DH driving us crazy with Wedding Plans

[poochie]

Well, DD and myself with going thru lots of brochures regarding halls for the wedding reception. She mentioned that she would like a certain amount of time between the ceremony and the reception so they could do pictures at Niagara Falls. My DH chirps in "People hate that there is so much time between, after all the wedding is not about the Bride and Groom"!

They he proceeds to tell her that a 20 minute ceremony is best as people do not want to sit in church. Just do vow exchange and end it. Then he proceeds to keep repeating that was all ours was. He must have repeated this about 4 or 5 times last night.

Yet he keeps stating just decide where and when, he is not interested in details yet keeps making statements that are upsetting to DD.

Looks as though this is going to be a long, painful process

 

[we3disneygo]

 

[Mercy]

Geesh... I feel for you, "Hold on to your hat fellas, it's gonna be a bumpy ride".

However, I do somewhat agree with your DH regarding the time between the wedding and the ceremony. I think that should be kept to least time needed to have pics taken, etc. I think it is annoying to wait "forever" for the bride and groom to arrive at the reception, since nothing really starts till they arrive.

 

[T16GEM]

Just remember that the day is ALL ABOUT the Bride and Groom not just the ceremony! Goodness me!

I am a planner and I would agree about the time between the ceremony and the reception, people don't really like to hang around but we find that a good selection of drinks and a few nibbley canapes can keep people chilled out until the bridal party arrives. Many people go for a 45 minute ceremony and then a couple of hours for photos etc - these things take time - and afterall DD will only do it once (hopefully) and it takes time to achieve perfection!
JMO though.

I hope everything goes well PM me if you need any help!
Gems

 

[OhMari]

Sometimes I think wedding pictures end up taking over the whole wedding. Every little move needs to be photographed. I've been to some weddings were the bride and groom don't even enjoy the day, because their photographer is constantly interupting them, to pose for a picture. Sure you want pictures of your day, but having 500 proofs to choose from is ridiculous.

 

[minkydog]

Dad needs a beer. Don't overwhelm him with all the details, just tell him where to stand and he'll be happy. Wedding plans are something girls enjoy. Fathers do not, they just get annoyed. So drink up, Pappy

 

[Twinkles6892]

Dad needs a beer. Don't overwhelm him with all the details, just tell him where to stand and he'll be happy. Wedding plans are something girls enjoy. Fathers do not, they just get annoyed. So drink up, Pappy

 

[poochie]

Just remember that the day is ALL ABOUT the Bride and Groom not just the ceremony! Goodness me!

I am a planner and I would agree about the time between the ceremony and the reception, people don't really like to hang around but we find that a good selection of drinks and a few nibbley canapes can keep people chilled out until the bridal party arrives. Many people go for a 45 minute ceremony and then a couple of hours for photos etc - these things take time - and afterall DD will only do it once (hopefully) and it takes time to achieve perfection!
JMO though.

I hope everything goes well PM me if you need any help!
Gems

Thank you for backing me up on the wedding being about the Bride and Groom. They just wanted time between the two for pictures. But I did have to make a comment when she stated they wanted to change clothes to get their pictures on the maid of the mist????? First why pay for a hairdo which would definately get destroyed on that. They already had pictures from that on their last visti there and then they were completely soaked and wind blown and no hair or makeup would last thru that. Then have to redress to come back to the reception for the festivities. I will have to come up with a solution to that little adventure they came up with. Definately not thinking there.

 

[ItsonlyExperiment626]

Are they not doing any pictures before the ceremony because they don't want to see each other? If so, there are a lot of poses they can do separately before the ceremony. Most of the his/her family, groom with and without bridal party, bride with and without bridal party. That would definitely shorten the time for pictures between the ceremony and receiption.

I think as long as you have lots of yummy appetizers being served and an open bar with a good supply of drinks then your guests will be happy to wait for the bride and groom. They could also incorporate a slide show of their lives in the area where the guest are waiting. The main objective is to keep the guest occupied during this time.

Another thought is they can do the NF photo shoot another day or the ceremony could be later in the afternoon and they could do the NF shoot in the morning. I could see the photo time at this site as being longer then they thought it would take as it is a tourist attraction. Example, if they wanted to take a photo at a certain spot and it's being occupied by tourist then I would think they would have to wait till the people being there first to move before they could take their photo.

Have lots of fun with the wedding planning, but make sure to have them think the plan through before setting it in stone. My tip would be for the amount of time they think they will need to do something on the day of the wedding, add on 30-45 minutes. That way, they won't find themselves rushing on their special day. And if they happen to not need that extra time at some point of the day, they can sit back relax and reflect on what is happening or the surroundings of where they are at.

Good luck, but most important have fun!

 

[mickeymo]

my dh used to work part-time for a wedding photographer. Beautiful pictures take some time - some of the most beautiful photographs (and award winning) the photographer/owner created were of a couple who re-rented the groom's tuxedo a few weeks after the ceremony. They went to a park and had plenty of time without rushing and stress-free to create wonderful heirlooms of the couple. That could be a compromise - less time between and still have beautiful photographs - with less hassle and stress.

edited to add - still do all the post-ceremony family and recreated unity candle photographs...just do the creative at another time.

 

[Keli]

The wedding day really is about the bride and groom but there has to be a compromise between curtesy to the guests and the wishes of the bride and groom in regards to time between ceremony and reception. Because if there is too much time between the two you will have people skipping the wedding and just coming to the reception or leaving after the wedding and skipping the reception. It's very inconvient to find a place to waste a couple of hours if you are in a strange town for a wedding if you don't have a hotel room nearby.

 

[mickeyfan2]

I think that DH has every right for his opinion and you should consider each one. As a guest, I prefer less time between the ceremony and reception. Why not do the photos before the ceremony?

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Do you live close to the Falls? How much time are you talking in between wedding and reception?
I would drive to the Falls & check it out before you even think about this.

An hour(ish) is reasonable, after that it is uncomfortable for guests. This sounds like a ton of time in between wedding and reception. Going to the Falls, then pictures, changing clothes, etc...You are looking at 3-4 hours maybe??? Not a good plan.

 

[Beth76]

The wedding day really is about the bride and groom but there has to be a compromise between curtesy to the guests and the wishes of the bride and groom in regards to time between ceremony and reception. Because if there is too much time between the two you will have people skipping the wedding and just coming to the reception or leaving after the wedding and skipping the reception. It's very inconvient to find a place to waste a couple of hours if you are in a strange town for a wedding if you don't have a hotel room nearby.

I completely agree with this. Yes, the day is about the Bride and Groom and they should do it the way they want, but they also do need to consider their guests. Just because you're the bride doesn't mean all common courtesy can go out the window. I think the idea of going back to the falls after the fact to take pictures is a really good idea.

 

[almacdonald]

Sit him down in front of the TV and pop in Father of the Bride.... that should calm him down a bit!!

 

[castleview]

I recall sending Dear Dad on a lot of errands around my wedding.

 

[Disney Doll]

I am of the midset that the less time between the ceremony and reception the better. Now as far as a short ceremony...no. We are Catholic and we had a full Catholic Mass and liked it that way.

We had a FABULOUS photographer who took amazing pictures without any fuss or muss. When DH & I were first engaged (and I mean, we were engaged about 2 weeks), we went to the wedding of a friend of his. Well, their photographer was a total PIA!!!!!!!!!! He had the bridal couple and associated bridal party and family members out of the reception for about 2 hours doing pictures, he stopped every "moment" (mother/son & father/daughter dances) to get the "perfect" shot. It got to the poiont where the bride actually screamed at him "get away and leave me alone!".

We related this story to our photographer. We also had the time constraint of wedding at 530PM, cocktail hour starting at 7PM. The photographer assured us that he would have all bridal party and family pics done within 3-45 minutes, if everyone cooperated. And he did. After the wedding, we did not do a receiving line outside church...technically, you're not supposed to because you are not the "host" at church. After the guests left, we went back into church, he did pics with us and my family...done in about 15-20 minutes. Then my family left to go to cocktails. Then he did us and DH's family...took a little longer because he has a bigger family, but still probably done in about 20-30 minutes. Then they left to go to cocktail hour. Then he did the bridal party...about another 15 minutes. Then we got to the reception, and I swear to God, I didn't even know the guy was there!!!! And he got fabulous pictures of the dancing, the "moments"...everything. He never stopped anything, never posed us, nothing.

It can be done, you just have to find the right photographer.

As far as Dad, since he's footing part of the bill I assume, he should have a say. Some of his ideas/opinions might not be as stupid as you think.

 

[Stacerita]

I have atteded about 8 weddings this year alone. And generally attend that many (sometimes more) in any given year so I have lots of experience as being a guest. That day is all about the bride and groom. Bottom line. But they have to remember, that the guests are invited to be part of that day with them. So no fair to make them wait for hours on end or kill time before the reception. Take pics after the ceremony if its not going to be that long. But holding off the reception for hours just isnt good. If the reception is at a hotel where most of the guests will be staying its not as bad since they can freshen up and such. Or if there is a cocktail hour prior to the reception to make the guests feel part of it even though the bride and groom aren't there. You husbands points arent completely valid, but they do hint at some truth. Try to be considerate of the guests and not make them wait too long.

 

[rigs32]

We got married in WNY, too, and wanted pics by the falls. We took all the out-of-towners up there for the afternoon. While they walked across the bridge and saw the touristy sites, DH and I took photos. Yes, they were casual, but if your DD wants to change anyway, does it REALLY need to be the day of?

I also agree that too much time between ceremony and reception is annoying. I hate having to kill time at a mall when I'm all dressed up because there isn't even a cocktail hour I can go to. With gas being so expensive, it's not worth driving home to sit for an hour. A cocktail hour without the bridal party is a great compromise - time for pics afterwards, but without stranding guests.

Edited to say - we took folks to the falls on the day before the wedding

 

[luvmyfam444]

i defintiely agree with you mom on th saying NO to the maid of the mist...wht can['t they do that AFTER the wedding, either that night or the next day - there's no rule they have to leave for their honeymoon immediately - they can stay in a nice hotel there & do those photos the next day....maybe not w/that photographer, but they could still get the photos....besides taking that photographer there would probably make it another charge for a different location - & if that's the case you might as well hire that photographer for the day after the wedding to take those photos.

AND just imagime how much they'll hate the reception photos 'cause of how rough they'll look & that's what all the firends/family will remeber of them...

I persoanlly can't stand to go to a reception where I have to wait around on the bride/groom---that's usually the meal for the evening & we're hungry & want to cut the cake! oh yea, & then speak to the bride/groom...HAHA (just being honest!) if photos take about 20-30 mins that's ok but after that I'm ready to go....

Can they not take the bride's wedding portrait @ Niagra? the one that's on display @ the wedding - that's usually taken a few weeks before the wedding & it is covered in the pkg....(mine was @ the beach)....OR how about they take their photos together there BEFORE the wedding OR if they don't want to see each other she can take her photos & he can take his photos seperately there.

Yep - you gotta fina a comprimise.

Tell you're dh this one - our wedding started with prenuptial music (string quartet, handbells, ensemble singing) @ 7:30 p.m. & the wedding started @ 8 p.m. & lasted about 45 mins to 1 hr!! ANd yes, I still hear good comments about our wedding & its been 11 yrs! There was so much going on - it wasn't all preaching or anything so they time didn't drag on - but I know what your dh means...been to some BORING weddings before & wish they were over in 20 mins! Had a cousin that was in & out in 20 mins (or less!) she walked it -gave vows & then they (practically)ran out arm & arm...was nice - but hated getting all dressed up for THAT short of a ceremony.

Good luck with all your decisions, but I'd just try not to bring up anything in front of dh so he can't share his opinion - thank goodness all my dad did was write the checks!

Not sure I helped any -