Delimma and I'm not bothering with an alias UPDATE -page 4

Rebelmom67

DIS Veteran
Joined
Aug 23, 2008
Messages
998
I'll try to make this to the point and as unbiased as possible.

I am in the healthcare field, and I must continually further my education with classes and what not. I have a most generous employer who pays for any classes, even if they are in another state. This includes, room, board and all my expenses to get there and back.

There is a huge professional meeting in North Carolina next month and it would fit the bill nicely to satisfy my continuing educational credits. My employer has already paid for my room and classes. Sweet.

My husband could not possibly go because he needs to watch our children for me. They certainly would not be welcomed at these classes and I wouldn't expect it, and the whold atmosphere is totally not family-friendly, it is business, period. Sooooooo (here is where we start getting sticky), I asked a co-worker of mine if she would like to accompany me on this trip. Now, we would stay in the same room and SHE would pay for her food and extras, my employer would NOT pay anything for her. I just basically wanted company and thought we could have a good time. She eagerly accepts and I was looking forward to the trip.

Fastforward to today. There is another co-worker that I'm friendly with, but not "friends", if you know what I mean. My other co-worker (the one going on the trip) is best friends with her. The just friendly co-worker comes up to me and says. "JT, invited me to go with y'all and I'm so excited!!, We can hit all the bars after your classes!!!":scared1:

Ummmmm......uhhhhhhhh.....ohhhhhhh......crap. I did NOT invite this woman, I do not want to bar hop after my classes! I invited my other co-worker to keep me company, I didn't expect her to invite our other co-worker along with us!!

My boss has always paid for these excursions (for me, the other girls do not need CE credits) and told me to "have fun". Well, I feel a bit taken advantage of here. I'd rather just go by myself now because I know full well the other girls are just going to want to hang out together, drink and leave me out. They see me as a "free ride". My feelings are really hurt that the co-worker I invited would invite the other one without my consent.

I don't know how to extricate myself from this situation. I thought about letting them have the room that my employer paid for (it is a room with ONE king bed) and me getting another one - but then I don't think it is fair for me to have to pay for a room so they can have a good time.

Am I just being mean and hateful? I would have no problem if I were friends with the girl that my "friend" invited, but I'm not. I know they will end up just using this as their "vacation" and I will be solo and alone the whole time, unless I want to man hunt and get rip roaring drunk every night. I'm just so deflated now. Any advice is welcomed.
 
Deals off- you invited one person not 2. Talk with the person you originally invited and explain that it was a one person deal. She made the mess now she gets to clean it up. If not- go alone.
 
I would taint a container of brownies sooo heavy with Ex-Lax that they would never be able to leave the room!!!! JK;).

The friend you invited had no right to invite someone else. Maybe someone will come along here and give you some good advise!! (Just in case you didn't like mine)
 
Deals off- you invited one person not 2. Talk with the person you originally invited and explain that it was a one person deal. She made the mess now she gets to clean it up. If not- go alone.

ITA :thumbsup2
 

I really do like y'all's advice. It is how I feel myself!

I'm po'd as a rattlesnake, but don't know how to "get out of this" without hurt feelings. I have definitely learned to never invite co-workers. Let me rephrase that "co- WORKER"
 
Un invite them. There really isn't room for 3. Especially if its only one king bed. Tell your friend that the room is for two, and the other person can't stay there. If she backs out, find another friend. I find it rude that she invited someone on her invite. And I woulnd't want to go bar hopping after classes either. Maybe wind down at dinner with a drink, but no clubs or anything.
 
I don't think there is a way out without hurt feelings. Are you close with your boss? Can you say that he says you can't bring someone with you?? Can you blame say wow..your DH has cleared his schedule and your mom can take the kids, so he is coming with you??

She had no right to invite her. Did you ask her where her friend plans on sleeping?? That the hotel room you have only has a occupancy of 2??
 
Probably not the best answer, but I would lie. Get SUPER excited and say, "Guess what? I hate to ruin your day, but we were able to get a babysitter so my DH is coming with me after all!! I am kind of bummed though, you won't be able to stay with me now. Unless you want to crash on the floor next to my snoring husband....We'll have to barhop another time!!!"

And..oddly enough..your plans fall through the night before, and you will be alone. Darn.
 
Deals off- you invited one person not 2. Talk with the person you originally invited and explain that it was a one person deal. She made the mess now she gets to clean it up. If not- go alone.

I vote for this. Good luck!
 
I don't think there is a way out without hurt feelings. Are you close with your boss? Can you say that he says you can't bring someone with you?? Can you blame say wow..your DH has cleared his schedule and your mom can take the kids, so he is coming with you??



She had no right to invite her. Did you ask her where her friend plans on sleeping?? That the hotel room you have only has a occupancy of 2??

I might just tell her that my Mom will keep the kids and hubby is coming. I'm thinking that might be the only way. I did tell her there was ONE king bed and they both cheerfully said we could all squeeze in, b/c "we would be so drunk it wouldn't matter where we slept".:rolleyes: Ummmm, no, I won't be getting snockered with 7 am classes.
 
Un-invite both of them--no way no how should you give them the room the boss paid for & pay for one for yourself. Co-worker A had no right to invite co-worker B. I don't care if you're good friends with both of them, it wasn't up to A to invite B. It sucks to go alone, but I guess that's the best thing right now. And I wouldn't lie & say that DH can come or blame it on the boss (unless he/she is against it.) Yes, their feelings will be hurt, but they obviously don't care about yours.

Good luck.
 
Who really cares if you hurt anyone's feelings? They clearly are using you and don't care. I would tell the person that you actually invited that you are going to have to uninvite her. You will have plenty of work to do and don't want to share your bed with 2 other drunkards.
 
I might just tell her that my Mom will keep the kids and hubby is coming. I'm thinking that might be the only way. I did tell her there was ONE king bed and they both cheerfully said we could all squeeze in, b/c "we would be so drunk it wouldn't matter where we slept".:rolleyes: Ummmm, no, I won't be getting snockered with 7 am classes.


:scared1::eek::sick:


Good luck!!!
 
Hurting their feelings? They had no problem hurting yours. Tell them the truth, is my advice.
 
I would just tell the friend you are so sorry she misunderstood, but you can only take one person along. Tell her it just simply is not possible to have the extra person. Don't hem and haw over it or make up an excuse she can counter, like I don't mind sleeping on the floor or I will get another room. Just tell her it isn't possible, you can only take one.
 
I would be furious too. I don't think you can get out of this without hurting some feelings. I wouldn't worry. They didn't care about your feelings when they made thier plans.
 
Deals off- you invited one person not 2. Talk with the person you originally invited and explain that it was a one person deal. She made the mess now she gets to clean it up. If not- go alone.

:thumbsup2
I recently had this happen to me, but we're teenage girls so obviously it was a different story. ;) I didn't really care as the other girl I've been casual with for a long time, but we're not best friends. It irked me for a bit as I totally didn't remember saying it was okay for her to come.
But when business is involved, you need to cover YOUR butt and not THEIRS. Don't feel bad about hurting their feelings because they don't have any remorse about hurting yours.
 
Deals off- you invited one person not 2. Talk with the person you originally invited and explain that it was a one person deal. She made the mess now she gets to clean it up. If not- go alone.

Who really cares if you hurt anyone's feelings? They clearly are using you and don't care. I would tell the person that you actually invited that you are going to have to uninvite her. You will have plenty of work to do and don't want to share your bed with 2 other drunkards.


Exactly. They are the ones being rude, and they are obviously knuckleheads. Just tell the first person and let her tell the second.
 












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