Dementia?

[disykat]

I wish you luck. It took me forever to convince my DH and his brother that there was something wrong with their father. They just refused to see it. It's very hard.

I knew my brother gets "stuck" sometimes, but I hadn't realized how much he uses denial as a coping mechanism until our parents started having issues. Denial is a VERY powerful coping mechanism for certain personalities.

 

[Princesca]

Yes, delirium is the medical name for it. Delusions can be a symptom of delerium. I can speak to it pretty well because as a hospital nurse I deal with it all the time, and also had to deal with it in my own mother when she was a patient. It is a result of a lot of chemicals in the body becoming out of whack, usually as a result of an illness, surgery, medications, low oxygen levels, hospitalization itself (with days and nights mixed up), infection, electrolyte disturbances, etc. It usually comes on quicker and can resolve. It can get worse at night. (Sundowning.)

Yes, it was super scary. My mom didn't have any major memory issues, so she went from fairly normal to absolutely delusional overnight. She was telling me stories that I knew couldn't have happened, and she 110% believed that they had. She was so painfully confused and scared, it just broke my heart. I rushed to the hospital and we talked it through, and it was clear to me from the things she was saying that they had a basis in reality, but in her on and off wakefulness, her sleeping mind put a fantastical spin on it and made it impossible for her to distinguish what was real from what was imagined. They really ought to have that conversation with caregivers of elderly patients at intake, or at least ask if you are familiar with the concept.

Her nurses, by the way, were all angels, talking me down from the freak-out ledge as well as caring for her so well. Thank you for the work you do <3 You all are definitely underappreciated.

 

[QueenIsabella]

I knew my brother gets "stuck" sometimes, but I hadn't realized how much he uses denial as a coping mechanism until our parents started having issues. Denial is a VERY powerful coping mechanism for certain personalities.

My brothers also had major issues with denial. It didn't help that they weren't on the front lines with our mother's care--my sister was, and she did such a good job, our brothers thought everything was going fine. We were "fortunate" (ha ha) in that, due to our mother becoming legally blind, a lot of the heavy lifting was done. By that, I mean that, Mom had already given up the car keys (frequently a tough one), and had my sister on her HIPAA, etc. Where we ran into trouble was, our mom could still live independently, and she chose to sell the childhood home (good choice) and move some good distance away from Sis (bad choice). Sis couldn't visit as frequently, so a lot of signs of both dementia AND psychosis weren't spotted as early as they might have been.

Did I mention that our mom was also bi-polar? One of the good things about her going into assisted living was that she was required to take her meds. It was ironic--for the first time in my life, my mom's mental illness was under control, and her brain was turning to swiss cheese...

 

[disykat]

My parent's overall health got better each time they moved levels of care. When they moved to residential senior living, they ate more regularly and socialized and mom had the emotional support of the community. Mom's bloodwork got better. (She has kidney issues so it is tested regularly.) Then they moved to assisted and got their medications on a regular schedule. It improved again. Both of them got healthier the less independent they were.

It's a weird thing, because my goal was certainly not to extend their battle with dementia, but we couldn't let them fend for themselves either.

 

[QueenIsabella]

My parent's overall health got better each time they moved levels of care. When they moved to residential senior living, they ate more regularly and socialized and mom had the emotional support of the community. Mom's bloodwork got better. (She has kidney issues so it is tested regularly.) Then they moved to assisted and got their medications on a regular schedule. It improved again. Both of them got healthier the less independent they were.

It's a weird thing, because my goal was certainly not to extend their battle with dementia, but we couldn't let them fend for themselves either.

I'm not surprised. My MIL lived alone for decades--both her sons lived over an hour away, so we all thought she was doing fine. Then she fell and broke her hip, necessitating a move to an assisted living facility. She had all her faculties, so she was able to pick one out herself--thankfully, very near BIL. Her biggest complaints? The price (since she was cheap) and that the food was so good, she was gaining weight! It turned out, she was subsisting on Lean Cuisines for a couple years prior to the fall/move. Needless to say, her sons were thrilled that she was eating well--and, what's the point of saving for your declining years if you don't actually spend on your care in your declining years?

 

[flyingdumbo127]

Extra hug and prayers to each of you, especially those of you who have been in a firsthand caregiving situation either due to dementia or something else. You are appreciated.

With my grandma, what helped make some difference was being able to sit down one day (at this time we both lived in a small town) with her doctor. I was responsible by then for all her medications anyway, I wanted to go carefully over with him why she was taking them. This was also instigated by several horrible reactions to medications my beloved grandma had endured already. Looking back, I wish I had done this much sooner and better realized just how much a medication can indeed negatively impact someone with dementia. Less is always better especially where medications are concerned, too. Extra important for any of us to truly understand a need for one and be able to openly discuss recommendations and concerns of course!

God Bless all of you and an extra thank you to all who serve in healthcare in whatever way! You make such a kind difference to all.

 

[nw6675]

Well, I am here now. Because we unexpectedly changed our dates, my mother had to admit she has a doc appointment today. Not related to dementia, but the cardiologist...she evidently has been having issues and they did not tell me or my sis. Had tests, wore a monitor, etc.

I should have a chance tonight to grill my dad for more info.