Destiny, Fate or Making your own luck?

[NY Disney fan]

There are people in this world that are rich, successful, beautiful, confident, funny, etc. Then there are people that aren't or a mix of things. I hear successful people say "just work hard and you can have what I have." I hear people who love their job say "Just find a career you love and it won't feel like work." I hear people who are happy go lucky that say "Just have a positive attitude and change your outlook."

Do you ever wonder if people who are "lucky" in life are lucky because they made it happen, or the universe or destiny is choosing them to reveal their gifts to the world? The reason I ask is because I know what it takes to be rich, but I'm not rich. I know what it takes to have a great job, but I don't have one. I have the knowledge and the resources but something is not clicking.

Hope this makes sense.

 

[NY Disney fan]

Sorry mods, meant to post this in Community Forum. Please move! thank you!

 

[sydneysmom]

Happiness is what you perceive it to be. We're not rich but I am happy. My job generally sucks, but I'm okay. Here's the thing, with everything that's going on in this country, I'm grateful I have my job. It might be boring, but I am glad to have a paycheck. I'm grateful we have money in the bank, I'm grateful for my DH and DD. I'm grateful that my parents are healthy and happy.

Money doesn't buy you happiness or luck or anything else. Happiness is found within and no amount of money can ever buy it. It can make life easier, but gratitude and appreciation and faith can make you happy.

I used to believe that people were born lucky and why couldn't I have that too. Sometimes opportunities just present and it's "you're in the right place at the right time".
Well, that all changed after my dad was diagnosed with colon cancer. all of a sudden nothing else matters. He is a survivor of colon cancer for 10 years now. He's my hero. THAT is what matters. My family brings me happiness and that's all the riches I need in the world.

 

[DEA]

I think people who say, "Just work hard..." are radically underestimating the effects of luck on their lives. They were in a position where hard work paid off, but had they been born in a developing country, the chances that they would have the same life are very, very small. Working hard certainly helps if you are in a position to succeed, but not everyone starts in a position to succeed.

 

[NY Disney fan]

Happiness is what you perceive it to be.

Oh I agree with you 100% with everything. I think I'm just thining out loud, why some people have the "it" factor and others don't.

 

[nettii]

Just my 2 cents for what its worth. I do beleive you make your own "luck" because the harder we work the luckier we get! What people have is only a perception of the one looking in. Alot of people think DH and I have money, but truth be told we are average, we work very hard and in return we play hard. We beleive in family values and God and karma. We try to live our lives clean and treat others as we would like to be treated. We own several small bussneses and we have taken cue from Walt himself by treating each and every one of our customers as if they are special, because they are. with out them we would not be where we are today. God has given us health and family and its up to us to cherrish it. Sorry to sound so preachy but this is just my 2 cents!

 

[Mathfailure]

I am convinced so much of life's success is based on our inate genetic makeup that is entirely out of our control.

Intelligence, can be used or not, but if it isn't there to begin with all the hard work in the world will not replace brains. If you are marginal or low IQ you can still have a lovely and meaningful life, but you cannot do many things because of built in limitations.

If you have mental health problems, so many of which seem to have a genetic link, the odds are stacked against you in so many large and small ways.

If you are socially awkward, no people intelligence, it makes having a healthy and contented social life more problematic.

When you are intelligent, mentally healthy, socially at ease, it is easy to say just work hard like me and you can have it all too. Not realizing we all do not start at the same place, and some are overcoming huge obstacles to just go about a normal day.

 

[worm761]

I can't say about success. I feel that I was successful in my career. I am a SAHM now but I was happy with where I was before I left the workforce.

As for happiness...I agree...it is what you perceive it to be. My ex and I owned our own business. Very successful and had a ton of money. I was not happy in the least. I took vacations by myself with just my son and spent most of the time without my ex. I was happier as a broke single mom struggling to pay bills. Now I am plenty happy. Not single anymore and definitely not rich by any means but we are very happy together. Having been on both sides of the fence, I would rather be happy than wealthy.
My ex is wealthy because he/we busted our butts for it. We worked hard and made some very smart decisions. I think we are all the product of our decisions but that we can only make the best decision at the time. Are there things I would do different? probably but I did the best I could with the knowledge I had at the time.
The flip side of that is my sister who makes bad decisions all the time. It isn't like she is getting bad advice, she just won't take the good advice. She feels it is unfair that I get to take vacation when she doesn't. I pay my bills, she doesn't. I save for vacation and don't go to movies, out to eat, amusement parks, etc. She does. We are both smart people. She CHOOSES to make bad decisions. I don't think everyone chooses a bad path but I don't think everyone has the motivation to change the path that they are on either.

 

[Brancaneve]

What a great post! I think all of us, including myself, can look back(or presently) on moments that were trying and difficult and see how much better we are because those things happened. Sometimes we won't change, unless change is forced upon us. Difficult, yes, but the wave is what pushes us on to new and better things.

So it may not happen for you right now but someday it will. And when it does, you will be fully prepared for the success at hand.

 

[Acklander]

I believe all of us come into life with gifts and challenges. Gifts are meant to be shared, challenges are meant to be faced.
If you don't feel like things have "clicked" it because you haven't found your gift to share or you haven't faced whatever challenges that have blocked your way. Only you can do that, others can't do it for you.
I also believe that before we are born we pick what our gifts and challenges are going to be. Whenever things are going my way, I ask myself why I chose this path and that helps me decide how to share the gifts. Whenever I'm faced with challenges that seem overwhelming I ask myself why I had picked this challenge, and what I had hoped to learn from it. By asking why I chose it, helps me through my journey.
That being said, I don't worry about why some seem to have "it", and some don't. Sometimes you meet people when they're going through their gift stage, sometimes you meet them while they're going through the challenge phase. Everyone has their own journey, and I'm just seeing a very small slice of it.

 

[DrMomof3]

I think that we make our own luck. I have a great career and a great family but I've work very hard to achieve that. I've been "lucky" at times but I have also had several very not-nice things happen over the last few years. At that point you have a choice: feel destroyed and give up or try to turn lemons into lemonade. My life is far from perfect - we have some debt, I get stressed out, etc. - but I'm always trying to find ways to make things better.
I also think we (or at least I) sometimes need to re-define my goals to make them more achievable. It's not lowering my expectations so much as figuring out what's realistic!

Amanda

 

[chrisw127]

I think it's a combination of the two. People who work hard are generally more successful, but even then, sometimes it's just being in the right place at the right time. I know people who've worked two jobs their entire lives and never had a bit of luck, despite doing everything right and being good people. Conversely, I know people who were born into a lot of money and comfort and just seem to lead really easy, happy lives without putting all that much work into it. Luck, whatever you want to call it, is a factor. Still, it can only do so much for you.

 

[TheDizMom]

I don't think it's just one thing but a combination of them. As far as I am concerned success has a different definition for everyone. For me it's not money. It's is my family healthy and happy, do we have a roof over our heads, do we try to help those less fortunate then we are (which we usually do by giving our time since we can't do so monetarily), and do we feel like we are trying to make a difference in our community even if it's in a small way? I don't think any amount of money or a fabulous job can make you happy if you don't have those things in your life. Money and a great job can't love you and support you through all the things that we go through in our lives. Decide what your definition of success is and then live your life in such a way that you achieve it.