Debt Advice Desperately Needed....Please!

[OceanAnnie]

I LIKE that idea. And that it wouldn't hit my credit unless I stop making payments. BUT.....I have to be honest with myself, will I be able to leave the darn thing frozen unless I need it for an emergency? I will still have a goal of only one credit card but if I keep the others frozen I can wait until they are paid off then close those accounts and hopefully not hitting the credit score quite as hard. I will think about this and try to be honest about my own ability to keep them frozen.

I read it was a real pain in the behind to try to unfreeze them. I think it might work! Or you could cut them up and just keep a record of them, not close them.

 

[OceanAnnie]

Oh, for the one cc you do keep, try to get one with a rewards program. Just an example, we have one cc through Upromise. We get I think it's like 1% back on all we spend. It sounds like nothing, but it does add up. You can put the 1% in a 529 plan, or have the money sent to you to save. We have it sent to us and I put the money in CDs for the kids. We may choose the 529 at some point, but for now I'm happy with the CDs. It's a great money back program.

Just thought I'd pass that along.

 

[C.Ann]

I was afraid this thread would take a downward spiral like this..

OP - you have been 100% honest about your situation - you are taking every action you can to rectify this situation - you have acknowledge that maybe you did things in the past that you should have done differently.. You have a lot of guts! What else does anyone want? Your blood??

Take the good advice and toss the criticism to the side..

Good luck! It seems like you're on the right track..

 

[friskykitten]

I was afraid this thread would take a downward spiral like this..

OP - you have been 100% honest about your situation - you are taking every action you can to rectify this situation - you have acknowledge that maybe you did things in the past that you should have done differently.. You have a lot of guts! What else does anyone want? Your blood??

Take the good advice and toss the criticism to the side..

Good luck! It seems like you're on the right track..

Well, I did take that risk. I was just surprised to see things get worse and worse as time went on. Kind of like that old telephone game where the original phrase is changed by the time the last person is to repeat it. I just let it get under my skin a bit. I am shaking it off and waiting for the next hit. We all know there will be at least one! It wouldn't be entertaining otherwise.

 

[dvcgirl]

I was afraid this thread would take a downward spiral like this..

OP - you have been 100% honest about your situation - you are taking every action you can to rectify this situation - you have acknowledge that maybe you did things in the past that you should have done differently.. You have a lot of guts! What else does anyone want? Your blood??

Take the good advice and toss the criticism to the side..

Well, I say take the good advice and *constructive* criticism.....toss the rest.

 

[Grumpy's Gal]

don't know if anyone is interested......Suze Orman was on Oprah today with wonderful financial advice for 2009. It all sounds harsh but she's right on the money.

I think you can go to Oprah's site and watch or listen to the webcast for free.


http://www.oprah.com/article/money/personalfinance/pkgyourmoney/20090112_sas_video

 

[princesslily]

I just gotta know, who is your mortgage company? Our's is GMAC and they will do absolutely nothing to help us! My husband is 100% commission at a Chrysler dealership and sales are not great. I wish our mortgage company would help a little. I don't quite know how long we can go without making a payment before we go into foreclosure.

 

[Dancemom03]

I just gotta know, who is your mortgage company? Our's is GMAC and they will do absolutely nothing to help us! My husband is 100% commission at a Chrysler dealership and sales are not great. I wish our mortgage company would help a little. I don't quite know how long we can go without making a payment before we go into foreclosure.

I wondered who your mortgage company was too. It's great that they worked with you before you got behind. I'd heard many companies won't do that but don't know from experience so of course I could be wrong.
We have Countrywide and, while I heard quite a while ago that BOA had taken them over, there didn't seem to be any change until the May statement which had BOA logo. I know how Countrywide operated, though I know many reported to have problems with them, we haven't had any major issues (knock on wood...) It did make me wonder though if any policies will change as a result of BOA now.

I also have a suggestion regarding selling your belongings - if you don't already have a paypal account, this would be a great time to set one up and be sure to request a paypal debit card - NOT CREDIT BUT DEBIT.
On the days/weeks when you're really short and need fast cash, you can list something on ebay with a buy it now at a bargain price. Like anything else, priced right, it'll sell fast and 5 seconds after someone sends your payment you can withdraw the cash from any ATM machine. If you do it at the grocery store, walmart or another store - you can avoid the ATM fees to pull $$ out to by purchasing a candy bar and paying with the PP debit with cash back option at the register.

 

[friskykitten]

I just gotta know, who is your mortgage company? Our's is GMAC and they will do absolutely nothing to help us! My husband is 100% commission at a Chrysler dealership and sales are not great. I wish our mortgage company would help a little. I don't quite know how long we can go without making a payment before we go into foreclosure.

Wachovia. I was actually surprised that they had the program as several of my co-workers have lost their homes or are in the process of losing their homes when they were let go. As soon as DH and I lost our jobs in the same week I called them to let them know what had happened. I also cancelled our phone, internet and cable from comcast immediately. So we went for almost a month without those while I waited for my verizon internet service to come in the mail and get hooked up. When verizon's modem came it wouldn't work. Numerous calls always took me to a foreign country and no one could figure out why it wasn't working when we were in a FIOS area. (I didn't order FIOS but rather their cheapest DSL option). Finally, I was told that there was something wrong from their end and it could take up to six months or more to fix it. By then we had the mortgage extension and getting to the library every day with a toddler to job hunt wasn't going too well. So I went back to comcast and was talked into the triple play again as internet alone was 2/3 of the cost of getting all three together. I was optimistic enough I thought I would be gainfully employed by now.

Dancemom03--Thank you for the paypal suggestion. I didn't know you could get your cash that quickly after receiving it.

 

[a1tinkfans]

I just gotta know, who is your mortgage company? Our's is GMAC and they will do absolutely nothing to help us! My husband is 100% commission at a Chrysler dealership and sales are not great. I wish our mortgage company would help a little. I don't quite know how long we can go without making a payment before we go into foreclosure.

I just don't get WHY they won't help It is disgraceful!

 

[lts862]

So telling someone who is in serious financial trouble that they should not take a deluxe vacation and should sell their time share to put food on their table is being judgmental? Hugs and prayers are great, but they won't change her financial situation.

It is really not that difficult to understand: if you ask for financial advice when you can barely pay for food but have 4 deluxe trips scheduled in a year, the correct and sound advice is to cancel those trips and use whatever money allocated to them to buy the basics.

The solution to a distressing financial situation is to do everything to get out of that situation, and not to keep doing the same as before but with nicer pep talks from random strangers.

As nasty as it might sound, "don't spend money you don't have on non-essential things and cancel those WDW trips" is a much, much better solution than "hugs and prayers but keep doing what you've been doing," and in the long run she will be much better off by listening to everyone who you think is being negative.

I have to agree. I wish the OP the best but she REALLY needs to see that these mistakes are ongoing, up until about what, 2 weeeks before she posted about their financial crisis? I don't think it is harsh or negative. Maybe the cold hard facts and seeing it in black and white is exactly the wake-up call she needs. Food for the family or conceirge level vacations.....hmmm....it really is a no brainer!!

 

[Kickapoo Joie Juice]

OP, I agree about cutting up the credit cards but not closing the accounts. You want to preserve your credit rating as much as possible for future needs.

It will keep you from spending on them (new cards take a couple of days to mail out, you should be over the spending impulse by then), but preserve your rating.

 

[wall*e2008]

Wachovia. I was actually surprised that they had the program as several of my co-workers have lost their homes or are in the process of losing their homes when they were let go. As soon as DH and I lost our jobs in the same week I called them to let them know what had happened. I also cancelled our phone, internet and cable from comcast immediately. So we went for almost a month without those while I waited for my verizon internet service to come in the mail and get hooked up. When verizon's modem came it wouldn't work. Numerous calls always took me to a foreign country and no one could figure out why it wasn't working when we were in a FIOS area. (I didn't order FIOS but rather their cheapest DSL option). Finally, I was told that there was something wrong from their end and it could take up to six months or more to fix it. By then we had the mortgage extension and getting to the library every day with a toddler to job hunt wasn't going too well. So I went back to comcast and was talked into the triple play again as internet alone was 2/3 of the cost of getting all three together. I was optimistic enough I thought I would be gainfully employed by now.

Dancemom03--Thank you for the paypal suggestion. I didn't know you could get your cash that quickly after receiving it.

Was that before or after Wells Fargo bought them?

 

[friskykitten]

Was that before or after Wells Fargo bought them?

Good question. Our statements still come to us under the Wachovia name but they were bought out by Wells Fargo. It took two months to arrange the extension so I believe it was Wells Fargo by then. I couldn't tell you when the buy out happened. Our mortgage has been through at least four mortgage companies over the life of the loan so far.


Its862--wake up call recieved, thank you!

Kickapoo Joie Juice--I am deferring to your expertise on this one! It does make more sense than closing the accounts too quickly. I had to have a quiet conversation with myself on freezing or closing as I didn't want to tempt myself into using them again. The freezer is working overtime today.

 

[mafibisha]

I'm topping this post from the OP because I think many people are missing it. It clarifies a bit more about her circumstances, many of which some seem to be ignored or exaggerated.

I agree with the poster who said the OP has become the poster-girl for our economy and the majority of people. I think the OP is brave to post here and I do wish you the best OP.

And regarding your #10, you are so not a 'loser' as unfortunately many are in the same situation as you are. And there are likely many that post here too, although they'd never admit it!

Correction: as this thread has continued our debt has seemed to grow with different people adding on to what my debt really is and with assumptions made. (I am not picking on you wall*e2008 nor blondietink I am just using your post for an example of how the story has grown). For example;

1. We do have 401k's although there is not a lot in them as the market has declined so much. We also have some other investments that most advisors would tell you not to tap into due to penalties but we will have to make that decision ourselves depending on how the next few months go.

2. We have one 2007 T&C mini-van, not two, and one very old truck that we paid $1 for. So there is not a loan on two high-dollar minivans but I am sure that helps to make me an even better example of how not to do things so let's add on another mini-van or maybe we can make it a 2010 model for an extra shock value.

3. We are not behind in any payments yet. At this time there is not utilities to 'catch up on'. Nor are there any missed or late credit card payments yet.

4. The mortgage is not behind or late. We will be making the next month's payment right on schedule so the rumor of foreclosure and being behind on the mortgage is also wrong. We were given a 3 month extension on the mortgage and they added the payments to the end of the mortgage. Foreclosure will be the main thing we will avoid.

5. My first post I said "We are a family with five children and have always had just enough money to get by from month to month. Not enough to put into savings but enough to pay all of the bills and anything that might pop up as a 'surprise'." But I never mentioned the savings we already have from tax refunds from the past few years. We did not have enough monthly income to put extra into savings but those tax refunds always went into a special account and we only touched them if we needed to. This money is there to help feed my children when it gets to the $50/week level. I did not want to touch it for the debt as it was there for emergencies. It is not enough to pay all our bills for an extended period of time.

6. What I did say was that we are going to be in trouble very very soon as the grace period on the mortgage was over and we would soon be dependent on the much lower monthly income we are bringing in with DH job and my unemployment. We are now going to have to start missing payments was the statement I made. I was looking for advice on what payments to miss vs. what was the most important to make. Mortgage was already first on my list.

7. Due to the fact that payments were going to start suffering I came here to get ADVICE, not sympathy and not demoralization. I got all three which is fine as I publically posted so I should have expected it. I was wanting to know what payments SHOULD be priority, what was going to happen when we miss some payments and in general what should we do to make things better.

8. Because of the help I got here I have been able to make several hard decisions including putting our DVC on the market which has now been listed since Tuesday.

9. I have publically admitted that we have been living above our means and have also publically stated that this "OP really does need to change her lifestyle, not just for the immediate future to get out of this mess". I also stated that I will do whatever it takes to pay all of my debt and will avoid bankruptcy at all costs. Selling the DVC, canceling our cable and phone, stepping up the amount of resumes I send out daily, etc. are all examples of what I have put into motion immediately upon getting this advice. So yeah, I think this OP is changing her lifestyle dramatically to get what needs to be done going. Will there be even more changes as time progresses? You betcha. All but one of the charge cards are going to be closed, which will make a hit on our credit but that isn't my main problem right now and I know it. It will also keep me from using them again and racking up more debt.

10. I will not be able to make everyone happy with how we are going about this but I believe that we are on well our way to making the right decisions to dig ourselves out. Will all my decisions be the right ones? No, but I never even hinted that I was perfect. Quite the opposite in fact. The debt will not disappear overnight but we will chip at it until it is gone. There really isn't anything else I can say to impress anyone that we are working on doing the right thing. But as others have told me about how the things that I owe money on are getting bigger and bigger in different posts I wanted to at least set some of it straight. We have already been over the fact that I am a big loser but do we have to make it an even bigger and bigger story?

11. The advice given here should go a long way to helping myself and others who may be in the same or similar situation but who may not be as eager to ask for advice. For that I have been willing to take the hits as I really believe the advice given can be used by more than myself but when extra mini-vans and talk that I am determined to go through bankruptcy started to pop up I had to make another appearance.

Dare I say that I am done with this thread again? I got what I came for and I would like to move on if I may, please.

OH! And no I am not related to, or even knew about, those that were mentioned in PP's. This situation is a fresh one and I am just another deadbeat to add to the list.

 

[Debbie Jean]

Well, I did take that risk. I was just surprised to see things get worse and worse as time went on. Kind of like that old telephone game where the original phrase is changed by the time the last person is to repeat it. I just let it get under my skin a bit. I am shaking it off and waiting for the next hit. We all know there will be at least one! It wouldn't be entertaining otherwise.

This is my own personal rant:

I cringe every time someone posts "I didn't read the whole thread but..." People who can't be bothered taking the time to read what others have already posted yet think it is important that others read what THEY want to post... YIKES!

When someone is in a personal crisis situation and asking for advice, may I suggest that before you decide to give your opinion, you actually take the time to thoroughly read and digest what has already been written? Don't tell me it's because you don't have the time. If you have the time to post, you have the time to read!! More to the point, your opinion is not more important than others and you may very well miss critical information.

BTW, that's why the "telephone game" works so well.. people don't bother to pay attention to everything that is being said and ask for clarification when there is a possibility of misunderstanding

Rant done.

FriskyKitten, do you know someone you would be comfortable asking to hold your CC's? I have done this for DD when she has asked and she found it helpful... we discussed the situation so there was a clear understanding of under what conditions I would give them back to her. I suggested freezing them but she was afraid she would be tempted to "un-freeze" them!

Good luck with the DVC sale!

 

[Belle5]

friskykitten,
I just wanted to say that I think you have handled this thread admirably well! You are a strong person and I know you are going to come out on top when all is said and done. Sorry you are having to go through this! You will be stronger for it in the end--kind of like our grandparents who made it through the Great Depression. Several years ago when we went nearly five months without a paycheck we learned to do things very differently and are better for it. We learned things that will stay with us as long as we live.

 

[friskykitten]

Mafishba--Thank you. I was afraid that would be overlooked by many offering help.

Debbie Jean--We moved to FL to get away from family. Not that I don't love them dearly but sometimes it is easier for your own family to bond without all of the well meaning interference of relatives. But your right! If I gave them to someone else I would have to justify to someone else WHY I needed to thaw them instead of just doing it myself. Great advice!

Belle5--I still don't know HOW our grandparents made it through the Great Depression. I remember reading 'No Promises on the Wind' and wondered where they found the strength to do what they did whether fictional characters or not. Of course, my grandparents turned into great hoarders too. They never threw anything away because they might need it again. My dad is still going through everything they had; most of it unusable 'junk'. I hope the US never gets to that point again.

 

[Debbie Jean]

Of course, my grandparents turned into great hoarders too. They never threw anything away because they might need it again. My dad is still going through everything they had; most of it unusable 'junk'. I hope the US never gets to that point again.

My Dad who passed away just last year was the eldest of 9 children growing up in the depression and could squeeze a quarter till it cried. Like your grandparents, he was also a hoarder and used to say to me "before you buy anything, ask me first, because I've probably got it here in the house somewhere!"

BTW, he loved to ice skate well into his 80's and still used the pair his mother bought him used at a rummage sale for $.25! He would take them to be sharpened every year and whenever we tried to get him new skates, he always insisted these were still in great shape. For Christmas, his birthday, Father's Day he would always say 'the best present you can give me is to save your money". Ah, the voice of experience!

 

[jodifla]

Hey Friskykitten, I just wanted to wish you all the best! You have been really graceful with some less-than-helpful posts.

The truth is, anybody could be in your shoes if both workers lost their jobs. Anybody who thinks otherwise is kidding themselves. Eventually, if you are unemployed long enough, you run out of money, and you start living on credit.

Another newsflash for folks: People went on vacations even in the Great Depression!

Now, they were different kids of vacations, but my dad specifically told me tales about piling into the car and heading for relative's houses so they could journey to the 1933 Chicago World's Fair. They were farmers with no money, but they were smart enough to realize that all fun didn't go out the window, even in the Great Depression.