Dis Breast Cancer Survivors Part II -GAGWTA!

[NHAnn]

GAGWTA!!! Another MIA sista checking in here. Been crazy here, I do try to check in and read but having a hard time finding posting time.

Laurie, it must be surreal for you. I am keeping your mom in my thoughts and prayers, and you too!! I'm glad your sister is involved....this is really quite a lot on your plate with that as well as two kids leaving for college.

Thinking of you all!!!

 

[snappy]

When it rain it pours. I have heard from two sources today that Tropical storm Faye is headed to New Orleans next.

I need to do some research. No way am I bringing two kids to New Orleans (OK, DS20 is driving himself) with a storm coming. Eery because Katrina came the day college started back in 2005. My neighbor brought her daughter down to Tulane for her freshman year the Saturday before it hit and they just turned everyone back around once they got there since everyone was evacuating.

Sha, are you high and dry down there? That thing is too wet.

 

[Sha]

When it rain it pours. I have heard from two sources today that Tropical storm Faye is headed to New Orleans next.

Sha, are you high and dry down there? That thing is too wet.

Well... its been raining here since 1230 this afternoon... am on a bit more of a higher ground than some areas and am in the house... so I guess we could say yes, am high and dry!!

And yes, she is head back across FL to wherever... she has hit us 3 times if you count the Keys first. She just wont move...

 

[MerryPoppins]

Laurie, I've been thinking of your mom all day. I'll continue to pray. I guess no news of when she'll have the biopsy until after she sees the surgeon? I don't blame you for holding off with the move in. Can you call and see what the school is saying just before it's time to go?

My mom continues to have some health issues. She's getting a second opinion on her back (she has discs missing and vertabrae are bone on bone - first doctor wants to fuse them), needs cataract surgery on both eyes, needs what we're laughingly calling eye lifts (needs some of the excess skin in her eyelids removed because it's impairing her vision) and as of today there's another one on her plate. She went to see her new doctor today. This doctor is very concerned about a spot inside her (ummm, can't say it or it'll get bleeped... "down south" and it starts with a v.) This same spot was biopsied probably 10 years ago and not cancer. Her OBGYN told her not to worry about it after the biopsy. Now this new doctor is very concerned. Mom said she wants another biopsy and says it should have been checked regularly. For the last year my mom has had an active itch that no one could diagnose. This doctor seems to think that's the cause and it might now be cancerous. Great!

The strangest news is that not one OBGYN in our town will take a new patient if she's over 65. My mom was released from her old OBGYN after her hysterectomy and hasn't been back since. It appears that doctors don't want to bother with older ladies due to Medicare, even though some like my mother have secondary insurance. It took most of the afternoon to find someone who would take her. She had to go back to the one who released her, way up in north Oklahoma City and we live way south. Guess we should be glad we found anyone willing to do the biopsy at all. Now we just have to wait a month for an opening.

My dad has been dead for a number of years, so I'm my mom's support system. I'm a nervous wreck. I'm trying not to bleed until we're shot, but part of me really wants to do research online.

 

[jackskellingtonsgirl]

GAGWTA!

Laurie - Good thoughts for you to stay out of the path of the storm!

Merry - I hope everything is OK with your mom! It sounds like she has a lot to deal with right now!

 

[snappy]

Laurie, I've been thinking of your mom all day. I'll continue to pray. I guess no news of when she'll have the biopsy until after she sees the surgeon? I don't blame you for holding off with the move in. Can you call and see what the school is saying just before it's time to go?

My mom continues to have some health issues. She's getting a second opinion on her back (she has discs missing and vertabrae are bone on bone - first doctor wants to fuse them), needs cataract surgery on both eyes, needs what we're laughingly calling eye lifts (needs some of the excess skin in her eyelids removed because it's impairing her vision) and as of today there's another one on her plate. She went to see her new doctor today. This doctor is very concerned about a spot inside her (ummm, can't say it or it'll get bleeped... "down south" and it starts with a v.) This same spot was biopsied probably 10 years ago and not cancer. Her OBGYN told her not to worry about it after the biopsy. Now this new doctor is very concerned. Mom said she wants another biopsy and says it should have been checked regularly. For the last year my mom has had an active itch that no one could diagnose. This doctor seems to think that's the cause and it might now be cancerous. Great!

The strangest news is that not one OBGYN in our town will take a new patient if she's over 65. My mom was released from her old OBGYN after her hysterectomy and hasn't been back since. It appears that doctors don't want to bother with older ladies due to Medicare, even though some like my mother have secondary insurance. It took most of the afternoon to find someone who would take her. She had to go back to the one who released her, way up in north Oklahoma City and we live way south. Guess we should be glad we found anyone willing to do the biopsy at all. Now we just have to wait a month for an opening.

My dad has been dead for a number of years, so I'm my mom's support system. I'm a nervous wreck. I'm trying not to bleed until we're shot, but part of me really wants to do research online.

Merry, I hate that your mom is going through all of this. I also hate to hear about the docs and their avoidance of Medicare patients. That is thankfully not the case here. I never realized how lucky we are on that score.

Are you an only child? Having a support system for the support system is what gets me through. My brother Tom is in New York so we don't see him as much but we are constantly in touch, more so lately. I am not sure how I could cope without my sister and him.

We'll try and be your support system here. I know your mom is lucky to have you navigating the medical issues she is dealing with.

Funny you should mention about not bleeding til you are shot, I was talking about that with my sister and Mom yesterday.

I am shocked how much mom has changed lately. She seemed fine on our July 4th trip although she did get lost in the hotel once right after we checked in but I was on the case and went looking for her. My sister and I think all her symptoms are related to stress, my mom's primary care doc Tuesday asked her if she was depressed, so now that is on her mind. With all the calls about his problems and the requests for more money from my brother in Costa Rica, no wonder the stress is manifesting itself physically. She knows she is enabling him but can't say no when he pleads that she not "abandon" him and even cries. He tells her about every single altercation or issue he has with his wife or his restaurant that failed. I tried to get involved by sending him an email a few months ago(we can't reach him by phone or mail) and he told mom he was receptive to getting back in touch (he still resents us siblings for the intervention we tried to do 3 years ago related to his gambling problem) but he never responded to my email.

We are trying to protect mom from the stress and are getting nowhere. Everyone, counselors, our priest, her friends, everyone is telling her to cut the cord with our brother in Costa Rica. She just can't say no to him. He has manipulated her right into a trap. Having two more grandchildren sealed the deal.

Enough about that. . . We are watching what will happen with the storm. I just wish the timing was different on moving into the dorm and to Mamere's house, but it is what it is. At least we are not flying or driving in from many miles away. It is easier to change our plans on a dime. Those are the parents that I feel for. I would have liked to get everthing ready in that house but I sure don't want himn down there trying to get back to Baton Rouge if there is an evacuation.

Laurie

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Sending prayers for all the Moms!

I think my own mother is going through a grieving process after losing her sister. Life isn't easy for the elderly, is it?

GAGWTA

 

[snappy]

Sending prayers for all the Moms!

I think my own mother is going through a grieving process after losing her sister. Life isn't easy for the elderly, is it?

GAGWTA

Not so easy on the middle aged either, DS20 just had a car accident, not hurt but a lot of damage to his vehicle.

I will be glad when this weekend is over.

Sorry your mom is grieving. You have lost both an aunt and a BIL in a short period of time. That is a tough one.

 

[CherylDan]

GAGWTA!!

Snappy...glad your DS is ok!

Sorry to hear about the problems with Merry's & Snappy's mom, good thoughts and wishes for them. And JSG's mom too, for getting through the remainder of her treatments. Hope she likes her new oncologist-must be hard to change.

DH started his new job this week, lots of stuff going on with that, but he's liking it. We had new insurance forms to fill out and I was VERY plesantly surprised when I got to the life insurance forms. Just a little background on that - DH & I both had term insurance that increased in premium (a lot) so we cancelled it at the renewal time and planned to get new insurance, which was much less. We were literally in the process of filling out the new forms when I got diagnosed. So yeah....no life insurance for me. But imagine my surprise when it says on these new forms that new hires have 31 days to sign up for additional life insurance, beyond what is provided for the employee, for themselves OR family members, with no medical questions! I was able to sign up for $50,000 at a VERY reasonable rate. Never thought I'd see the day. I know $50,000 isn't all that much, but it's a heck of a lot better than none!

And the medical insurance....WOW! We now have insurance that has a $200 deductible. Our old plan was $4,000. Per person. Awful. I had to meet that 3 times. My diagnosis was Nov 06, so the first time only covered the last two months of the year. 07 was another deductible year, and then this year was looking pretty good until I had those test a few weeks ago. I am sooooooo thankful to have good insurance now, even though it's still going to be a long time before I am done making payments on my treatment. At least I wont be adding to the balances anymore!

Hope all you getting soaked are staying safe!

 

[NHAnn]

Laurie and Melissa, I am so sorry about the medical issues and family issues that you and your moms are facing Keeping them and you in my prayers!! Please know your GAGWTA sisters are here for you.....I know I have leaned on you ladies for three years,not just my breast cancer, but the other family/personal stresses and issues.....it's so helpful to have this cyber-support group!!

jsg, that is sad about your mom's onc's son I hope her treatment progresses along smoothly.

Cheryl, great news on the life insurance, that is important!

Thosse of you in the storms path, stay safe and dry....
GAGWTA!!

 

[Aliceacc]

Hi everyone!

I have a question, though technically it's probably off topic.

I have to have a mastectomy in about 2 weeks, though thankfully it's not breast cancer. The mass is just so large that to remove it would mean removing most of the breast.

My question is this: what things should I buy now that I'll need later? I had a surgery on the breast in July and was warned to buy a sports bra. I'm not sure that I got a particularly good one, as I have no idea how to judge them.

But I'm guessing that I'll need some button down shirts, as scrambling into a T shirt will probably be difficult. And that I'll probably have to go up a size because of swelling?

Anything else I can do now?

Thanks for any help, and you guys are, as always, in my prayers.

 

[MerryPoppins]

Are you an only child? Having a support system for the support system is what gets me through.

I have a brother in Tulsa. He's great about coming when he needs to, but his work responsibilities don't allow him to take a lot of time off to help. I understand that. He is good support for me, from behind the scenes.

Yay for new insurance! That is wonderful news.

 

[MerryPoppins]

Alice, shirts that button will be easier to put on, but as long as shirts are roomy enough to get the arm on the surgery side through first and then over your head, you could probably do fine with pull-overs as well. I don't think I particularly needed a larger size, but comfortably baggy is good.

If your dominant arm is on that side, you might want to think about the pants that you wear. I found that pants with elastic in the waist were much easier for me when I went to the bathroom in the days after surgery. But since I had a reduction and both sides were sore, it was still a challenge.

You will probably come home with drains. Some people like to wear something that's easy to hook the drains to. Maybe someone else can speak to that. I can't remember what I did, to be honest.

Yes, you'll want to wear a sports bra. One that fits well before the surgery should be fine for after. I wore elastic bandages for a while. Again, can't remember how long.

Plan ahead. I had a basket with lots of stuff I'd want waiting beside the recliner when I came home from the hospital. It had the remote, a tv guide, a big insulated mug (so when I got a drink it'd last me a while), a pad of paper to keep track of my medicine so I wouldn't forget when I was due for another dose, pens and pencils, a few new magazines, crossword puzzles or sudoku, thank you notes with my address book and stamps, cordless or cell phone, etc. You think about what you might like to have nearby. It saved me a lot of steps.

I also froze some dinners and got the stuff for some easy crockpot meals...the kind you just open cans and toss in a pound of precooked ground beef, etc. That way we didn't have to eat out all the time and I felt productive.

That's all I can think of at the moment. Maybe someone else can join in and give you some more ideas.

 

[lookingforward]

Alice, shirts that button will be easier to put on, but as long as shirts are roomy enough to get the arm on the surgery side through first and then over your head, you could probably do fine with pull-overs as well. I don't think I particularly needed a larger size, but comfortably baggy is good.

If your dominant arm is on that side, you might want to think about the pants that you wear. I found that pants with elastic in the waist were much easier for me when I went to the bathroom in the days after surgery. But since I had a reduction and both sides were sore, it was still a challenge.

You will probably come home with drains. Some people like to wear something that's easy to hook the drains to. Maybe someone else can speak to that. I can't remember what I did, to be honest.

Yes, you'll want to wear a sports bra. One that fits well before the surgery should be fine for after. I wore elastic bandages for a while. Again, can't remember how long.

Plan ahead. I had a basket with lots of stuff I'd want waiting beside the recliner when I came home from the hospital. It had the remote, a tv guide, a big insulated mug (so when I got a drink it'd last me a while), a pad of paper to keep track of my medicine so I wouldn't forget when I was due for another dose, pens and pencils, a few new magazines, crossword puzzles or sudoku, thank you notes with my address book and stamps, cordless or cell phone, etc. You think about what you might like to have nearby. It saved me a lot of steps.

I also froze some dinners and got the stuff for some easy crockpot meals...the kind you just open cans and toss in a pound of precooked ground beef, etc. That way we didn't have to eat out all the time and I felt productive.

That's all I can think of at the moment. Maybe someone else can join in and give you some more ideas.

I loved cotton shirts, they helped me to feel cool and comfortable and it was easy to pin my drain on them. I had to sleep on my back too, for a while, so nice pillows and good quality sheets helped. The first few days my surgeon had me wrapped up with a large ace bandage and the pressure of that felt good. Another thing...take your pain meds BEFORE the pain gets bad. It won't hurt for that long, but while it does hurt...it HURTS.

I have decided to 'do' my other side. I am trying to find a surgeon who will do a subcutaneous mastectomy that will leave my nipple intact. My plastic thinks he might be able to put an immediate implant in at the same time he switches out my expander on the bc side. Which would be super! My oncologist tried to talk me out of it but when I explained how they missed my last tumor until it was 3 cm big and how I don't want to worry about mri's the rest of my life she agreed with me. Its such a personal decision and there are many "right" ways to go.

I am NOT looking forward to being in the hospital again.

 

[CherylDan]

I agree with the button down shirts. Mine was in the winter, so I just wore DH big flannel shirts (soft and comfy). Another thing I loved was a smallish bead filled pillow, oblong shaped. I used it mainly to put between my chest and my arm - I couldn't take my arm rubbing against or even just touching. If you are not having lymph nodes removed, I would guess that the scar will be a bit shorter for you so maybe the arm movement wont be a problem. I never wore a sports bra - but I am very small busted, so it wasn't an issue. I did, however, use the elastic bandages for at least a week, maybe longer. Most of the pain, I thought, came from the drains. I had a bad reaction to them and developed a blister like rash along them. Doc said it was weird. Just be prepared to rest, take it easy, and let people help.

Maureen....glad to hear you have come to a decission that feels right to you! Are you going in soon?

 

[annrae]

I have a brother in Tulsa. He's great about coming when he needs to, but his work responsibilities don't allow him to take a lot of time off to help. I understand that. He is good support for me, from behind the scenes.

Yay for new insurance! That is wonderful news.

Hi Melissa: I hope your Mom will have a good week. It is one of the most difficult situations to watch your parents change so rapidly. We become parents to our parents and at the same time we are parents to our children also. Life is a strange journey!

Hang in there and hopefully everything will improve this week. Barbara

 

[snappy]

I could only manage the type of sports bras that hooked in the front. I liked oversized men's shirts, the pockets were perfect for pinning up the drains to.
I doubled up on the pillows, that seemed to help alot. I used shoulder pads ripped out from the shoulders of some old work clothes to stuff in my bra for a little padding. A real prothesis is too heavy in the first weeks.

Mine was in the summer so I wore shorts with elastic waists. They were loose and easy to manage. You may or may not be able to shower until the drains come out, doctors seemed to differ on that, so be prepared for that. Ask your surgeon anyway. There are washclothes you can buy to wash with, I used a little spray thing on my tub to do my hair.

As for any surgery, watch that the anesthesia and pain meds don't mess up your system. Drink lots of water, eat fruit, etc., and have OTC meds in case of constipation.

The drains can be annoying but they are there to help get rid of all the fluid that suddenly appears when the breast is removed. It is amazing how much is produced, especially if you are, well, well-endowed. The longer they are in, the less likely it will be for the doctor to have to remove excess fluid with a syringe.

Good luck and please let us know how you do.

 

[snappy]

I loved cotton shirts, they helped me to feel cool and comfortable and it was easy to pin my drain on them. I had to sleep on my back too, for a while, so nice pillows and good quality sheets helped. The first few days my surgeon had me wrapped up with a large ace bandage and the pressure of that felt good. Another thing...take your pain meds BEFORE the pain gets bad. It won't hurt for that long, but while it does hurt...it HURTS.

I have decided to 'do' my other side. I am trying to find a surgeon who will do a subcutaneous mastectomy that will leave my nipple intact. My plastic thinks he might be able to put an immediate implant in at the same time he switches out my expander on the bc side. Which would be super! My oncologist tried to talk me out of it but when I explained how they missed my last tumor until it was 3 cm big and how I don't want to worry about mri's the rest of my life she agreed with me. Its such a personal decision and there are many "right" ways to go.

I am NOT looking forward to being in the hospital again.

I am glad you have come to the right decision for you. This will be a prophalactic surgery? At least you do know what to expect. I am hoping this time will be easier since I assume you won't have to do the node removal. That was the worst for me, far more painful that the breast area or even the drains.

Your P.S. sounds like a winner. I hope you have some peace of mid now that you have settled on your plan. I hope you find the right surgeon soon.

 

[snappy]

My goodness I am tired and sad. REally tough to have two offspring off on their own on the same day. It did not hit me until we were completely out of New Orleans that DD18 was really on her own.

It sounds like she and her BF will be back home this weekend.

We are going back to Mamere's to do more cleaning tomorrow. I thought we could finish today but DD18 surprised me and wanted to set everything up and she wanted me to help!!! Then there were parent planned stuff, then a convocation. We were past being able to work when it was over.

I have so many mixed feelings, Tulane seems very nice, I guess it must be harder to let go with a daughter than a son, or maybe it is worrying about her safety. I just have a nagging feeling. Maybe I am just too tired and need to take a long soaking bath and crash.

GAGWTA!!

 

[MerryPoppins]

Laurie. It's hard. I've been there. You can comfort me next year when DD goes, okay?