Dis Breast Cancer Survivors Part II -GAGWTA!

[Pea-n-Me]

NOTHING I can find separates stage II into A and B.

It's in the Dr Susan Love book. I know because I figured mine out myself with the book (IIB). I looked at her website, but there's a warning that the website may harm my computer so I didn't want to risk it. I bet you could find it there (do you have the book at home?) I agree, other sites don't mention A and B before Stage III (that I can see - maybe someone else knows of one). It does look like the clumping of the nodes could bring it up to a III, if that's what it was. It must be frustrating to you not to be there. You can tell you've studied this a lot. What a great daughter you are! Sorry couldn't be more help. I'll see if I can find my Love book (though I never even go near that thing absolutely hated it ).

 

[Pea-n-Me]

http://www.imaginis.com/breasthealth/staging2.asp#numerical

That's it.

 

[jackskellingtonsgirl]

I didn't get a warning on that site. I hope it doesn't make my computer all wonky! I am on my laptop and I don't think the protection on it is as good as what we have on the desktop.

I don't know what to make of it. I guess I'll see if anyone mentions HOW MANY nodes we're dealing with or anything else that would help me distinguish between II & III.

Her plan for chemo is "whatever the oncologist says", so I have a bit of work to do in that arena.

 

[snappy]

I had 2 positive nodes out of 12. My surgeon originally thought it was one, but they were actually two small nodes stuck together. My BC then went from Stage 1 to Stage 2 (still considered early), but Grade 3 (aggressive).

Any news yet on that scan, Dawn?

 

[snappy]

I didn't get a warning on that site. I hope it doesn't make my computer all wonky! I am on my laptop and I don't think the protection on it is as good as what we have on the desktop.

I don't know what to make of it. I guess I'll see if anyone mentions HOW MANY nodes we're dealing with or anything else that would help me distinguish between II & III.

Her plan for chemo is "whatever the oncologist says", so I have a bit of work to do in that arena.

Isn't Linda a gem for finding all those sites?

The Susan Love book is a good resource, albeit a bit scary of a read. I bought it when I was diagnosed but it is also in the library. I would aoffer to send you mine but I do refer to it sometimes. There was also copies of it in my local Cancer Services lending library.

I am sure Thursday can't come soon enough for you. Please see if you can get to a computer (or have your laptop with you?) so we can find out how you find your mom when you get over there.

She will need to have that drain pulled, maybe you will be there when she goes in for that and can talk to the doctor then?

Hope the D&C path reports comes out clean.

 

[snappy]

I know I don't post on here very often , but I am at such a loss right now I don't know what to do. My story for anyone not familiar,I was dx'd in Sept.2007, Finished chemo. Feb.28,2008, finished radiation May 12,2008. I am currently on herceptin every 3 weeks until November 2008 and I have started tamoxifen. I am married with 2 daughters 12 and 9.
Last week my Husband tells me he is not happy and wants a seperation. He says he loves my but loves my like a sister. I just can't understand this, he has been so suppourtive through the whole cancer thing. He says there is no one else ,and call me crazy ,but I do believe him. He is telling me now he wants a seperation because he wants to find someone else. He wants to find passion. I think I am handeling this harder than the cancer, I can't stop crying. the Girls know nothing yet. their dance show is this weekend. I have finally convinced him we need to at least seek some marriage counceling before he can make a descion like this. Has anyone have any experience with marriage counceling ? I know it may sound silly but can they help bring back the passion in a marriage? We have been married for 14 years and together for 19 total. I don't want to give up on us. This has been such a shock I did not see it coming at all.

I am afraid I too have no experience with marriage counseling.

It sounds like your husband is searching in that he sort of changed his story from last week till now.

Do you have someone you can consult with at church?

Not sure how much help this will be but there is a share ring teleconference tonight. Here's the info I received in an email.

Dear Laurie,
This is a reminder that the ShareRing Network teleconference is this Wednesday.

Phone number: 1-800-593-9038
Password: 21340

"Maintaining and Regaining Intimacy"
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
7 p.m. CDT (8 p.m. EDT, 6 p.m. MDT, 5 p.m. PDT)

Speaker: Emily Harrell, M.S.M.F.T., L.P.C
The Berman Center
Chicago, Ill.

I have participated in these teleconferences previously and they are good.

 

[snappy]

My beautiful mother had a stroke last night and is not going to survive. Hospice is going to take her breathing tube out tomorrow at 2 p.m.. She would not have wanted to live in a vegatative state. She went with me to every chemo and was my best friend. I am doubled over in pain...I don't know if I will make it. I can't concieve of life without her. She is not in pain, she is not aware. I brought her dinner last night at the hospital and we had a great visit. One hour after I left she had a devastating stroke and they tried to remove it in surgery but it was too large. She was a nurse, my father's wife of 50 years, the best mother I could hope for and a wonderful grandmother to five. She was my role model and my confidante. I am dying inside. Hug your loved ones extra tight and pray that she is at peace with God.

Wondering how you are doing, Maureen. Please know I have been thinking of you.

Laurie

 

[snappy]

Prayers for mom.


I just heard from the doc and she said "there is a suspicious solid mass that must be biopsied" so she is making an appt with a surgeon. My heart just dropped. I am trying really hard not to panic but it is hard.

Thinking of you as well.

Is the biopsy scheduled?

 

[Iluvthemouse]

Thinking of you as well.

Is the biopsy scheduled?

Thank you for the thoughts.

I am so torn up right now. We are supposed to be driving to NY tomorrow until Saturday to visit a very good/old friend. I still havent told DH anything because he worries more than me (if that is even possible). My consult appt with the surgeon is Monday June 23 at 4:30 and then we are supposed to be on our way for our family vacation to Mexico the next morning. I am so confused on what to do. I am making myself sick both gagging and diarrhea over the whole mess. I dont know what to do.
Right now my problem is I want to take the family vacation because I dont know if I will ever be able to take another one and I want DH and DD to have a good time and memories.KWIM?

 

[snappy]

Oh my, I am worried about you.

I remember being in nearly the same quandry in 2004. I had my biopsy 2 days before DD12's first communion. I did not tell her about what was going on but she overheard a few days later when I was talking over the phone. I think she was tuned it because both DH and I were acting so stressed and on the phone so much.

That was not a great way to let someone know, especially a child.

I also agonized during DD18's 8th grade reunion activities a few days later. At that point only family knew, I was trying to keep it a secret from everyone else.

The secret stuff made it all harder.

I really think you should think more about sharing this with your husband.

Your timing is even trickier with the trips planned. I asked my surgeon if I could take a trip to WDW right before the surgery and the answer was yes. I just could not postpone things more than a month from diagnosis.

I think the family vacation going forward is a very good idea. You will worry but you will still enjoy being with your family.

I wish you could get in to see that surgeon before the 23rd. Can you call back and find out if they can see you earlier in light of the upcoming trip?
It does not hurt to ask, and maybe someone will cancel in the meantime.

Hang in there, girl. I hate to see you carrying this burden of the unknown by yourself.

Praying for you.

I need to get off to work, but let us know how you are doing.

 

[Iluvthemouse]

I just called the office and actually the breast surgeon is on vacation this week (her hubby owns a travel agency) that is why they got me in on June 23. Now I am worried because they wanted to get me in pronto. OMG, I am worried about everything arent I? The appt Monday is a consult and I assume to schedule the biopsy. My trip is for the next 8 days. I dont see how 8 days will make a difference health wise but I dont know how I can play the "everything is fine" game during that trip. The thought is making me ill.

 

[snappy]

I just called the office and actually the breast surgeon is on vacation this week (her hubby owns a travel agency) that is why they got me in on June 23. Now I am worried because they wanted to get me in pronto. OMG, I am worried about everything arent I? The appt Monday is a consult and I assume to schedule the biopsy. My trip is for the next 8 days. I dont see how 8 days will make a difference health wise but I dont know how I can play the "everything is fine" game during that trip. The thought is making me ill.

It is quite understandable to be worried about everything. All you can do is keep that appointment and you should know more then. Do you have your films to bring the surgeon on Monday?

I think it will very difficult to act like everything is fine during that trip. Your husband if he is in on this development would be a good source for private discussion with you during the trip. I am sure you will have some alone moments.

I think you have done all you can for now except share with your husband.

If you want to explore that further, I'll be here later.

Laurie

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Thank you for the thoughts.

I am so torn up right now. We are supposed to be driving to NY tomorrow until Saturday to visit a very good/old friend. I still havent told DH anything because he worries more than me (if that is even possible). My consult appt with the surgeon is Monday June 23 at 4:30 and then we are supposed to be on our way for our family vacation to Mexico the next morning. I am so confused on what to do. I am making myself sick both gagging and diarrhea over the whole mess. I dont know what to do.
Right now my problem is I want to take the family vacation because I dont know if I will ever be able to take another one and I want DH and DD to have a good time and memories.KWIM?

You have to share it with your husband. This is not something to go through alone. He will probably surprise you. Then you will have a united front, and you will probably feel better. You can draw on his strength. Just think - how would you feel if he kept something like this from you?

I can assure you, that even if you have cancer, you will have many, many more vacations to come. Look at us!! (So enjoy your trip, but don't worry this might be your last, OK?)

 

[Denine]

Iluvthemouse: Hang in there. You really need to tell your DH. You can't keep it bottled up. You need someone you can talk to. I hope everything goes well on the 23rd.

jsg: Glad to hear your mom made it through and seems to be doing well post-op. It must be killing you not know all the details from the horses mouth. You will find out more tomorrow when you get there.

I guess I really need to call the OB/GYN about getting a repeat mammo in 3 months. For some reason, I just want to put it off and forget about it. At the same time, I know I need to be proactive. It is hard, even for us nurses!

I had the Susan Love book and I just returned it to the library.

Prayers and pixie dust to all.

 

[sissybells]

I didn't know where else to post this. I have also been trying to find any info online about it and can't seem to find out what I need. What are some items that can really help out after a mastectomy surgery? I wanted to make some sort of care package. I will also be staying with my Mom after her surgery and cooking some meals. Is there anything I should know about food? Are some things better to eat after surgery? Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

 

[snappy]

I can't think of any things strictly medically helpful after a mastectomy.

She will need loose shirts/night clothes that button in the front.

As far as comfort things, I appreciated music CD's as even after surgery it seemed I had a lot of doctor visits until the drains finally came out. A supply of stationery and cards along with postage stamps is helpful. I had a basket on my night table big enough to hold my CD player and tv remotes, a pack of cough drops, hand lotion, soothing body lotion, a notebook and pen to keep the drain journal in and make lists, etc.

I also appreciated several of the books friends gave me. Books I probably would not have chosen myself (nothing to do with cancer).

The best thing I had was having someone to be with and cook meals for the family, which it sounds like you have covered. Not to mention someone to take me to appointments, help occupy my mind in the waiting room and support me when in with the docs, and take me out to eat afterward. Good for you for being there for your mom.

I think this is far and away the best "gift" you can give a survivor.

My husband's coworkers did a schedule and sent large portions of food they had prepared for several weeks. There was a lot of leftovers to freeze so it carried us for awhile.

Another crucial thing after a mastectomy especially when you have lymph node removal is getting that arm back in motion. At the hospital they gave me a neat wooden dowel thing to use in the arm exercises. It was very beautifully painted by the members of a sorority group as a service project I guess. I used the heck out of that thing and really loved it (still have it).

I am sure others will chime in with additional ideas.

Good luck to your mom. When is her surgery scheduled?

 

[jackskellingtonsgirl]

Isn't Linda a gem for finding all those sites?

The Susan Love book is a good resource, albeit a bit scary of a read. I bought it when I was diagnosed but it is also in the library. I would aoffer to send you mine but I do refer to it sometimes. There was also copies of it in my local Cancer Services lending library.

I am sure Thursday can't come soon enough for you. Please see if you can get to a computer (or have your laptop with you?) so we can find out how you find your mom when you get over there.

She will need to have that drain pulled, maybe you will be there when she goes in for that and can talk to the doctor then?

Hope the D&C path reports comes out clean.

Darn! I was at the library earlier! But with DS12 and the little 2yo girl I nanny it is difficult to accomplish anything for myself at the library. I managed to grab a book for the plane. I hope it's good.
I am not bringing my laptop because Mom doesn't have wireless access and I don't have the cord to plug the laptop into a router. We didn't buy one because we have wireless at home, and from what I understand the hotels at WDW have the cord I will need. Mom has a computer. It is slow as molasses, but I can post from it!
Mom said she would call me when she got home today. I still haven't heard from her. My aunt said they plan to leave the drain for a week, so if they pull it Monday I can go with her.

Thank you for the thoughts.

I am so torn up right now. We are supposed to be driving to NY tomorrow until Saturday to visit a very good/old friend. I still havent told DH anything because he worries more than me (if that is even possible). My consult appt with the surgeon is Monday June 23 at 4:30 and then we are supposed to be on our way for our family vacation to Mexico the next morning. I am so confused on what to do. I am making myself sick both gagging and diarrhea over the whole mess. I dont know what to do.
Right now my problem is I want to take the family vacation because I dont know if I will ever be able to take another one and I want DH and DD to have a good time and memories.KWIM?

Please tell your DH! I can not imagine carrying around a worry like that without telling my DH. For better and for worse, sickness and health, and all that sort of thing. Talk with your DH, go on your vacation, and try not to worry! I know that's silly to say, because anyone would be worried, but one of the other ladies told me a few pages back that "all the worry in the world will not change the outcome". Try to enjoy your vacation, and deal with the rest when you get back!

I am terrified of my mom having chemo, and I will worry every single day from now until it is over. But worrying won't make any difference. Either she will be fine or she won't, and me worrying about it will just be wasted energy. The waiting has been maddening for me. Biopsy. Wait for results. Wait for the oncology visit. Wait for the follow-up. Wait for more scans and tests. Wait for results. Wait for surgical consult. Wait for the surgery. Wait for news from the surgery. Wait a MONTH for her to see the oncologist again. Patience is obviously a really useful commodity here, because NOTHING seems to move expeditiously. I am still worrying, and it is still not making any difference. Maybe one day I will master this "not worrying" thing!

 

[sissybells]

Thank you so much. Those are all really good ideas. Her surgery is on July the 2nd. I'm trying to get everything together I can before then to be prepared. I really appreciate all of the suggestions I wouldn't have thought of most of it. She is already an 18 year survivor from her left breast but now it popped up in her right one. She has had one mastectomy but it was so long ago and we were all alot younger so I can't remember things she would need. She is looking forward to getting this surgery done and behind her. She is really looking forward to our family trip to the World in September. She is really positive right now. I hope everything goes really smooth and she gets better fast. Thank you again for all the ideas. I'm not saying that the trip has anything to do with her getting better, it's just the thing she is using I guess to keep her head in a nice place.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Stepdaddy, thank you so much for being there for your Mom. What a great son!

I didn't have a mastectomy but I knew that those who did would pipe in. Snappy has offered a lot of good ideas.

I wanted to let you (and others) know that I discovered this place recently not too far from where I live. They have beautiful, thoughtful baskets (I saw them), and will ship wherever (coupon in link), if you're interested.

http://www.aliscancercottage.com/

http://www.wickedlocal.com/plymouth/archive/x1909896685

 

[snappy]

Thank you so much. Those are all really good ideas. Her surgery is on July the 2nd. I'm trying to get everything together I can before then to be prepared. I really appreciate all of the suggestions I wouldn't have thought of most of it. She is already an 18 year survivor from her left breast but now it popped up in her right one. She has had one mastectomy but it was so long ago and we were all alot younger so I can't remember things she would need. She is looking forward to getting this surgery done and behind her. She is really looking forward to our family trip to the World in September. She is really positive right now. I hope everything goes really smooth and she gets better fast. Thank you again for all the ideas. I'm not saying that the trip has anything to do with her getting better, it's just the thing she is using I guess to keep her head in a nice place.

Hey, a lot of us here use our trips to help us make it through the night so to speak.

WDW is what I call "my happy place." I get some strange looks when I say this but guess what I don't care. Maybe why I love splash mountain so much.

I think a trip with the family in September might be just what the doctor ordered. Love those short lines in September (I have been early in September as well as late). A bit muggy, but hey I live in south Louisiana, I have webbed feet anyways.