DH asked me lose weight

[SetzKitten]

and I don't know how I feel about it. I know he's trying to help, but I felt really bad, but also glad at the same time because I know I needed a kick in the butt. Well, not really glad but maybe not so mad. I don't know. I gained about 10 pounds since the fall but I though it only bothered me, not him. He's never mentioned my weight before. I've been away from WISH for a while. It's time to come back. What do you think? Would you be mad or feel bad?

 

[calena]

Having anyone comment on your weight is so difficult. It is such a sensitive issue. I was very mad at my doctor who told me I needed to lose the baby weight after DD was born. My parents have also mentioned my weight to me and it makes me mad. The truth is that according to any weight/height chart, I need to lose about 20 lbs, so they aren't being too critical or anything. It is the truth.
Do you need to lose weight? I would go to a site with a BMI index and look at your numbers. If you are overweight according to the BMI, then it looks like he is trying to help you. If you are fine in the BMI, maybe his expectations are unrealistic. I don't know anything about your relationship, but give him the benefit of assuming he is looking out for your best interests. He wants you to be healthy.

 

[MelanieC]

Also,
Remember that its YOU that has to want to loose the weight. I'm the type that if my DH said something like that I would gain more just to spite him. It wasn't until I was ready that I was able to loose the weight.

Basically its a DECISION that you have to make and your head has to be in the right place at the right time to want to do it.

I know that it's hard to hear that, but I really hope you can take what he says and turn it into the motivation you need to get heatlhy for yourself..........if that is what you want and need.

Good luck!

 

[SetzKitten]

Do you need to lose weight?

Yes and no. I'm still within a "normal" weight but at the high end. I was obese, lost it all (except those stubborn last 5 pounds I never could get rid of) and have started creeping back up. I know he's just trying to stop it early becauase he knows how hard it was for me to lose it the first time. I guess I was just taken aback that he cared either way. He's never said anything about my weight before, even when I was really big.

 

[Tiger Lily 03]

That said then I think you are one lucky wife! He is noticing and cares enough to risk it all to say.

I WISH you the strength to turn it into something positive. I do know it is difficult (at least for me it is).

Good luck with this. Keep on keepin' on.

 

[s&k'smom]

I think Tigerlily is right. I don't think a partner/husband would comment on weight just to be mean. I think he was concerned and trying to be helpful, but being a guy maybe it didn't come out right. I'll give you an example I need to go back on meds for my MH. Just a little something to keep me sane but DH is rather nervous because it makes me very sleepy and he hates to see me like that. And he's worried about side affects. He's trying to say something helpful but he's just no poet.