Did I handle this right???

twinmomplus2new

DIS Veteran
Joined
Jan 27, 2004
Messages
1,783
Ok a little dilemma here..... A friend of mine and neighbor... who lives right across the street..... Called me last week while I was in Florida and asked me to dinner, I was traveling with my old BF with whom I am sort of back to together. This neighbor knew I was traveling with BF and that BF was here 2 weeks ago. (So it is no surprise.) I am very friendly with this neighbor was so even when i was married and consider him a friend.
He caught me off guard when he asked me to dinner, I kind of stammered and said I guess so as long as it doesn't make things weird between us. He said no way, whats wrong with friends having dinner? Ok..... day I arrive home he calls me times is very aggressive, Lets go out now....I won't take no for an answer.... Come on outside and we will talk? Huh? what? I was very uncomfortable very fast. So fast forward one day.... I have along talk with my brother about it. And he says, If he is stalker creepy and he knows your seeing someone... do not even go there. SOOOO I like a chicken left a message that I really was seeing someone and did not feel right about going out even as friends, That it fealt dishonest and that I hoped he wasn't angry with me, but I just couldn't do it. Well he is not talking to me. Is quite pissed in fact. Am I wrong here?
 
I think he liked you, and is scared that he has lost you to your old BF who you seem to be back with. He probably regrets that he did not ask you out sooner.

As long as he does not continue to bother you, I'd let it go. However, if he does it again, I would be very firm with him and tell him you are seeing someone and don't feel right about seeing male friends for dinner.
 
No, you don't have to do anything you don't want to do.
 

You did the right thing and as I see it you told the absolute truth. You are seeing someone and you do feel uncomfortable going out to dinner with him. Those are absolutely valid reasons no to. You don't have to mention the part where he's acting really creepy and aggressive! If he's not talking to you right now, I think that's probably a good thing.

If he really is just jealous, hopefully he'll find a better way to communicate his interest than acting like a jerk.
 
Originally posted by EsmeraldaX
I think he liked you, and is scared that he has lost you to your old BF who you seem to be back with. He probably regrets that he did not ask you out sooner.

As long as he does not continue to bother you, I'd let it go. However, if he does it again, I would be very firm with him and tell him you are seeing someone and don't feel right about seeing male friends for dinner.


What she said! Just be pleasant if you see him out, but I think you are right to keep distance!
 
What Esmerelda said. Is actually close to what he said. Only He said he was waiting for long enough to be respectful after my dh and I had split. And the next thing him knew I was seeing someone. And since he had already waited 7 years it threw him for a loop. That in itself was more creepy than flattering. In the last 7 years I have been very friendly with him and had 2 children with my dh. So I thought that was kind of odd.

Anyway....... I guess I had better just ride it out, hopefully he will get past it.
 












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