Desiree's Journal - (Posts welcome)

[Desiree]

Well I had a bad couple of days, but when I weighed this morning i was at 165!?! I have no idea how. But why is it when I get back on the scale 5 minutes later, it goes back to the dreaded 167? I usually weigh immidately after using the bathroom first thing in the morning.

 

[Desiree]

holding steady at 166. And I had a terrible dieting weekend! This weekend doesn't look more promising. 2 weekends in a row I've got weddings so with all the rehearsals & various other festivities it's been a baaad week.

 

[Desiree]

Ok, so I've been avoiding this place like the plaque for the past few months. I've lost all will and determination. Last time I checked, I'm back up at 174.

I just finished watching Rock Bodies: From Fat to Fab on VH1 and now I'm more depressed than ever. I've noticed that I'm now eating when I'm bored. I'm constantly nibbling on things.

I want to desperately join a gym. I really think that I need someone pushing me to do this. I obviously dont have what it takes to do this on my own. The problem is that I can't afford one right now. And because I can't afford one I just have no motivation to do anything.

I need help.

 

[DoeWDW]

Desiree {{ hugs }} to you!! I'm sorry that you're feeling so down at the moment. Could you commit to something small, like walking around the outside of the house once a day? Just a little something to get you moving? You know, you don't have to run a marathon or anything, just set a very small goal.

I nibble when I'm unhappy and it is SO HARD to stop that kind of emotional eating. Maybe that's what you're going through. You can do this. You DO have what it takes, Desiree, but you may need to take baby steps for a while. Eat just one healthy meal a day for a week. Then make it two healthy meals for the next week. Pretty soon you'll be back on track and feeling much better about yourself.

Also, keep posting to your journal, even during the bad times. We're here for you, whether to celebrate the good times or help you through the bad times.

I'll keep checking back here to see how you're doing.

Remember, baby steps are OK!

 

[Desiree]

Thanks for your words of kindness Doreen.

Today is a new day. I'm going to recommit myself to doing this.

Had a piece of toast and 1 boiled egg so far.

I'm going today to join our local YMCA. I can make it work financially. I was just using it as an excuse before. Hopefully I can get with a trainer today as well to show me how to do everything.

 

[Desiree]

172 Today! Headed in the right direction anyways.

I joined the Y yesterday and went to the new member orientation thingy. After I get Devyn to school I'll go on the treadmill for a bit I think. My fitness evaluation is scheduled for Monday then they'll set up a personal workout just for me.

All I've been drinking is water, juice or milk. And have been eating cautiously. Going to the bathroom like crazy too! I guess that's a good thing!

 

[IrishAngel]

Ok you're so like me it's scary. I go on a healthy eating program, have a few setbacks, weigh myself after a month, and start all over again. Except this time i'm going to do it.
One of the things inspiring me (and depressing me a little) is thinking that if i had stuck to the plan the first time i decided to lose weight I would be at my ideal weight bout 3 years ago!
I also went through the scales thing, even weighted myself the same time of day as you. Up down, up, down, up, you know what it's like. I eventually decided that home scales just don't work that well and started using a reliable scales in a shop that cost $1 each time. It really works better. Now i don't even think bout the home scales.
The only advise i can give is stay with it. Yes you'll have setbacks but such is life. Just make the best choices you can every day and try to just weigh yourself once a week wearing the same clothes. I know your not following any specific programme but you could try counting calories for a while, just to make sure your keeping on track.
You CAN do this.

 

[Desiree]

Thanks IrishAngel! I feel pretty determined this time. Of course, I've said that every time too though. But I know the only way I'm going to see any goal is by doing it myself, watching my food intake and exercising.

Best of luck to you with your weight loss.

 

[Desiree]

Well I go in for my fitness assessment today at noon. I'm not looking forward to this. I dont need them to tell me I'm fat. I know it's better for me in the long run to know where my starting point is. After today they'll set up my appointment with a trainer. Soooo this is the week. I've been eating pretty well all weekend. Only one slipup with a doughnut Saturday morning at our employee meeting. Other than that been doing well with my no cokes rule.

Des

 

[DoeWDW]

Desiree, how did your fitness evaluation go??

Be careful about your attitude - this is NOT "just another attempt to get thinner". This is the first step in being healthier. The weight loss is just a nice side effect of doing those things that make your body healthier, like eating right and exercising. Every time you make a good choice to exercise or eat healthy food, you are choosing to love yourself and take good care of yourself. You're getting healthier for you and for all those around you who love you, like Devyn & Chris.

Take good care of yourself, Desiree, and let us know how it's going!!

 

[Desiree]

Ok I've managed to survive the assessment and my first training session! I have to admit, when the training session was over, I was a little sad. I wanted to keep working! This is a major development! I'm so excited. I'm going back tonight with Devyn and we're going to swim.

My trainer, Jennifer, didnt quite get to do everything we had hoped. There is a fitlinx system there that she was going to set me up on but their computers were down this morning. I'll go back Monday morning to get put in the system. But she showed me all the machines and how to properly use them.

My goal......

5 days a week to the gym. M - F. Tues & Thurs. weight training & cardio. M, W, & F just cardio.

Breakfast this morning. Just a boiled Egg and some orange juice. By now I'm usually starving. I'm not even hungry right now.

I am contemplating doing something also like Atkin's. I'm about to start researching it to see what I need to do.

ANYHOO... I'm excited! (I may feel sore tomorrow, but I'm actually looking forward to that too!) I know I'm doing something right for once!

 

[DoeWDW]

Desiree, you go girl!!! I can just hear the excitement in your post! You may have to work up to every day. If you're too sore, don't quit but talk to your trainer about scheduling a rest day here and there.

Keep us posted!!

 

[Desiree]

Thanks Doreen!

I'm going in this morning to finish getting put into the fitlinx system. After that, uggh, I have to go and order the cake for my mom's birthday party tonight! (Why do I always wait to the last minute on things!)

But I'm hoping to do cardio and weight training today. I think the yoga classes are tomorrow too so I may look into going to do that.

 

[Desiree]

Sorry it's been so long since I've posted. My big news for the week is.....................

MY SHINY NEW 5 LB. CLIPPIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I've been doing just as I'd hoped at the gym. Tues. & Thurs. Cardio and sit-ups. Mon., Wed., & Fri. Cardio and weights. I managed to get in (albieit only 30 minutes worth) of laps at the pool. And I've been trying to eat better.

This gym thing is addictive! And the thing I LOVE about the YMCA is that there isn't any pressure to look like a 120 pounder. There are people of all shapes and sizes there just trying to do the right thing and exercise for a healthier lifestyle. This is the best investment I've made in a long time!

It's my day off from the gym and I want to go and work out!!!!

 

[DoeWDW]

Desiree, you look BEAUTIFUL in that shiny new clippie AND that wonderful healthy ATTITUDE!! I bet you are just glowing!!

I'm so glad you're enjoying the Y and all that healthy exercise! Doesn't it feel so good to move??? Finding a way to fit exercise into your life is key to getting healthier and you're doing a wonderful job! The results are starting to show!!

HOORAY!!!! Have a wonderful day, Desiree!!

 

[Desiree]

Phew.. I was only able to do 15 minutes on the cardio machine thingy today. Yesterday I went twice. Once in the morning for 20 min & the afternoon for 20 more with my weight training afterwards.

I've put on a bit of weight. 2 lbs to be exact, but I'm not fretting as that may be muscle.

I may go back for a bit this afternoon and do something else cardio before going to work tonight.

 

[Desiree]

We'll I'm back here again. I know exactly where my downfall began. I was going so well. My friend Cristi and her son came down in October and ended up staying with us for about 3 weeks. She's going through a nasty divorce and basically left her husband in Chattanooga. In all my dealings with her and assisting her with what I could, I pretty much stopped everything. Going to the gym eating right, etc.

So now, I've topped my maximum weight ever. I was 188. The other day I weighed and am down to 186. Needless to say I am very depressed. None of my clothes fit. I've been going back to the gym regularly for about a week now. Chris joined up with me and has been going also. That's a great incentive. I just feel like I'm going through all the motions again. I'm so sick of this. Why oh why can't I ever stick to something and see it through?

I guess I needed to reread all my other posts too. So anyways, here I am again.

Des

 

[Desiree]

I guess I should post my "new" goal just so I can see it out there looming.


188/188/130

I've got to throw away all the girl scout cookies at my house!!!

And I will say that I havent had a coke in over a week. Only water, milk, juices and gatorade for me. That doesnt seem to be too hard of a hurdle since I've laid off the cokes alot before. I get to where I dont even miss them after a while.

 

[marsh0013]

hey desiree, i haven't had a chance to read through your whole journal yet, but i wanted to pop in and say hi

good for you for getting back on track, i know it can be very hard to start over again once you've fallen off the wagon. but you can do it! it looks like you've made the commitment, now all you have to do is stick to it.

i'm going to try to read through your journal today, and hope to return later.

have a great day today

 

[DoeWDW]

Desiree, welcome back!! You knew we'd all still be here to welcome you with open arms, right? That's what WISH buddies are for!

Good for you for recommitting to your goal. I know it isn't easy but every day you have a new opportunity. The road will have occasional bumps and detours but you've found your way back and now you can start to live the healthy life again. You'll feel much better after you've got a few days under your belt!

Glad you're back on the journey with us!!