Just checking in. Dad had his open heart surgery on Wednesday. I dare say, it went beautifully! It was an incredibly long day but the dr called at 5:30pm and said it had gone very well, he was very pleased, and he did 4 bypasses (the plan was 3-4, if 3 went well, he would do the 4th). We got to see him about 7:30 and honestly it wasn't as scary as I had anticipated/dreaded. His color was good, and he had a fantastic nurse who explained things so well. She was very happy with his status at that point. We went home and called back at 11 and they had removed the vent already! We arrived back the next morning around 9 and he was in a recliner and awake (albeit a little foggy from everything). He got to skip ICU and went straight to cardiac stepdown. They had already removed one of the two chest tubes. He walked a couple of times yesterday and continues to do well. I came back home last night and I must admit - I am exhausted. I worked today and my husband, daughter, and I are headed back tonight to my parents house because they are on the hoarding side and we are going to work on cleaning their place up so they can function better when they get home.
My mom has had moments during this which has made it hard. She wasn't able to stay with him the first night and she went off on my sister and I. She was tired and hungry but she was very hateful and hurtful. She did settle down but it's hard because she gets over it quickly and forgets, and we are left to cope. I am glad my sister and I have each other though! She is now staying around the clock with him but.... from a caregiver perspective, isn't a lot of help. But my parents are stuck together like glue so perhaps she brings him comfort of some sort just being there. And he is her security blanket so I know she is right where she wants to be.
As for spending I will say my mom is very generous when it comes to making sure everyone is fed (sadly she cannot find her own way to the cafeteria so she is also dependent on someone being around). She paid for all but one of my meals while we were at the hospital. I had packed a cooler with drinks so that helped too. I did buy some nuggets, via fast food, on my way there and back, but overall finances not hit much.
During the process that was the least of my concerns but it is a positive note as well.
On the note of perimenopause I am in the throws of it with a 15 year old in the house with very irregular periods... I think I would probably be nearly menopausal (at 46) if it wasn't for my daughter
She seems to keep my friend sporadically returning.
Yeah she was a great mom. I was so lucky to have her. She’s been gone almost 7 years now and I miss her so much. 
