DH confused: DD-14 has no date...

[Beastlover]

My DH is really bugging me...get this: he is upset that our DD-14 has no date to the 8th grade dinner dance. He is really hurt about this. My DD doesn't seem to be all too upset about it, but has told us that her friends all have dates. She seems to be the one in the group without one.

I'll admit, I am prejudiced, I think she is georgeous...I don't understand either, but on the other hand, I am somewhat RELIEVED, as I think kids are growing up too fast. Anyway, I smile and tell my DH to "just wait until next year--when she is in high school".

He went so far as to ask his best buddy, tell me the truth: why does my DD not have a date to the dance, all her friends do!! (I can't believe he asked him that!!) The buddy said...you want to know why?? DH: yes! Buddy: she's too tall. I said, "EXACTLY!! THIS IS THE CALM BEFORE THE STORM!!"

I really can't believe how freaked out he is about this. Any other time he is so overprotective of her-its crazy!! Now he is almost insulted!!

Anyone ever experience this?

 

[rubyslipperlover]

my older dd is in 9th grade. she's pretty and popular, especially with the boys. in fact I joke about buying her a chastity belt.

she didn't have a date for the 8th grade dinner dance, and she had a wonderful evening anyhow.

I'm sure your dd will have a great time, and by next year you'll be compalining that there ar etoo many boys hanging around...

 

[DisDuck]

As a father of a tall girl (5' 9") tell him that the boys will catch up. At this age is can be akward for a boy to go out with someone taller than they are. Once they see her all dressed up opinions on height will change then your DH will be taking the 'you want to go out with my girl!.. over my dead body' side.

 

[Beastlover]

THAT is what stumps me...he is already all over the "not my baby girl" and picking on the older guys in the church for hanging around her all the time.

I don't get where this is coming from...I would think he would be happy that no guy was to be "hanging" on her for the dance...

 

[SherryNC]

Awwwwww. What a sweet daddy. You're dd is gorgeous. Our dd,15 has learned not to share certain info with dad because it just ends up making her feel worse. He just does not know how to respond. His heart is in the right place, but running the guys down that get her upset just ends up making her feel worse. He's convinced that she will not marry until she's 30 and will live with us until that day. I have convinced her to just smile at him when he starts talking that nonsense.

 

[Blueeyes101817]

my dad used to be like that--i was always the tall one too...as i got older, he pulled the "lets threaten the guys shedates"...
he once even took my boyfriend to the back porch and told him if he hurt his daughter that he would bury him out back hahaha..thats my dad for ya

 

[wdw4us2]

I certainly hope your DD doesn't let this bother her. My DD had her 8th grade Class Night 2 weeks ago. She didn't have a date, either. Everyone hung out together - those with and those without boyfriends. It was the first time she actually danced at a dance!

As the mother of a tall DD (5'7"), I understand how you feel!

BTW, my DD went all out for the dance - hair professionally done, pedicure and professional makeover. She said the best part of the dance was seeing how surprised everyone was when they realized it was her! She was perfectly happy to be a princess for the night and go back to her regular look on Monday.

As for your DH, it sounds like he has good intentions. My DH is the same, but he's kind of clueless about how things are with contemporary teenagers. I don't always tell him about how our DD is feeling because he usually says something to her that he feels is funny, but it just makes her feel worse. I know his heart is in the right place, but I don't think he remembers what it was like to be a teenager.

 

[Dan Murphy]

It's a dad thing, Michelle. Don't try and figure it out.

BTW, the picture of the two of them is beautiful.

 

[mickeyboat]

Having a date to the 8th grade graduation dance is over-rated. My date (back in ancient history), snuck into my purse while I was at the salad bar to borrow my camera - I was furious. Then at the dance, he disappeared. I found out he was making out with another girl in the parking lot.

Denae

 

[DisDuck]

Funny thing.. in my family it is almost the reverse between my wife and I and our 2 daughters. I am not the 'over-protective' father waiting to 'terrorize' any boy who dares to go out with them. My wife worries more about whom they date. One is 24 and one is 20.

 

[Sandy V.]

Beastlover, your daughter is gorgeous!! Rest assured, it will all come together in time - but you've got PLENTY of time before then!!

My husband was the same way. Our daughter, who is now 17 and a junior, really didn't show an interest in dating the first three years of high school. She has lots of friends, and did a lot of group things, plus she had difficult academics and soccer to keep her busy. Every major dance event, my DH would fret and wonder why DD wasn't asked out. She didn't care, but DH was genuinely concerned. We're biased - like you, we think our daughter is lovely, smart, and accomplished.

Then all of a sudden this spring, she is now "Miss Popularity Plus" with both sexes. She's just blossomed and is happy and confident. She went to prom and had a wonderful time. And we now have a nice young man calling her all the time and spending time at our house hanging out. They're still in the early stages, but it's pretty clear that they like each other.

And you think I'd be happy? Well, I am MOST of the time, but there's a part of me that's thinking, "Be careful what you wish for; you may get it." My "baby" is growing up, and Mom is having a difficult time adjusting to this! I agree with your friend - this IS the calm before the storm. The height issue may play a small part in all of this, because it takes the boys a while to catch up - that was also a factor at our house. And you have to remember that once the boys DO notice her, things change.

 

[L107ANGEL]

DH is just worried. He doesn't want his little girl not feeling pretty, polpular, etc. Maybe DD should tell him she is perfectly happy to not have date. I hope she has a wonderfulll time!!!!
PS. I love the picture as well, very nice looking daughter and hubby.

 

[BuzznBelle'smom]

Please, please, please ask your DH not to say this to your DD! She's really pretty, the height thing may be what is the real issue. But more importantly, she's fine about not having a date--why risk making her feel that it's NOT fine? Gee, if Dad's worried, maybe there IS something wrong with me! You don't need that! Let her go, have fun--soon enough the boys will be giving her more attention than you want her to have!

 

[summerrluvv]

I can't remember what year it was...maybe my sophmore year...that my date for homecoming ditched me a few days before the dance. I already had the dress, so I just went alone with my friends who all had dates. It was probably the best time I ever had at one of those dances!!

 

[Microcell]

It is not because she isn't pretty!!! Men confuse me! Why in the world, with a DD as pretty as yours, would he want to get out the big stick to beat em away already and risk herniating his back on Jr high punks that date her? I would be down on my knees thanking god and hoping I didn't have to deal with it until she was 17 at least!!!! That is when they will get taller than her, and he better WATCH OUT!!

He does know that when girls go out with boys they tend to kiss them and ... OOHHHH my dd is only 7 and I am getting a facial tick just thinking about it!!!

 

[TigerBear]

DH is just worried. He doesn't want his little girl not feeling pretty, polpular, etc.

I'm betting this is it too - he probably is just concerned that she may not be happy not having a date. I wouldn't say anything to your DD. But I would print out this thread and show it to your DH in a couple of years. Your DD is beautiful - it will not be long before you won't be able to keep the boys away!

 

[Honu]

Okay, I'm feeling REALLY old. When did the 8th grade graduation dance turn into a dinner dance? Mine was in the gym and I don't recall anyone having a date.

 

[Beastlover]

It is not because she isn't pretty!!! Men confuse me! Why in the world, with a DD as pretty as yours, would he want to get out the big stick to beat em away already and risk herniating his back on Jr high punks that date her? I would be down on my knees thanking god and hoping I didn't have to deal with it until she was 17 at least!!!! That is when they will get taller than her, and he better WATCH OUT!!

He does know that when girls go out with boys they tend to kiss them and ... OOHHHH my dd is only 7 and I am getting a facial tick just thinking about it!!!

OMG!! You crack me up... My thoughts exactly...

 

[pixiedust23]

I think you are very lucky to have such a self-confident daughter! So congrats, i'm sure it was all in her raising and her great mother! As for the date I wouldnt worry. Make sure she takes a cell phone and if shes not having fun she can call you. But let's be honest:

1. During fast dances the girls are gonna dance with the girls in a circle, while the boys stand aournd trying to look cool
2. They're all gonna switch off on the slow dances anyways. If you dance with one boy too long he's gonna think you like him and OMG then the world would have to end!

BTW 9 years ago at my 8th grade dance we werent allowed to bring dates. I can honestly say it was the best thing EVER! In high school no one ever really brought dates to homecoming unless you were dating. You only needed a date for the 2 proms and 1 semi. But I guess I went to very lucky and tight-knit school!

 

[pw2pp]

That seems kind of odd to me that he would care about such a thing when his Daughter is only 14