age as me and he had a stroke. He had 4 kids, 7 grand kids and a great grandchild. Wow. I know his twin sister but didnt know him really well at all. Sadly that part of our family is not close. He was the twin child of my dads twin brother.So far no one in the 3rd generation (my kids and all the cousins kids) have had twins yet. I saw a picture of him on facebook and he looked like one of the Duck Dynasty guys with lighter hair.

Have a wonderful week end everyone. GAGWTA.

 

[Dancind]

I think the swelling is going to happen after surgery. As long as it goes down. And no pain is good, I think they do some kind of nerve block actually.

I had a six month follow up today. Gosh, I hate those. But all is well for another six months.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I think the swelling is going to happen after surgery. As long as it goes down. And no pain is good, I think they do some kind of nerve block actually.

I had a six month follow up today. Gosh, I hate those. But all is well for another six months.

Six month follow up, eh? Fun never ends. Glad all is well.

The swelling is going up and down. No nerve block here, but I am icing it as needed and it seems to work. I kept the ice bag they gave me on it for 3 days straight after surgery.

Sleeping is the thing that is a pita. I am at my sister's recovering and not in my own bed, which sucks. DH is doing final touches and putting the house on the market, so I am 'kicked out' so to speak.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

TMM did they give you arm "exercises" to do?

 

[smiley_face2]

Janet - Sending you lots of and prayers for Gods peace and comfort. I love your sunshine story. I pray all the wonderful memories you have of your ds bring you comfort too.

Thankyou so much. That is what I pray for now too, just strength to deal with everything, and some peace.

 

[smiley_face2]

I think the swelling is going to happen after surgery. As long as it goes down. And no pain is good, I think they do some kind of nerve block actually.

I had a six month follow up today. Gosh, I hate those. But all is well for another six months.

Yay!!!

 

[smiley_face2]

Smiley, thanks for the explanation. We are currently putting this house on the market in a couple of weeks.

Leebee that sounds so tough. Major hugs to you.

My results are in and it is a double negative friday!!!!

No spread to the lymph nodes, clear margins, and it was still only a cm. My stage one remains....YEA!

So now onto radiation and tamoxifen.

I had zero pain from this btw. Weird or common?

That is such great news!!! I was lucky to have it not in my lymph nodes as well. But I did have a lot of lymphadema even though they only removed 3 lymph nodes. I still have issues with it, when I am not feeling well, or use that arm too heavily. which is inconvenient because it is my right arm. I finally went for physiotherapy and they used the machine on my arm, I don't remember what it is called, but it helped tremendously!! I wish I had gotten one to use at home! So no chemotherapy? that is awesome!

 

[leebee]

leebee, I'm so sorry to hear about your MIL and your DD's BF's mother . Reconstruction at 83 seems odd to me. It's seems unnecessary to have elective surgery for someone so elderly. I hope that she bounces back.


The Mystery Machine, GREAT NEWS!

ETA: Minky last posted on 12/8 and was last online 12/23. I too am worried.

From conversations with my MIL (we are very close), I am not convinced that reconstruction was 100% her idea. There was a lot of drive and direction from a SIL, who is very caught up in body image (and has had extensive cosmetic surgery herself... eyes, nose, breasts, cheeks, butt). I think my MIL did it as much for reassurance to her daughter that everything would be fine as she did it for herself. Hope I worded that in a way everyone could understand.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

When they take the nodes out, it disrupts the lymph channels a bit. Fluid gets down into your arm, but has trouble getting back out. Not all the time, but some of the time. It's dependent on a lot of things - like how many nodes came out, anatomy of the arm, medical health and conditions, and whether or not the area is irradiated, which can further disrupt the flow. And you're right, how to differentiate how much is "normal" post op swelling vs. lymphedema? (Which is a more chronic process.) So often after breast surgery with axillary node dissection, they usually recommend arm exercises which help with the initial "retraining" of the lymph channels so that a new pathway for fluid can be learned. Remember the "fingers crawling up the wall" exercises? (Snappy hasn't weight in yet but I remember she was diligent about doing hers, lol.)

I had eight nodes removed, total. Two were positive. I had - and still have - a very mild case of chronic lymphedema. Most people wouldn't notice it on me, but I can feel that side is a little "tighter" and my hand is just a slight bit swollen sometimes, especially if I have something high in sodium. I had a couple of bouts shortly after my surgery and radiation where I had to go to a physical therapist trained in lymphedema who basically massaged it in a certain way to help teach the lymph how to get out, i.e. re-establish new channels. I think it worked for the most part. I used to wear a sleeve when I fly because that is the one time my arm will swell quite a bit if I don't, but come to think of it, I forgot it last time and it was fine. So make sure you do the exercises they recommended after surgery. BTW I forgot to say, I"m happy for your results.

Leebee, I cringed with the story of your MIL. I think it gets harder and harder as we age to be able to tolerate surgery. My mother is 90 now, and in good health, but if surgery would be needed at this point, we would have to really weigh the pros and cons of it because the likelihood of complications at that age is so high. This has been the case up to now, also, and we were fortunate we were not faced with having to do any type of surgery. Came close, but didn't have to, thankfully. I would lean against it. I beg her to be careful walking so she doesn't break a hip, but today I found her out in the driveway straddling a snowbank with a cane, when she really needs a walker now, so my fingers are crossed. I took care of someone this week who was late 80s and insisting she wanted to go forward with surgery even though people were trying to talk her out of it. She wanted to feel better. Unfortunately at that age, and with some of the problems that inevitably occur, feeling better can be relative.

 

[TheDisneyDoll]

I have a question for y'all. I have recently signed up to raise money for a childhood cancer foundation so i can run a half marathon under their name and I am wanting to dedicate my fundraising efforts in honor of someone I love who does have cancer.
Now I got that persons permission, but i have to be honest. i have never honored someone else in a situation like this and i'm not quite sure what i am supposed to do?
I feel like that sounds rude to question what it means I do after i've already committed to it, but i am just looking for a little advise.

What would it mean to you, to be honored?

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I think it's nice. I've had people "honor" me before, too. (And we have honored eachother here at our various fundraisers like Relay for Life, etc.) It means a lot.

It just means that you're acknowledging this person's struggle and you're showing you care and helping by assisting with fund raising to fight it. A beautiful thing, IMO. Thank you.

 

[Dancind]

My aunt is 84, and she was diagnosed last year. I think it was an early stage but I'm not sure. She had a mastectomy and chemo, I think even radiation. I really wanted to tell her to think about just a lumpectomy, but not my call. My grandmother lived to 102, so I'm sure she and her family are thinking about that. But all the treatments are so hard on the body and QOL. At least she didn't have reconstruction, but she does deal with pain every day.