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[dazzling]

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[WizardLarz]

Invisible, No. I've found that I need to be the one to start the conversation in most cases. I've taken the advice of several others on the Solo boards and have eaten at the Bar area of the Restaurants that offer it. If I see someone looking lost, I offer to help. If I here someone spoutting wrong information I try to offer my advice if they're willing to listen. I do think my advantage is that I look like the older know-it uncle that everyone ask for help from. I will not shy away from going as a Solo male, even though I'd love to share Disney with someone else.

 

[Loftus]

Without major surgery I couldn't tell you what sort of experience a solo female traveller would have, but I have to say that my first solo trip last year was a similar one to yours. I think the only people I struck up conversations with were a couple of CM's at the bus stops, servers in restaurants and the only other guest on a a bus to SS.
To qualify that, I'm not the sort of bloke who finds it massively easy just to strike up conversations and so that will obviously have an impact, however I'm also not a total shrinking violet either. I suspect that, to a small degree, there is a touch of the "why would a single guy want to holiday at a family resort" going on, even though there are quite a few of us.
Mind you it didn't bother me overly as I too am returning in September. Maybe I'll try a new brand of deodorant before then!

 

[erincon23]

I'm sorry you had that experience, but glad it didn't dampen your enjoyment! As a solo female traveler, I have had quite a few people strike up conversations -- but often as not, I'm the one to comment and start the conversation. I think couples and older people feel more comfortable talking to a woman than a man. As a married solo female traveler, I'd be less likely to start a conversation with a man, just for propriety's sake (although I wouldn't turn away from a man starting a conversation with me, but I'd be very wary of "turns" in the conversation, if you know what I mean -- I'm no beauty, but I have had men at Disney try to suggest dinner -- whether they're suggesting JUST dinner, I don't know because I don't let it get that far).

It wouldn't surprise me if people are more likely to assume that you would be just waiting for your family to come out of the bathroom or off a ride. I think a solo female gives off a different vibe than a man does -- many men are just generally more independent-seeming, and it's tough to tell if they're on their own or waiting for their group.

 

[LockShockBarrel]

Well obviously any solo male is there to steal kids, dye their hair and change their clothes before you're even out of the park and do any number of things to the kid while solo females are just lonely motherly types that enjoy seeing joy on children's faces.

Unfortunately, stereotypes are stereotypes for a reason you know? How often do you hear about female pedophiles? Not NEARLY as often as you hear about male ones. I think you'll run into that pretty much anywhere there's large gatherings of kids. Perceptions aren't easy to change, even if they're wrong.

 

[ScottFL82]

Well obviously any solo male is there to steal kids, dye their hair and change their clothes before you're even out of the park and do any number of things to the kid while solo females are just lonely motherly types that enjoy seeing joy on children's faces.

Unfortunately, stereotypes are stereotypes for a reason you know? How often do you hear about female pedophiles? Not NEARLY as often as you hear about male ones. I think you'll run into that pretty much anywhere there's large gatherings of kids. Perceptions aren't easy to change, even if they're wrong.

This is a really unfortunate sterotype. It is not fair that us single guys that are good people with no hidden agenda automatically get put into a category like this by some people. It is just unfair. When I go solo, I end up avoiding conversation for this very reason. I always feel like someone is thinking this in the back of their mind, and it is just not the case. One of my visits solo, I was riding the bus back to the resort after the park closed and everyone was just tired from the long day. There was a little girl sitting next to me on the bus. She ended up falling asleep, and using my shoulder as her pillow...it was really cute, she was so exhausted, but the whole time I was perinoid that someone would be thinking something that was NOT the case. So I guess, in responce to your post. I understand there is a stigma (IMO) to the solo male traveler, but in most (I would be foolish to say all) cases there is not a hidden agenda. I hate that our society has changed so much, that this is an issue for me when I go vacation. Sorry for the rant, but it is just unfair. I love going to Disney, and if I wasn't single I would not choose to go solo, but if I want to go, I gotta do it solo.

 

[LockShockBarrel]

Is there really any fair stereotype though?

 

[ScottFL82]

Is there really any fair stereotype though?

Definitely not. It does bother me, but I am not going to let it ruin my Disney trips. I am only 17 days away from my trip!

 

[Magpie]

I was sort of a solo female traveller for a week last fall, as my husband was off at a conference all day. I toured all the parks by myself.

I got into lots of spontaneous conversations with people, and had a great time making new friends. Once I let an "eh" drop into my conversation and the old American couple I was talking to immediately started quizzing me on our Canadian health care.

I did notice one odd thing, though... Whenever I started chatting with a family ahead of me in line, or on the bus or boat, or waiting for a show, I almost always ended up chatting with the Dad. Even if I started out talking to the Mom, I'd end up having the bulk of the conversation with the Dad, while the Mom smiled, or looked after the kids, or paid attention to something else.

I would have expected the opposite, to be honest. Still, at least none of the women seemed put out by me chatting with their husbands!

Oh... and my favorite memory? Taking the TTA and being in a train all by myself, getting stalled on the tracks and looking across to see a man on a totally different train, also all by himself. We had fun waving at each other until the ride started up again.

 

[Amysita]

I'm gonna offer up another stereotype that might shed light from a different direction. Stereotype: women are all damsels in distress that require protection...I think this is one of many reasons why solo women travelers get 'adopted'...the 'adopters' think they're rescuing us???

 

[princessdawn2011]

That really stinks to all you guys out there. I go alone frequently & think people just talk to me because I'm friendly. I met a woman there once though that was a little too friendly for me. Not touchy feely, but after a cup of tea in a public place she wanted to be BFFs. It was creepy. I don't get that feeling from men. I don't notice other solo folks either. Sometimes people are surprised that I may be riding a ride alone or dining alone. I sit in the dining room regularly. Don't usually share that I'm traveling alone-for safety. There truly are weirdos everywhere!

 

[aVASTGrl]

This is a really interesting discussion and it's not something I've ever really thought about. I haven't been to WDW solo yet...hopefully this fall...but when I'm at the parks with my family and I see a lone male, if I notice at all, I assume he's just waiting for his companions, or going on a ride while the wife and kids do something else. In other words, I've never thought anything nefarious was going on!

I certainly wouldn't have a problem chatting with a solo male traveler, but I also wouldn't necessarily initiate a conversation, mostly because when I'm by myself, I tend to just zone out in my own little world! Next time I'm at the parks, I will keep my eyes peeled for you solo guys, and try to be a friendly face!

 

[Needafix]

I also assume single men at Disney are waiting for the rest of their families. Plus, being a single woman, the last thing I want to do is give anyone the wrong impression about why I might be speaking to their significant others.

I'm usually content to tour without much conversation, but when I want conversation I find the opportunities are usually plentiful especially after being on these boards. There's usually some small tip I can give people that helps strike up a conversation.

One last thought, I often think people who are alone are enjoying their peace and quiet and I don't want to be the one to disturb them.

 

[LockShockBarrel]

I generally think men alone are just waiting for their parties BUT it depends a lot on where they are and how they're behaving.

 

[Roythe13th]

I think this is an interesting topic and something I can relate to. Being a male, I can't really compare if it is easier to be social as a female than male being solo at Disney but I do think there are factors that can make it easier for a guy.

Some background first. I am almost 39 but people normally guess late 20's/early 30's. I am also very "pooh sized" i.e. overweight with a light beard. I'm told I'm like a big teddy bear. Speaking of being referred to as a bear, I am also gay. Although DisneyWorld is closer, I go to Disneyland much more often. I have only been to WDW once (second trip is later this month) but have been to DL many times.

I love solo trips! My only WDW trip back in 2009 was a solo trip. With Disneyland, I have done both solo and with friends. Usually it is me solo during the day and during the week and local friends tend to meet me in the evenings and/or weekends. I have a DL annual pass so I often just go for a few hours on some days out there. My upcoming WDW trip will be a mix of both. I am meeting friends for gay days/star wars weekend and some bear events on May 31st for a 4 day weekend. I've decided to arrive in Orlando on Memorial Day and stay at All Stars Movie resort and have 3 days of solo touring. That way, I can go to what park I want to, ride what I want when I want, eat when and where I want and rest all the time I need. When I meet up with friends later in the week, it will more of a social event. Because I've already done what I want, I can be more go with the flow.

Here is why I think my solo visits have been successful:

1. I think Disneyland resort is a better resort for solo travelers than WDW. Disneyland has many more locals than WDW and many of these locals are solo in the parks. They are just popping in before or after work or on their day off. I would say 75% of all my social interactions on solo trips have been with solo locals. They seem very helpful on getting you to the right place or giving tips. I think they are much more likely to notice something like an unusual pin or lanyard or something else you are wearing and strike up a conversation. This is their home away from home. They are not ride commandos or feel they need to get every last dollar worth from their admission. They have annual passes and can go anytime so I think they are much more relaxed than people at WDW.

2. Although I do not wear any kind of indication that I am gay (except red at gay day events), I think gaydar does exist especially with women and they don't perceive me as hitting on them or anything and have often been very friendly to me in the parks.

3. I think it does help to always have a smile and be outgoing regardless of your sex. Look like you are always having a good time and happy to be there. Engage people. Don't be afraid to start a conversation. I almost always get a good response. For example, last year I was at Disneyland on a Sunday evening with friends. They left at sunset and I stayed at the park (I LOVE Disneyland at night). I was tired and was waiting for the train at the Tomorrowland station. This college aged girl comes up behind me in line. She is alone and seemed frustrated. I told her "Smile. You are at the happiest place on Earth!" then I paused and added "And remember that next month when you get your credit card bill". She laughed and we started talking. Apparently she had a fight with her boyfriend. We continued talking on board the train and did an entire loop. She did most of the talking and I listened mostly. I told her I was getting off at New Orleans Square to ride Haunted Mansion and she said she would ride it too. We also ended up watching most of Fantasmic together before it was time to call it a night. She gave me her phone number when she left but I lost it. I don't know if she knew I was gay or was interested in me but I like to chalk it up as she just needed someone to talk to that evening and that's all I took from it.

I have also heard you should wear something of some kind of personal matter that might make people strike up a conversation. Like I'm from Kentucky and a solo person from here might want to wear a UK tee or hat (please don't over do it though like most people here. Ugh). They just won the NCAA championship, so a college basketball fan or someone from Kentucky might strike up a conversation with you. A doorman let me skip the cover charge at a club in LA once when he saw my Kentucky ID. I wasn't alone but we talked for awhile about how he was from Louisville and how he sometimes missed "back home". Give people a reason to talk to you.

 

[RealBlast3]

I have been to Disney World twice solo and and am a dude in my early '30s. I have had quite a few very enjoyable conversations.

I book alot of dining reservations and almost always click with my waiter or waitress as well as of course the Disney characters.

I shared a "car" seat at the Sci-Fi Dine in at Hollywood Studios with a family and had a great convo with the dad - he even knew someone who worked at the university hospital I work at in NY!

I have even had some quite meaningful conversations at times! There was this one lovely waitress from South Africa at Jiko in Animal Kingdom Lodge who was wonderful to me, as we both talked about losing our moms.

The waiters and waitresses at Victoria and Alberts also have made me feel incredibly welcome and I know some of them on a first name basis, such as Mike.

I had a great convo on one of the boat rides to a resort as well with the driver and one of the passengers. Had a wonderful convo with the bartender at Jiko as well - he was even from Long Island, just like me, and gay, just like me!

I mean, it happens here and there but obviously not all the time. I have a very young, boyish face and a friendly appearance and am quite approachable - so that might be why I've had positive interaction with my 2 solo trips. I try to always be friendly, and like the last poster said, have a smile. So, I've been pretty fortunate to have had some nice moments to break up the alone time of my trip.

I'm going again next month and I look forward to more happy surprising moments with fellow Disney visitors!

 

[DisNorth]

I'm gonna offer up another stereotype that might shed light from a different direction. Stereotype: women are all damsels in distress that require protection...I think this is one of many reasons why solo women travelers get 'adopted'...the 'adopters' think they're rescuing us???

I've experenced this a lot! I'm not a particularly outgoing person and Although I am still fairly young-ish I'm not particularly pretty but when I travel I find people see me alone, and try to 'adopt' me. Sometimes I just really wish to be left alone but I've had some really great experences too.

I can see why solo men, especialy somewhere people think are more 'for kids' would have a harder time. It's too bad, but glad OP isn't letting it put a damper on his trips!

 

[klmall]

I've only done one solo prior to my upcoming solo and I remember having no trouble striking up conversations with anyone: lines, on buses, in restaurants and at food courts. I found myself starting many of those conversations about the ride or the weather whatever!

DH and DS says I do the same when I am traveling with them as well so it's normal for me!

 

[aVASTGrl]

I have been to Disney World twice solo and and am a dude in my early '30s. I have had quite a few very enjoyable conversations.

I book alot of dining reservations and almost always click with my waiter or waitress as well as of course the Disney characters.

I shared a "car" seat at the Sci-Fi Dine in at Hollywood Studios with a family and had a great convo with the dad - he even knew someone who worked at the university hospital I work at in NY!

I have even had some quite meaningful conversations at times! There was this one lovely waitress from South Africa at Jiko in Animal Kingdom Lodge who was wonderful to me, as we both talked about losing our moms.

The waiters and waitresses at Victoria and Alberts also have made me feel incredibly welcome and I know some of them on a first name basis, such as Mike.

I had a great convo on one of the boat rides to a resort as well with the driver and one of the passengers. Had a wonderful convo with the bartender at Jiko as well - he was even from Long Island, just like me, and gay, just like me!

I mean, it happens here and there but obviously not all the time. I have a very young, boyish face and a friendly appearance and am quite approachable - so that might be why I've had positive interaction with my 2 solo trips. I try to always be friendly, and like the last poster said, have a smile. So, I've been pretty fortunate to have had some nice moments to break up the alone time of my trip.

I'm going again next month and I look forward to more happy surprising moments with fellow Disney visitors!

I just noticed you're from Centereach!! I have family in Selden and Middle Island, so I head up to your area all the time!


I think that as long as you're willing to initiate a conversation with a smile on your face, you're more than likely to get what you put out. I know that sometimes if my mind is elsewhere, I have a tendency to look stand-offish or unhappy, even though that is not the case! It's something I'm going to have to be aware of on my solo trip!

 

[snarlingcoyote]

Okay, note to self: if DH and I see a solo male traveller behind or in front of us in line or whatnot, we will make a special effort to strike up a conversation.