Good second line pics, Ann, thanks for posting. I am amazed your sister was able to get us both in that one shot as we were really prancing around. Ann, I had to crop your sisters out of those pictures. Did you do the same?
Today while I was working, my sister and brother Tom whipped mom's house back into shape after his visit. It is sparkling. Wish they would come to my house and do their magic.
I am "on call." I am sure being alone is the hardest part of this recovery thing for mom. Good thing it takes me about five minutes (maybe less) to get to her house. It has really made me think about how lucky I am to have DH. Our kids were always in their own worlds so not much help but DH really walked that fine line between doing stuff for me when I needed help and letting me test my wings when I was ready to step out a bit. Who knew an aging Irishman with a wicked sense of humor and an evil laugh could be so caring?
It is my turn to help mom.
She hasn't taken any pain meds in a few days, not even the muscle relaxer since last night.
Maureen, I can understand your second thoughts. Prophalactic surgery is BIG. I also understand the thought process behind undergoing it and the implant exchange all at once. You have been through so much. Don't beat yourself up about the second thoughts. I think it is very normal to feel this way. I can't give any advice other than there is no single right way to go. You have to go with your heart and try not to look backwards, only forwards, just like your username.
OK a mom/day of surgery story or two.
First, I got very emotional when we walked back to day surgery, it just brought everything back for me to the day I had my mastectomy in 2004 (same hospital and all.) I really had to catch myselfto keep from sobbing out loud; mom, however, just breezed right in, no problem. I don't think she had a clue how it affected me but the greeter sure did, she very gently led us back and gave me a very compassionate hug.
Later, when a nurse came to bring her to Radiology to have the dye injected for the sentinel node surgery, my sister and I waited behind in her day surgery private room. My sister was in the bathroom when a young lady from the anesthesiology department sailed right it with the paperwork. She saw my sister coming out of the bathroom (I was around the corner, and she could not see me) and she lets loose in a bold, peppy voice, Ah, so you're the patient!! Sis shakes her head emphatically, no, I am NOT the patient. So not a bit discouraged, the young gal proceeds into the room and spies me. Oh, so YOU are the patient, she is obviously really happy to see me. Oh so sorry, I am denying it as well, no, I am NOT the patient, again oh so emphatic.
Finally I have the presence of mind to try to and blurt out where mom is. I don't think she bought it, the little gal looked totally deflated, pretty much turned on her heal and left, and we never laid eyes on her again. I have wondered if she decided to change careers after that scene??
We had a few yucks afterwards about how ridiculous we must have looked and sounded But neither one of us were volunteering for a mastectomy that day. No fools, us.
Mom had a funny moment too when one of the nurses tried to hand her my sister's cane (my sister has a disability) when they were getting mom out of the wheelchair. The nurse looked a bit skeptical when mom "claimed" it was not her cane but her daughter's.
I imagine our room was just about the only one where three goofy ladies were LOL. When the surgeon came in to talk with mom pre surgery, it was time for the Valium. As that same surgeon has done biopsies on my sister and me, I told her we were on the family plan and exactly when were our doses coming? This was after mom had freaked about the red area where the surgical biopsy had been done, I thought she might bail on the whole thing when mom said she wanted to talk to the surgeon BEFORE the dye for the sentinel node deal was administered. So my sister and I both felt the need for a little stress relief. Hell, the doc could have probably used something herself after mom grilled her about whether the redness could cause an infection, etc.
The surgeon assured her it did not matter as that whole area was going to be shall we say history (she said it nicer in doc speak).
The surgeon is cool, also a Disney lover, so I brought her youngest (the princess, apparently) a Disney pin from WDW. She also took three of my home baked cookies in a bag home to her kids. Made me feel good. Heck, I even gave one to Father Paul who came to see mom in the hospital Tuesday (she told him all about her surgery when she did made her confession SAturday night before the surgery). I almost lost (burst out in tears) when he handed her a beautiful cross with a relic from a local very respected deceased priest and prayed a special prayer with her.
When the physical therapist came in with the exercise drill, mom had yet to move much out of bed. She looked old and frail and not very "with it." The therapist however proceeded on and showed her some of the arm stretches. Her eyes were as wide as saucers when mom proceeded to do with hardly any effort. I tried to explain that mom has been a swimmer for years not to mention actually works out on machines twice a week at the gym. She was shall we say impressed.
Mom and I had a few differences on the temperature level both in mom's room at the hospital and at her house when I stayed with her there. The thermostat in the hospital room was not very responsive and it was hotter than Hades so I cranked that baby all the way down. Poor mom, when the nurse got her up the first time to go potty in the middle of the night, she was shivering like a leaf. She thought it was the anesthesia wearing off, I think the real story was that the room must have been about 60 degrees. I felt like a real heel.
Y'all may be surprised but mom was questioning tonight why the plastic did not do a lift on her good side too last week. She is forever amazing me. Maybe she'll go for some lipo? Hell, why not? I mean I was too much of a chicken to ask for lipo, but mom might just do it??
if you've thought it through carefully, try to trust in that and not be swayed by the fears you have today. But with that said, you can always reschedule if you need to. It's a tough decision, and you've had a lot of difficult emotions this year. Keeping you in my prayers. 
That's really cool about your DD helping out and wanting to volunteer again next year. I know what you mean about the "acknowledge" stuff - so far my DDs have not done so in a such public way, but I know if they ever decide to, I will be quite proud of them, so I can just imagine how you must have felt! 
Yay, Maureen! 
~~~***GAGWTA sistas***~~~
His resting is usally in the 90s, still high. NO Dysrhythmia!!! He prescribed a drug to raise his blood pressure (never knew such a drug existed!) so if it works and he stops having these dizzy spells, he will be able to drive again in 6 weeks! Praying and crossing fingers and toes...
I am thinking of you, and I hope the next course of action is successful. 
But I realized in reading it how much she helped me. I mean, I knew it before, but reading her words really brought it home. Wow, just Wow. I am going to have to find her and reconnect. I need to talk to her about this. I have some emotions swirling around about it. I don't know if I'm mad, or sad, or what. 
