Dear God,
why? why did you have to take my dad away from me, i didnt even know him. when i was a week old and had a stroke, you let me live, but when i was 5 you took away my father, because of a stroke. you put him throught so much pain, fighting for his life FOR ME!!! and that did nothing for you, you still took him. no affense, but i think your selfish, he had a family, and you took that away. you the chance to take me, when no one knew me and i didnt know what was going on, i still dont. But you took apart of me away, you took my dad, the one that loved me and tried his best for me, and taught me everything i know, well maybe not everything, but alot of things. I had to watch girls with their dads in girl scouts, i have to watch everyone on fathers day, have a great time with their fathers, i can never have a father daughter dance, i cant have him walk me down the isle when i get married, hell never be there to interigate my boyfriends, he wont be able to be a grandfather to my future children. you basically took half my life away, why couldnt you take the whole thing when you had the chance??? I know he suffered before he died, if you had to let hm die, why couldnt you let him die with out suffering??? He knew it was the last time he would see me, but i didnt know it was ast time i would see him or talk to him, or know him.
some people ask me why i do so well in school and why i planned my life out even though im only 14, its because of my dad. if he had to go through that and was still happy and did everything everyone else did, why cant i do that but better, because i dont have the disease that he did. i want him to be proud of me for what i do, and when i dont do what i know that i can i get mad at myself, and people yell at me for being so hard on myself, but they dont get it, i dont do it for me, i do it for my dad, i feel like if i dont do what i know i can i fail, and im not good enough, and i feel like i failed my whole family. I feel like i need to talk to someone, but i dont want to upset people, and make them feel sorry for me, and i dont want to talk to my mom cuz i dont want to make her upset and worry about me, and i dont want to disrupt other peoples lives for my problems.
thanks for taking one of the most important people away from me,
kristy