Dilemma

[freakylick]

Another possible angle to play is this:
Tell her that you love your neice and want the best for her. Right now, your sister needs to focus on getting a job and making money to raise her child. Being frivolous and giving herself a vacation is only doing harm to the welfare of the child.

 

[VSL]

EthansMom said exactly what I wanted to say (and more) perfectly

Please let us know how it went!

 

[EsmeraldaX]

Help! I've been planning a trip to WDW for next month since March. At the last minute my sister decides she wants to go. She has no job, no money (except a credit card that she is anticipating anyday now with a $200 limit). To top it off, she's bringing her soon to be 10-month old with us. Now, I have a room reserved at Pop Century for me and my two friends (one who's never been to WDW). It's already going to be an extra $10 per day for that extra adult and with my sister coming, that will be an extra $30 that she doesn't have (nor what I want to spend). My friends and I were planning to hit all four parks with MYW hopper tickets totalling $164 each (I have an AP). How do I explain to my sister (without getting her angry) that she can't go? It's not like she has extra money in the bank and she plans to max out that new credit card - which is a bad idea in itself. She cannot possibly afford to buy tickets for the days we'll be park hopping, pay $30 for her share of the room, and have money for food. It will also be hot in July and a baby will put a halt to our mobility. She also has a history of bailing out on paying her share of expenses when we go anywhere requiring an overnight stay or paying for entrance to a park. I love my little neice and would love for her to be there, and if my sister had the money to go without causing me any extra expenses it would be no problem at all. I'm not a Scrooge, I just don't have the extra cash and I don't like to be used. What do I say?

You say "No".

I say who cares if she gets angry. She sounds like an incredibly irresponsible person and tough for her if she can't take no for an answer. You and your friends saved for this trip and have your plans and she is being very rude to invite herself and her infant along.

The fact of the matter is she is an adult, a mother with a child and she needs to grow up and learn to be responsible. Having no job and no money, she is in no position to be going to WDW on a trip with you or anyone else. Vacations are something most of us save for. She has a baby to feed. How is she feeding the baby when she has no cash? Was she planning to max the $200 credit card?! Geesh!

Tell her no. Tell her you are very sorry but your plans are made and you have an itinerary you plan to follow. Tell her once she gets into the financial shape that she can pay for the trip up front, you'd be happy to take a trip with her and your niece but that this trip is already set. If she can't deal with that, she is the one with the problem.

 

[doubletrouble_vb]

Tell her "No". Tell her no for all the reasons people listed her and you need to tell her NO for yourself. She won't quit taking advantage of you until you do say NO...better for it to happen over something trivial like Disney World than something big like a car, or for a loan you make to her, or a cell phone bill, or a loan that you co-sign for her that she fails to pay.

One suggestion. Before you tell her NO run your stance by your friends. If they back you up on the NO you'll be much more likely to stick to your guns when you talk to her.

Also...lets say she finds a source of funds for the trip... I PROMISE you that you will find yourself babysitting rather than out enjoying yourself. She will find a way to use you further one way or another.

PS. I wouldn't soften it at all. Everything you might say to soften it gives her wiggle room to finagle her way in.

 

[The Disney Bunch]

Who invited her? I would tell her no - she wasn't invited - This was a trip for you and your friends - there isn't room for her and her baby.

 

[Jamie77]

Thanks everybody for the replies. Though my friends were more than okay for her and the baby coming along, I had the misgivings. Turns out that I didn't have to say anything at all. When I got home on Monday, she showed me her credit card. Then she told me she didn't want to go again. I guess actually having the credit card made her realize that she didn't want to blow it all on a trip to Disney. I guess I didn't really make myself clear in describing what was going on. She wasn't manipulative at all (which is the way it usually is for other things). I guess what I told her a few days before must have made sense. I told her that since we're going on a cruise in December, she might want to wait and get a job first so that if she does use the card before then, she can pay it off and also be able to pay for the cruise. But in case this situation should occur again in the future and she actually tries to manipulate me into paying her way, I can look back at the advice you guys offered.

Double trouble: I've experienced the cell phone thing with her, too. We were all on the family plan 3 years ago and our bill altogether would be $300-500 a month, of which $250-300 would be hers alone. Incidentally, we were going to WDW that month and I got stiffed for the tix to pay for her and my family (the rule was: either we all get in, or no one gets in). Well, that was my first trip to Disney and I had been waiting for nearly twenty years just for that. So though I was angry about it, I wasn't going to let that prevent me from experiencing Disney. But you can bet your bottom dollar that I don't plan trips with my family anymore!

Jamie