Desperately need advice!

[Bob NC]

you know, whenever there is a personal tragedy or medical emergency in my family, I immediately turn to the DISBOARDS for legal advice.........

Do you? Tell us more.

 

[bellebud]

If the reason to homeschool is to permanently remove the child from a stressor, then I think it is a poor choice. How is that child ever going to learn to deal with things if the only strategy learned is avoidance technique? Please don't anyone decide to do this - I've witnessed the results, and it makes for very sick, nonfunctioning young adults. Homeschooling can be great, but it isn't meant to keep kids from having to deal with the world.

On the flip side of the coin, we've all read and heard about the results of bullying for some... suicide. I'm not being dramatic here, it's a real result.

Please consider removing him from this stressful environment. I'm not even saying to homeschool, but I would never send him back into that hornets nest, wolves den, whatever you want to call it. A different school would at least give him a fresh start. BUT, I honestly do think homeschooling for a while is the best route, to allow him time to heal, gain confidence, and get away from a horrible environment. Bullying doesn't make people stronger, it makes them jump out of windows.

 

[Leajess99]

If the homeschool she chooses is actually a public cyber school, then the district may have to pay (in our state they do pay). In either event the district will lose government grants/funding they otherwise would've gotten for the child.

We pulled out our DD from public school and started homeschooling this year (for different reasons). It is going great! I say its definitely worth a try, and its the option I'd choose if it were my child. LMK if you have any questions about homeschooling!

Actually they do not lose funding if you place your child in a public cyber school or any other school endorsed homeschool program. They do still get money for those kids.

OP - I would look at the inpatient program again if that was working. Maybe he needs a little longer in a more structured program. For some kids the structure works better than anything else.

Your district should also have a homebound student program where they send a teacher out to work with the child at least once a week. It would be something to look into but you would need a note from the doctor keeping him out of school.

Good luck.

 

[North of Mouse]

Home schooling might be a good temporary remedy with out patient therapy for a while just to get him out of a stressful situation for now. Then, if he does better, I'd definitely put him in a different school - not the same one. Also, along with others, please do not blame or try to take action on the nurse - it would probably backfire as he's hearing things that aren't spoken anyway. He could have very well (if he is very heavy) be self-conscious and blamed the messenger rather than the message The scales would have confirmed his fears ( maybe more so than what she said ). It could have been that real to him. Also, I have some experience with one of my children being bi-polar and it is very hard and I sympathize with you as a mother. But, having said that, no one statement or incident could have caused his problem, but maybe a series of things. I also would try to monitor his diet (not so noticeably for him) but serving the whole family more nutritious, lower calorie foods and try to get his weight down. That could easily be the "root" cause of his problems - low self esteem can make it much harder to withstand other kids teasings - because that is part of growing up and all kids do it to "some" degree. Hope things get better Also, as a family, try to get some physical exercise every day and make it a fun thing to do - biking, hiking, sports, whatever can interest you. These types of things are very important for health and drawing the family together.

 

[Schmeck]

On the flip side of the coin, we've all read and heard about the results of bullying for some... suicide. I'm not being dramatic here, it's a real result.

Please consider removing him from this stressful environment. I'm not even saying to homeschool, but I would never send him back into that hornets nest, wolves den, whatever you want to call it. A different school would at least give him a fresh start. BUT, I honestly do think homeschooling for a while is the best route, to allow him time to heal, gain confidence, and get away from a horrible environment. Bullying doesn't make people stronger, it makes them jump out of windows.

I agree - bullying can lead to suicide. By running away from the bullying, though, the person never learns to stand up for himself, and the bullying continues. The student feeling bullied needs to be closely followed by mental health professionals if suicide is contemplated, but completely withdrawing from a bullying situation, never revisiting it, is also very crippling. People cannot cross off places they will not go just because they were bullied there. The bullies don't just stay in the school forever - they show up at the grocery store, the movie theater, etc.

 

[TheRatPack]

I'd be worried about what he might do to other students too.....if he was having to be dragged in to the outpatient center, is he at risk for breaking down at his school again? Could he hurt another child, a teacher? I would seriously consider inpatient care again....you don't want to look back and see something you could have prevented.

On the note of homeschooling, check out K12 for your state.....just do a Google search for K12 and your states name. It is a state funded homeschool program. They supply the books, have teachers grade the work, record grades and they also will supply a laptop to do most of the work on. Then maybe you could talk to his psychologist about getting him in to some support groups, so he could slowly re-integrate back in to a regular school setting one day.

 

[Schmeck]

K12 is not always state funded and free - for example, in Massachusetts, one school system has it for free, but only up to grade 8. Some private schools offer it through grade 12, but it is tuition based.

OP's best bet is to get a 504 or an IEP for the student (results after testing at the inpatient hospital will show which is more appropriate), and have some tutoring at home until his condition is stabilized and he is able to be coached on how to handle bullying situations. Then it is up to the family to decide if moving to another school district is a viable option. If he does start in a new school, there's no guarantee that the bullying will not follow him there - cellphones and the internet have made bullying a viral situation.

If the family decides to homeschool, there's going to be a need for a lot more socialization with peers after school, to reduce the chances of losing social skills. If he has a couple of good friends who are willing to stick with him through all of this, then there's a great chance that there will be a lot of success. If he gets isolated from his peers, there's a sad probability that he will never be able to get over this avoidance technique, and he'll be an easy target for bullies for many years to come. It can also make it very hard to overcome any mental illness. Isolation feeds into so many illnesses, because humans are social beings.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

Your child has both done inpatient and outpatient therapy. He should have a doctor, right? A psychiatrist, or psychologist? Don't ask us what to do, ask your child's doctor.

If he doesn't "have a doctor" (ie someone who basically has all of his paperwork and diagnosed him), you should get one, ASAP.