Destination Wedding, your thoughts/opinions.

[WeLoveLilo05]

For a very long time me and fiance have been trying to plan some sort of wedding. I wasn't really actively trying to plan anything b/c I wanted to finish college first, but now that i am done we'd like to plan something small.

So we thought a Disney Wedding , small, 21 people (including us and our DD). Its just those that are closest to us, parents, grandparents, brothers,sisters, and my aunt (who is like my sister we are 7 years apart), my uncle, and their 3 kids, and my fiance's best friend. Me and my aunt were planning a Disney Vacation anyway and my parents and sis would probably have went along too in Aug. Did I mention this would be my dream wedding?

The problem? FIance isn't too sure his parents would go, he thinks it would just be his sis, grandmother and his best friend. And I don't think my grandfather would come or my brother. My grandfather is older and I don't know if he'd want to travel and my brother has dogs that he doesn't want to leave.
Fiance doesn't seem too upset that his parents may not come, it doesn't seem to phase him much.

So I don't know what to do, if we had a wedding here where we lived it would no longer be small, it would turn into 100 people @ 100 a head, thats $10000 just on dinner! (We have large extended families that we'd have to invite). My parents said they'd help us pay for the Disney Wedding.

I guess, I am sad that my grandfather and brother probably won't come, but I understand that they can't, I wouldn't be mad, but at the same time I don't want them to be mad at me for not getting married locally.

Not sure what to do...WWYD?

 

[Mr.MouseFan]

Your wedding day should be about you and your fiance. Do what you want to do and don't worry about what others want. Besides, you can always have a reception/gathering when you get back for those that weren't able to attend.

Either way, congratulations!

 

[Pakey]

I agree, it should be what you want. We had one son have a large wedding at home and another son who did a destination wedding in Hawaii (with just parents and siblings invited).

 

[BELLE1109]

I had a destination wedding (Cancun, MX) and I don't regret it for a second!
My parents generously gave us a $ amount and whatever we didn't spend was given to us in cash. By having a destination wedding we were able to buy our current home.

Your wedding isn't about anyone but you!
We had a welcome home party to make everyone feel included. It was an informal gathering with wine/beer for an hour and appetizers.

Congrats!!!

 

[Christine]

No matter what you plan, there will be a problem, somehow, someway, with someone.

Have the wedding you want to have. The only thing I don't like about destination weddings are the brides/grooms who get upset that certain, specific people cannot go all out to make it to this destination wedding. They get offended and cause rifts.

If you decide to do a Disney wedding, be very gracious toward those that cannot make it for whatever reason.

 

[RangerPooh]

We had a destination wedding (Disneyland Resort) and those who we wanted to attend attended. I know that some previous WDW brides ahve been able to hook up live feeds for those who were unable to attend, ie: grandparents. Have you looked at the Disney Weddings thread?

 

[surfgirl]

Do what you want, but if someone can't attend or chooses not to spend their money or time on your wedding, you can't be mad.

We had a friend get married in the BVI's in June a few years ago... we had small kids and didn't want to/couldn't spend $3-$4k for 4 days (longest we could go for) . They were bent out of shape and I believe the bride has never gotten over it. Do I regret it ? Yes, because we lost a friendship... Am I still annoyed how much they expected us to accommodate them ? yes.

 

[Cooky]

.

 

[sunnyday123]

Having my Grandfather at my wedding was extremely important to me. While your wedding is ultimately for the bride and groom, if certain members had not been able to make a destinaton wedding, I would have had it local.

 

[wdwmom2]

It's you day, do you dream Disney wedding!!!!

Maybe, have someone video it. And then when the time is right, either have a picnic outside or a nice dinner and invite everyone over to watch it. Especially the people that couldn't make it.

 

[dakcp2001]

No matter what you choose, someone is going to be mad/upset/complaining about it, so you might as well do what you two want to do! You can always have a celebration/reception or party at home.

We tried to plan a destination wedding and everyone had a fit, so we tried to plan an at home wedding and they all complained about that. Then we figured we'd do a small destination ceremony & at home reception and that was called a gift grab. So people will complain no matter what you do.

We are eloping. Just us.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I would say plan what you want and make it special for the family that does come.

However do not be mad at people that do not come. That is the only thing you cannot do.

 

[WeLoveLilo05]

OP here, I wouldn't be mad if people couldn't attend, but I think they may be mad b/c I am not having it here and therefore they are unable to attend.

so frustrating

 

[jenrose66]

take the Disney wedding...it's what you really want, there doesn't seem to be anyone that would be really upset by the wedding...plus you save on the stress and expense of a big weddding.

when I think of destination weddings that annoy me it's when people get married on tropical islands, have huge wedding parties and expect them to get really expensive dresses and take a week off from work and then get all upset when everyone invited can't go.

 

[Pigeon]

If you don't care if any of your family attend or not, then it's up to you.

I wouldn't go to anybody's destination wedding, period. Personally, as a guest, they would be a complete non-starter, whether it was my sibling or my daughter getting married. Your wedding is not my vacation. If you want to have one, that's your choice. I do think they are obnoxious and rude if any pressure is put on anyone to attend.

And it does send a message to your families and your friends that you really don't value their participation in your wedding. If you don't, that's fine.

 

[MissElizabeth]

I would talk to your fiancee's parents and see how they feel. I know your fiancee doesn't seem to care if they are there or not, but as a parent I can tell you that I'd be hurt beyond belief if I couldn't travel for some reason and my son and his fiancee elected to have thier wedding at a destination. I guess what I'm trying to say is it depends on circumstances. If his parents have the means and health to travel and they just won't, then that's on them. If they can't and you have a destination wedding anyway, that's kind of crappy.

 

[pyrxtc]

go for the destination/dream wedding. Hopefully you will only do this once and you want it to be the way you want it. You can celebrate with he people that didn't go when you come back.

 

[dakcp2001]

If you don't care if any of your family attend or not, then it's up to you.

I wouldn't go to anybody's destination wedding, period. Personally, as a guest, they would be a complete non-starter, whether it was my sibling or my daughter getting married. Your wedding is not my vacation. If you want to have one, that's your choice. I do think they are obnoxious and rude if any pressure is put on anyone to attend.

And it does send a message to your families and your friends that you really don't value their participation in your wedding. If you don't, that's fine.

You know what I think is obnoxious? When guests think they get to dictate how the wedding "should" be and then boo hoo about it. An invitation is not an obligation. You dont have to go. People understand if someone cant travel to their wedding.

 

[antmaril]

If you don't care if any of your family attend or not, then it's up to you.

I wouldn't go to anybody's destination wedding, period. Personally, as a guest, they would be a complete non-starter, whether it was my sibling or my daughter getting married. Your wedding is not my vacation. If you want to have one, that's your choice. I do think they are obnoxious and rude if any pressure is put on anyone to attend.

And it does send a message to your families and your friends that you really don't value their participation in your wedding. If you don't, that's fine.

Wow, not even your daughter or your sibling? So, you have decided ahead of time that you will never attend a destination wedding? Doesn't matter who, what, where, when or why? All I can say to that is that I've lived long enough to know - never say never.

With regard to the OP's problem, I don't think she should have a destination wedding because the groom's parents cannot attend. It also doesn't work because her grandfather and brother cannot attend. I think she should have a small local wedding and go to Disney World for her honeymoon.

I think a destination wedding can be big fun if all the major players can attend. If not, stay home.

 

[mjkacmom]

Do what you want. I see you are in NJ - if you have something simple at home, people will complain about that. Is is that your future IL's can't come, or won't come? If it's the later, don't worry about it - they're the ones making that choice.