Did you change your last name when you got married?

[Laura]

I hyphenated. Glad I did it. DD has my hyphenated name. Some names don't hyphenate well, so I wouldn't recommend it for everyone. My hyphenated last name is still shorter and easier to pronounce than Roethlisberger, so I'm good. Sometimes people get confused when I say my last name, but if I spell it and tell them it's hyphenated, they get it.

Changing one's last name is TOTALLY a PERSONAL decision, and there are a lot of factors that come into play. I have a friend who was delighted to change her name from Smith to her husband's last name because she thought she was kinda anonymous as a Smith. Another friend would never ever ever consider changing her name if she marries. She changed to her mother's maiden name after her evil dad divorced her mom, and wants her last name to stay what it is.

Don't change your name because family wants you to, and don't keep it because you have other people pressure you to "keep your identity" or whatever. This is YOUR name, it's YOUR decision.

 

[SydSim]

Don't change your name because family wants you to, and don't keep it because you have other people pressure you to "keep your identity" or whatever. This is YOUR name, it's YOUR decision.

Wonderfully said.

 

[GingerJay]

Surfergirl 602...

Is that ARIEL kissing CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW in your avatar?!

Shame on her

 

[mickeymedic]

I changed my name an I couldn't wait to do it. My maiden name is German and 13 letters long. I always said I would only marry someone named Smith, Jones or Adams.

Hey, that's my line! I had a long Polish last name. I looked forward to the day when I would neither have to pronounce or spell my last name for anyone. I tease my husband that I married him for his last name.

 

[ma2jr]

Don't change your name because family wants you to, and don't keep it because you have other people pressure you to "keep your identity" or whatever. This is YOUR name, it's YOUR decision.

 

[jodifla]

I would say KEEP your maiden name. OR take your husband's name. DON"T do the double last name or hyphen thing. It has caused me continual problems.

I wanted to keep my maiden name, DH really wanted me to take his name. Our compromise is that I have a double last name (it is NOT hyphenated) MINE HIS with a space between. When I was working I used both last names, and I still sign important papers with my full name. But most people now know me with just my husband's last name.

The problem - getting my full legal correct name on documents and credit/cash cards. I have quit using my middle initial to save space and still have to fight seemingly everyone. Many companies have a finite limit on the number of characters in a name field, many are 20, or limit the last name to 12. my name without a middle initial is 21 characters, and my last name is 15. I have cancelled a credit card account because they couldn't get my name listed on the card correctly. Seems like a small thing, but it's not to me.

I am at the mercy of office staff everywhere to list my name correctly. It doesn't always happen - sometimes they don't "get" what I tell them, sometimes it's the underlying computer program that is the issue. The DMV computer automatically puts a hyphen in my last name every time I renew my license, and I have to ask for a corrected license before I leave the building. every time. I've had car titles with my last names reversed, and my new favorite - junk mail that uses one of my last names as a first name with my middle initial and then my other last name.

My kids have my husband's last name - and only his. I have had such bad experiences with a combo name that I would never do this to my kids in a million years. And imagine when 2 people both with double last names decide to marry - which of the 4 last names do you combine and keep - or pass on to the next generation? So my advice at the top stands - KEEP your last name OR change it, but no combos. If I had to do it all again, I would keep my maiden name.

Good post. The hyphenating thing can be really difficult. I have one friend who hyphenated, and she never knows what they are going to file her name under -- the first letter, or the first letter after the hyphen.

For us, I was glad we were on the same page with everything. Giving my son my last name as his middle name also solved the problem of IDing him as my son. As soon as you see my name, and his middle name, you know we are related.

 

[remyandhollandsmommy]

I just got married last Wed and plan to change my name...already started the process actually. It was a hard decision though since the girls still have their father's last name, but after everything I went throught with the ex I don't particularly WANT to keep his last name. I feel bad since DH, Koi and I will have a different last name than Remy and Holly...maybe they will change theirs later in life..they already asked if they could but I don't think the courts or the ex will go for it until they are older.

Plus DH would have been disapointed if I didn't take his name lol.

 

[Ember]

I kept my name. There was never even a question about me changing it. The issue of having a family name was discussed, but we both decided he would take my name. (He may still do it if we ever have kids.)

I would not have married a man who had issues with me keeping my own name. The judgments my DH has faced when people find out he may take my name have been pretty eye opening. There is a definite power issue at play, whether people like to admit it or not with the issue of last names. My personal opinion that any man who feels it would make him less of a man (person) to take his wife's name has issues, because it follows that therefore a woman changing her name also makes her less of a person. It a very subtle sexism.

 

[KPeveler]

my wife and i have debate my taking her name. I might still do it - right now i am in school, and changing my name is a nightmare with financial aid.

i know i will change it, though, or we will take a new name in common, for a variety of reasons. my family does not approve of my marriage, so i feel no attachment to it... i am disabled with chronic health problems, and it is hard enough getting hospitals to let my wife in to see me. hopefully if they dont think she is my wife, they will think she is my sister! also, my kids are going to have enough troubles without having moms with two different names...

but, yeah, the paperwork sucks!