Dilemma, What should I do?

[shelleyz]

Ok heres my situatuion, I have 2 studios booked for August for me, neice and my 2 sons. Room 2 is for BIL and SIL and their 2 sons. Have a 2 bedroom booked for December for myself, DH and our 2 boys and our friends(married couple) and their 2 daughters(4 and 1 when we go). Our neice who's 12 is also friends with our friends and she is at there house this weekend. My friend called last night and asked if my neice could go on our December trip. I told her yeah I guess so but then I wont be taking her in August and neice said thats ok. So heres my dilemma we could all fit in the 2 bedroom because of the baby but if I cancelled my August trip we could stay in a Grand Villa. Problem is my SIL is really set on going even though she can't really afford it. I was giving her the studio for free. I think she will be really mad but, I can save money by only going once this year. We were going to be flying both times(nothing booked yet)so I would save money on that and on food cost for the trip. Also my SIL owes us about 3 grand so I think she should be paying us before paying for her August trip. What should I do? What would you do?

 

[dianeschlicht]

Way too much family stuff it this situation for anyone who is a stranger to do any reccommending, but suffice it to say I think it would be more than tacky to "uninvite" someone.

 

[KelNottAt]

Way too much family stuff it this situation for anyone who is a stranger to do any reccommending, but suffice it to say I think it would be more than tacky to "uninvite" someone.

I have to agree wholeheartedly. This has the potential to be a bitter battle on many many levels, so that's all I'll say.

 

[FreeTime]

I have complained many times on this board about how I invited family and then they owe us money, can't afford to go, etc. The best advice that I can give you for the future, is be very careful about who you invite.

Can you tell the niece she needs to go on the summer trip and explain to everyone else that it is better for her to go then? Then you will have 2 trips still and everyone will get to go.

 

[Deb & Bill]

Also, you may need to think about the possibility of getting that GV in Dec. Might not be available.

Finally, if you wanted to get that 3 Grand from the SIL, maybe you should have asked for that before you invited them to Disney.

 

[shelleyz]

diane, I actually agree that it would be tacky to uninvite them thats why I was having a problem deciding what to do.
FreeTime, I will be careful about who I invite in the future. Also I think I would rather neice go in August. I am up in the air about it. Not even sure if her dad will let her go in December seeing we are going during school.
Deb&Bill I figured the grand villa might not be available. We are going Dec 1-10.
I know I should have asked for the money first before I invited them. I have a hard time confonting people. She is "supposed" to be paying me some with income tax money. I need to talk to her about when she will have me paid off.

Think I will keep to my original plans and go twice and have a good time. Not sure on what I will do with neice yet.

 

[Sherri]

It sounds like your sister in law can use the magic of a Disney trip if she is struggling financially.
I on the otherhand can totally relate. My sister in law owes us $2000.00 that she borrowed from us two years ago to get her electric turned on.
She has owed us money in the past and has always made payments to pay what she could without getting herself in the hole again.
We consider ourselves lucky to have been in the position to have been able to lend the money. I just remind myself that I would rather be the lender then the borrower. I admit that sometimes It gets the better of me.
She will have a lot of expense with her tickets and food and all that good Disney stuff, maybe when she is done saving for that and destressing at Disney she will start paying you back.
I bet she is really looking forward to this trip and it probably helps get her through rough days by looking forward to it.
You are doing a good deed. You are lucky to have been in the position to do that.

 

[shelleyz]

Sherri, thank you. I didn't really think of it that way. Makes me feel a little better.

 

[dianeschlicht]

FYI, we did a similar thing for a friend a few years ago. She was facing a divorce, had no job and nowhere to live. We invited her and her 14 YO son to join us for 5 days at Disney. We paid for everything except their tickets and transportation. They really needed that vacation, and they still paid us back for the money we had lent them a few months previous....it just took them awhile.

 

[Sherri]

It has to be really hard to be down and out and have to depend on people for things that you wish as an adult you could provide for yourself and for your family. But kindness by others can be just what is needed for people to keep going. Believe me, I sometimes get in my spoiled selfish mode, but it usually doesn't take me too long to put things back in perspective.
Then I feel guilty for the things that I have thought. Then I try to be a better person and take inventory of all the good in my life.

 

[DeeDeeDis]

ShelleZ

Loaning your SIL money was very kind of you. Whenever I have had the funds to loan money to friends and/or family I have done this with the believe that I will never see this money again, if i'm paid back - i'm always pleasantly surprised. (this doesn't help you now but maybe in the future).

You obviously must have thought that your sil needed a visit "to the happiest place on earth" or you would not have invited her without first being paid back.

I think your Friend is the one who put you on the spot, not your sil. I'd stick with the original plan. Sit down with your niece and tell her she is welcomed to come with you but it will have to be on the August trip. Then i'd call your friend and let her know that, you got kind of caught up in her excited about your neice, and that after having time to think about it, your neice coming in Dec will not work for you. so you are telling her no.

Good luck - and have TWO GREAT vacations