Deer in Headlights

[Luv0fDisney]

These days I just don't know what to do. I feel like a deer in headlights, frozen with a dahhhhhhh blah expression on my face. My head is literally empty. I feel like an object and I just don't know what to do. Everything I think of i get a bit anxiety and if I think I have something my parents say "no you don't" sarcasticly like they are declining everything. I feel like I am wasting my time in everything I do and I just am tired of feeling this way.

I can't do this or that and when I do something, my parents have to "comment" on everything. Which is why I stopped going to the gym 3 years ago because my dad was ordering me to go every day etc. I had a schedule in mind but whenever I do have something he comes and makes me aggitated.

I feel alone in life emotionally. I don't trust any one and I know I have vented a lot on this website. I just don't have any emotion what so ever... I just "don't care" about anything anymore. Don't care what people say to me, DOn't care what people do. They just expect me to do A B C without any complaining like a freaking survent. When I do say NO they get mad. LIke i say no to dishes and doing errands that they can do on their own.

I just don't care any more because they didn't care about me when I first had symptoms of depression. They didn't care I was terrified out of the blue about literally everything and everywhere I turned I just am terrified. Alot of bad things have happened through out my life and I am just tired of everything going wrong. Tired of every small thing bothering me like crap. I don't have a future.

If I don't like a texture of something like ice cream melting too fast, to something falling 10x in a row it aggitates me. Its like I don't know what I am doing wrong. If i get sick like i am now with a flu/cold i just say why me. i know there are people who are battling cancer and other things but I'm suffering from something...but I don't know what. my parents say I'm normal. But i'm not.

 

[mommasita]

I can't remember your age? Are you of legal age to speak to a therapist without your parents consent? I think I have mentioned this before...

I think we have all been there. Just going through the motions, steaming along.. Honestly though, and I am FAR from any professional, speaking to someone is probably a start in the right direction.. An outsider looking in...

Depression is very hard for those around us to get.. Most loved ones would rather think it isn't really existent, because it is something they can't help with, unlike an injury... It is hidden, but it doesn't make it not there..

 

[donaldduck352]

You are not alone in this world feeling like this.I have battled this for years before relizing what it really is and I'm in my 40's and felt like that for well over twenty yrs.Here is a thread I started sometime ago about it and hope it helps you:[http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=2994889/I]
http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=1868858

 

[Luv0fDisney]

I am 26.... gonna be 27 on october 4th and i already feel Old.... I don't feel anything. i just feel like an it. NO emotions. Nothing. At least it feels like it. but as i am typing this tears are falling down from my eyes and I just am realizng that my life sucks. I found someone who posted a few years ago how exactly I feel:

How I feel in a Nut shell