I think a combination of Dream and Fantasy APs is the way to go.
That way, you have one Dream AP, which you can use to book your room only discounts, shopping discounts, restaurant discounts, etc. (by the way, I've used my Dream AP for 3 visits to DLRP in a year, and its paid for itself in just shopping/restaurant discounts alone in that time, bearing in mind that your whole party can use the discounts, as long as the Dream AP holder is present

).
I can't comment on specific package prices versus room only, but I can say that our 3 trips, on a package would have come to around £850 total. In reality, I've paid a total of £434 for accommodation (twice onsite with AP discount, once offsite and using Dream APs for EMH). So with my Dream AP cost added on, that comes to approx £580. My DD was 6 when I bought my Dream AP, so hers was completely free when I bought mine.
I can extend my AP for another 12 months as I have enough sponsors, so my Dream AP will be valid for 2 years instead of 1.
DD's pass expires beginning of October, so I will get a Fantasy pass for her this time around. Hopefully we will find onsite room only prices competitive enough in this coming year to stay onsite, but if not, she's now at an age where EMH is not an essential part of a DLRP visit for us.