Did you ever go through a phase in your life?

[Tiggeroo]

I went through a fairly religious phase in my life. I left the Catholic Church and our family went to a slightly fundamentalist Christian Church. I still believe the tenets of that faith but not 15 years later I am not so dogmatic about it. During this time I made a few decisions I regret. Not big things, I just wish I had been more easy going about some things.
I have also been through a crafting phase and a super parent phase (sort of. I homeschooled during this time)
It's a case of now a slightly older wiser me is more even headed about things. I found out a dear family member went through a rough time when I was more conservative and didn't ask for my help. I believe I would have been compassionate and helpful but not as much as now. The now me would probably have raised my kids differently then the me 15 years ago as well.

 

[DVC~OKW~96]

I went through a fairly religious phase in my life. I left the Catholic Church and our family went to a slightly fundamentalist Christian Church. I still believe the tenets of that faith but not 15 years later I am not so dogmatic about it. During this time I made a few decisions I regret. Not big things, I just wish I had been more easy going about some things.
I have also been through a crafting phase and a super parent phase (sort of. I homeschooled during this time)
It's a case of now a slightly older wiser me is more even headed about things. I found out a dear family member went through a rough time when I was more conservative and didn't ask for my help. I believe I would have been compassionate and helpful but not as much as now. The now me would probably have raised my kids differently then the me 15 years ago as well.

Of course! I believe everyone goes through "phases" as you call them. They are the experiences in life that help form who we are at any given time.

I believe the key to it all is not regretting those past decisions, actions, etc. No matter what they are or were, you did the best you could with what you had at the time, whether it was emotional state, resources, understanding of life, or any other thing.

 

[LuvOrlando]

It sounds to me like you are being really hard on yourself. All of us are flawed, that's how we were designed. Some of us are self aware enough to see when we zigged and should have zagged, and others can't... for starters I think you might want to consider how lucky you are to be in the first group because that means you are improving with age. Few people can accept mistakes and fewer still can admit they are wrong enough to actually change their paths. Also, IMO, whatever choices you made were probably the best ones for you at the time. I think its hard when we look back, to remember all the good that came from our choices. Instead we tend to dwell on our shortcomings, which leads me back to being too hard on yourself. Try to consider all the good that may have come out of your selections. Just like you didn't know all the negative consequences of your behaviors you also do not know all the positive consequences of your behaviors. Did you avoid divorce, did you volunteer, did you're kids stay out of trouble, did you make some new friends, did your behavior keep a friend on the straight and narrow? Truth is you may never know all the answers but trust that there was a reason for why you did what you did when you did it