Desperately seeking help!!!

[The Disney Bunch]

THE DISNEY BUNCH: LOL...All of my children did this very thing when it came to naps, it's always been the normal for us. I didn't mention was that my children are always early risers...6:30am. If they slept till 8am I thought I was in heaven! But hubby and I are the same way, we are up each day by 5:45-6am to start the day. Back when the older children started kindergarten, it was 1/2 days for just a couple of hours. LOL...I still fall asleep in a car if the drive is over an hour long. No, it's not a medical condition, I did talk to our family Dr. about it once. But after I explained what our day is like, he said he would need a nap too. We are quite active, outside alot, constantly doing something and our children are the same way. From 3pm to 10pm we are up doing something(not now, she is down in bed by 8pm and asleep at 9ish.)We have never been know to sit around and watch TV alot.

I still think that is alot of sleep time that she is needing- my girls are all up by 6:45 (I am up by 5:30am) since we leave the house by 7:10, every day. My girls are in bed by 8 - 8:30pm. My girls are outside as soon as they can & are not back inside until nighttime. They do not watch TV during the day. And they do not take naps & they are your daughter's age. Why not try putting her to bed a little earlier & see if that helps also. I know she won't want to but maybe the extra sleep will help decrease any meltdowns.

 

[macmahony]

Even though you are busy, that is still a ton of sleep for a kid who is going to be six (did I get that right). We don't watch tv, and are always outside, and always doing stuff, and my almost 5 year old, does not nap. She is in bed by sevenish, and awake by 7 or 8. I could see your daughter needing a small nap, but man, she naps like a newborn. Have you had her iron levels tested??
I hope school is going better, and that she learns to love it. I was a preschool teacher, and seperation is hard.
Good luck

 

[disneyfanfamily]

Just so you know, that I am from Ohio too and by law, they CANNOT make a Kindergartener go full time. They only need to go "x" number of hours per week. Our school switched from M, W, F to everyday all day. Several parents were not happy with the switch. We had to push, but we would like to think that the board and the superintendent did not know the law. But now our school offers a choice. Every otheer day or everyday all day. So check it out. If the school will not work with you on only sending her part time, get the information from the state and they have no choice. And by law they cannot teach any new information to the other children if there are part timers. It is all review, etc.

Now this law can change, as I know some are pushing for mandatory Pre K. But for now, the law stands. Sorry I do not know ALL the details. You will have to do your own research.

 

[PoohHappens]

Although unusual that it is broken in to two naps, it is not that much extra sleep--remember she noted that they were not going to bed until 10pm prior to this. That is only an 8 hour night and most children that age require around 11-13 hours in 24 and so she had to make it up somewhere. Also al childrens sleep needs are different. My son is almost 5 and still takes an afternoon nap. Without it his behavior becomes unbearable and he is no longer capable of learning anything. He is in full day Pre K this year but they do take a rest every afternoon. Unfortunately it is only an hour and 15 minutes. He has been sooooooo tired this week. I know he will adjust and we are getting him to bed earlier. Good luck and hang in there, I really believe she will get it and even like it. It will just take time.

 

[stacy6552]

Maybe I'm reading this wrong, but it sounds less like seperation anxiety and more like stamina on her part. The seperation anxiety may be more likely your's than her's. I totally agree that the fever is more likely sweating/body heat from exerting herself so much.

She's making it until 2pm? How much more of the school day is there? I would leave her where she is. I would work with the school. Maybe 2pm is the time she can be pulled out for private work with the guidence counselor/theropist. Or maybe she can do that a bit earlier for a kind of downtime.

 

[KirstenB]

I have to second putting her to bed at 7. It takes all kids a while to fall to sleep, so I'd suggest moving the bedtime to 7, so she'll be asleep by 8. As you know, kids that age need about 10-11 hours a night.

 

[bearette]

I think you got lots of good advice here and your plan sounds like a good one. Though a lot of people don't like the use of bribery it is a good tool to use-why do you think kids get stickers and other treats for bringing their homework to school? (As long as she won't expect soemthing everytime she does something she is supposeed then it is alright.) If she really sited being away from you as the only reason she didn't like school then vising the class a little might help. (As long as you follow the plan and leave and come back.)

I would have her checked out by a doctor too, the naps she takes does seem a little much.

Another thing you might want to try is leaving her with other friends or relatives while you go out. Let her get baby sat for an hour while you go to the grocery store or something. Maybe if she experiences seperation from you in a more comfortable environment (her home with her own toys etc...) that might help her when she goes to school.

Good luck!

 

[NotUrsula]

One other point: you might want to work with her on handling her emotions more appropriately in public situations. Bursting into tears when you picked her up from a library program just because she realized that she had missed you was not age-appropriate behaviour, and she needs to learn that reactions like that are not acceptable in public (and "in public" includes the classroom.) My DS was prone to this kind of hair-trigger overt emotionalism, too, but we worked on curbing it at a much younger age, and by 6 he had learned that full-out sobbing in public was only appropriate in cases of true physical pain.

No teacher is going to be able to help her deal with what she is feeling if they can't hear her words through the sobs, (nor could any 911 operator, for that matter, if, for instance, you got hurt.) Feeling tired, or sad, or angry is OK, but making a loud and disruptive scene about it in public is not. Using strategies like taking deep breaths, silently counting to 10, etc., can be helpful for kids.

 

[va32h]

I have to agree about the naps - if a child falls back asleep within a few hours of waking, she is waking up too early or going to be too late.

All of my children tend to be emotional. One thing that works for me is to remind them, calmly and repeatedly "I realize that you are upset. I am sorry that you are unhappy. But this situation is not going to change. You have to ________________. You can be as upset as you want about it, but you will still have to do it. I love you and will help you get through this as much as I can."

They will still cry and carry on sometimes, but not for long, because they know it isn't going to change my mind.

 

[emma'smom]

Here are some thoughts: You might read her "The Kissing Hand" which is a story about a child who doesn't want to leave his mother to go to school. It won't solve your problem, but might allow you to talk through the issues with your dd and for her to see that her feelings happen to a lot of children (and of course, it has a happy ending where the child is able to make it through the day just fine).

If you do decide to spend a few days at school, maybe you could be a temporary (since you have a full time job usually) school volunteer working in the library or the office (or in a teacher's lounge, etc) where your daughter might have the comfort of knowing you are nearby, but you won't necessarily be in the room with her (unless the teacher seeks out your assistance if you child becomes upset). This is always a nice way to be supportive of your school/teacher as well.

Riding a horse sounds like a great incentive- it is something that "grown-up, brave" girls do. The same behaviors necessary for making it through a day of school are those that would allow her to safely ride her horse.

 

[eeyoregon]

In a different direction, has her blood sugar levels ever been tested? The fact that she still naps twice a day (on her own accord) at age 5 and seems to "melt down" in the afternoon sounds very familiar to my sister who was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes in grade school.

 

[tarheelmjfan]

I'm sorry you're both going through this. I was there 9 yrs. ago myself. I've always been a SAHM of an only child. He never went to preschool, or spent the night away from home. He didn't want to & I didn't see forcing him to. He he would have to soon enough, whether we liked it or not. The 1st 2 weeks of Kindergarten I would walk him in. When I turned to leave, he would get a death grip on my leg. At the same time, he was crying his eyes out. To walk, I would have to literally drag him along w/ me. The teachers tried really hard to make him happy, but he just didn't want to be away from me. After dropping him off, I would go straight to bed. I'd cover up my head & cry until it was time to go back to get him. After 2 wks. of this, my DH said no more. He left late for work for the next 2 weeks, so he could take DS to school. He told him that if he acted ugly, he would also be the one to pick him up. Until he could do better, his mom wasn't going to bring him or pick him up. For the next 2 weeks my DH walked him to class & not one time did he cling onto him. After that 2 week period, I started taking him again & would walk him to class. He would give me a hug & kiss, then go get in his seat. Anyway, you may want to try having your DH take her.

We also told him that as soon as he got adjusted to being in school, I would start volunteering in his class. We used that as an incentive for him to behave in class, & that worked well.

Good luck to both of you. I know how heartbreaking it is.