Depression

[mechurchlady]

The worst thing is when you are shunned and become an outcast. You try to fit the norm and be clean, pretty, perky and have a perfect mask on where people see you as the perfect person when you are so sad.

I am paying for the actions of others but slowly am recovering from major problems like swelling and hypersensitivity to pain that I never seem to get. I have gotten by with the help of my friends online. I got a list I could show you of nice people who are rocks and sunshine angels. I am so alone in real life because I live my life in my room away from church and society. Online are people I help and kids who worry about me. Online has been good to me as they do not know how I smell, how I eat, or what I wear. They love me for my soul not for my outward appearance.

Hugs Sue tight and then hsu her again. Oops I ruffled your angel wings again. Thank you Sue for being there for us in the hard times.

Hugs Becky adn bookworm and everyone who care for me and keep me going in the dark times. Hugs Bok Choy Momma 10 times as you been there for me too.

This board is so helpful and helps us to see we are not alone. There are others with the same problems we face.

Hugs and chcolates and bok choy and cupcakes and ice cream for all.

Laurie

When the darkness is on you then try to find a friend or if nothing else find a chat room such as Pogo where you can talk to people. There are angels all around you but you cannot see them unless you really need them. I know one who wear's nurse's shoes.

 

[honugirl]

Hey Starr! We miss you over on the PBA thread (look for Pi Beta Alpha on the CB, that's our new unicorn thread) anyway, sorry I didn't see this sooner. I've been dealing with depression for a lot of years, probably 15-20 or longer. Does it come and go or does it hang over you all the time? Mine loved to come and go. They tried to hang the bipolar label on me. I resisted and turns out, I was the correct one. It was because of my hormone fluctuations. Please have them test you to see where your hormone levels are, including your stress hormones: ie cortisol. Hormone fluctuations can also cause the weight gain and loss. Feel free to PM me anytime. I'm there for you and so are your unicorn sisters!

 

[ChevyNat]

Hi everyone, I feel for all of you! I sometimes am soooo tired, you see I got a divorce 2 years ago (already) and I fought for everything,(he walked out on me and the 2 kids after being together for 20 year, told me that he wanted to leave, have fun and no responsabilities) So I now work 2 jobs and have the kids full time... about a month ago, I just felt tired, frustrated, angry and sad all together just a rush of emotions, I just wanted to crawl into bed and not face the world anymore. But I pushed through with the help of a very good friend...
It's go, go, go for me for 2 years now, I keep myself busy, but sometimes it's sooo hard. I don't think I'm depressed but the rush of mixed emotions sometimes makes life difficult to deal with. ha! I wish everyone the best!

 

[mechurchlady]

Big hugs and even i fyou are not officially depressed you can learn from people with depression. I learn so much from autism that helps me deal with my nonautistic mother. Hang around this board and subboard to learn a lot and have friends to lean on.

 

[ChevyNat]

Thank you! I just love this board... everyone was a big help when I turned here for advice about my divorce... I really feel like I have good friends here!!!!

 

[pudge the fish]

Hijacking thread - But I am feeling really down so since this is a depression thread it works
didn't fell like starting a new one
I am feeling depressed and down and ICK and just wanna hide in a hole and not come out

I apologize in advance for the whining and feeling ICK- please stop reading now if you hate whining


Ok you were warned not to read more if you didn't want to read me whining:
I have a "Event" to go to tomorrow night and I wanted to look nice- I have nice dresses but I have added a few ( ok A LOT of ) extra pounds and nothing fits- I have been pretending that I am NOT eating bad again and stress is not affecting my food issues.

now I am under 5 foot tall -more like 4' 10'' (maybe if I am standing on a piece of paper I am close to 4'10") and I am overweight- First do ya know how hard it is to find a dress to fit? second do ya know how hard it is to find a skirt that won't sweep the floor when ya wear it?? so poor hubby goes without dinner and takes me to the mall as I can't drive at night and can I find anything?? of course not- then I get into a snit and refuse to spend 60.00 on a dress I may only wear 1 time.
So I will wear one of my every day skirts and tops and pretend not to care when I really do - I just wanted to look nice.

and then I am mad at me and want to eat non- stop because I am upset..the old food will make me happy issues and then I get even more


I am tired of not doing things right and I am tired of my family laughing or telling me I always fail when I try and lose weight. they are right I go good for a while and then blow it. Instead of complaining I should get off my butt and do something about it- but it's hard and I have issues with food.
I guess it makes no sense to others -But it makes sense to me.

thank you for letting me whine
to all

 

[mechurchlady]

You see that you are in a cycle. Eat, get fat, get depressed, eat. Eat normally and when you feel the urge find something else to do. Last night I was so near a meltdown because I HAD TO HAVE ICE CREAM, lots of it. I got a pint at the store as a treat for mom then went to 7-11 and got the allergen free potato chips in a single serving bag and a small slurpee. Sugar, crunch, time out, and freezing cold drink hit the spot. I fought and won.

Now Pudge dearest chin up. It is too late to get the dress tonight. Go tomorrow to the store and buy the $60 dress. If you do not wear it again then right it off your taxes as a donation to a charity like the ones that give used dresses to business women.

You cannot go to the event without the dress. The event is important to you. We can deal with food issues later. Common Pudge chin up and think lovely thoughts of WDW trips and all the wonders of the world. Think of the event and how happy you will be to get out of the house.

hugs for dearest Pudge, do not make me get on a plane and come all the way over there to hug you in person then drive you to Wal Mart and get you a dress, a hidious ugly dress that makes you look like goth gone country.

 

[pudge the fish]

and in the area I live in goth gone country would be about our Walmart styles

I am better today- over my mood- still not all right as I really have to fight these food issues. I now how to eat properly- I know I can do it-I just can't SEEM To do it.

I went to a store like Ross and got a dress for 15.00 on clearance- was 55 normally and it looked pretty nice. got a pair of shoes to match for a DOLLAR on close out I am a bargin shopper!
Went and had a nice time and had prime rib- I really don't like prime rib it is too rare for me but I nibbled and did NOT eat the Dessert.


Anyone comes to visit I have to drag you to Disney and meet my fav Cm's and super secret places to see fireworks & eat many Dole Whips

I am getting my FIRST dole whip on Sunday
I have been so many times and NEVER had a dole whip just never paid attention to dole whips
we are eating at crystal palace for lunch -it will rain 40 % chance so afternoon will be dashing around in crocs. but we have ponchos and it will be fun.
to everyone for letting me whine and complain.

 

[mechurchlady]

I have a mother so unless I win a million dollars I will never be over at WDW ever. Finances and mother together you know.

If you are at DLR I will show you the sites and get you a Dole Whip. Now you feel even better because you got stuff for a steal. Shopping is good for the soul, lol.

Glad you had a good time and nibbled on the dessert. How was the dessert? As you know I have food issues. At the Wine and Food fesstival I skipped dessert except that yummy sauce as it was NOT worth the suffering. I am paying for the cupcake I ate last night, still. It has to be something yummy good for me to cheat. That or severe depression.

Big hugs Pudge and chin up but out here not too high or you are a seagull target. If I could invent one thing it would be a healing machine and the second thing would be a diaper for pigeons and seagulls.

 

[starrzone]

Not having a great day today. It's because of a lot of things, which I may mention later...but I just need a hug! I hate having bad days...people just keep saying things like "Find something that will cheer you up". The thing is, sometimes nothing will! Ugh...I hate this condition...

 

[PrincessKsMom]

Hey star, sorry to hear it's rough going for you right now.

 

[starrzone]

Hey star, sorry to hear it's rough going for you right now.

Thanks for the support PrincessKsMom, and thanks to everyone else who has posted on this thread. I think just talking to people who understand helps me a heck of a lot.