Dealing with friends that well are.... in a word... Cheap

[Welsh_Dragon]

Perhaps they have some debts that you are not aware of. I cannot abide meanness.

 

[bookgirl]

Sharing a hotel room-yea no. We have friends who went to Vegas with a group and one of the couples said 3 couples could share a room and set up a sleeping schedule. lol

I have friends who in their 20's would do stuff like that when they went to conventions or events. Literally 6-8 people all sharing a room. But that's a young adult/broke/still able to sleep on the floor and walk the next day mind set. Once you're an adult, that's just crazy.

 

[Welsh_Dragon]

We had a cookout once and invited a couple we had recently met. They arrived with some cupcakes she had made, which were on a styrofoam plate covered with foil. At the end of the night she asked me for the paper plate and foil back. I laughed thinking she was kidding. She wasn’t and she had me dig them out of the trash. I decided to give her another chance and I picked her up to take her with me to another friends snd she had clothesline strung across her kitchen with paper towels and ziplock bags clipped to it, drying them for reuse. She seemed so normal but did some weird things to save money

Saving the planet?! Reusing paper towels is just appalling.

 

[White Cat]

We would move on from them.

 

[TwoMisfits]

I think I'm in the "it's time to chat" category.

I had a sis-in-law who was this frugal and always ordered the cheapest thing on the menu no matter where we ate out - of course, her spouse didn't, and that upset her, and so it was a very weird dynamic. After a chat, she admitted she just couldn't stomach how much it cost and to see the cost on menus, and this is why she had always cruised/done all-inclusives for vacation (out of sight, out of mind)...so that's how we did our next trip with her, and it went great.

And, knowing how she felt, if I picked a place and I knew it wasn't cheap, I picked up the tab and let them know in advance (and my brother always reciprocated later for a different cheaper activity, like 1/2 price Dave and Busters games for the kids or donuts at Dunkin Donuts or something)...

But, she was family...and you do more for family (and she was very cool except for the menu ordering weirdness)...

 

[bcla]

I'm frugal to a point, but I try not to be a downer with anyone about it. I certainly wouldn't be obsessive about how much someone else chooses to spend money.

Reminds me of stories I heard in Tahoe by blackjack dealers about a specific celebrity who loved to play, had way too much money, but would never tip a dealer. And he would complain when anyone else tipped a dealer.

 

[Kae]

I have friends who in their 20's would do stuff like that when they went to conventions or events. Literally 6-8 people all sharing a room. But that's a young adult/broke/still able to sleep on the floor and walk the next day mind set. Once you're an adult, that's just crazy.

Right. I have friends that did a cruise 4 couples total and they flew in the night before and got 2 rooms guys in one girls in the other. And they said that was a blast for 1 night. that I can see.

 

[JoeA]

This reminds me of some neighbors of ours. Several years ago we all went to a concert and one of my buddies bought the tickets for the entire group and we all were just going to pay him back.

One guy, who never met my ticket buying friend until now, gave him cash to cover the face value of the ticket only and said he refused to pay for the Ticket Master service fee because he thought it was a rip off.

I gave my buddy enough to cover the fee, had a few words for the other guy, and never went anywhere with them again!

 

[nicolita3]

Perhaps that have some debts that you are not aware of. I cannot abide meanness.

Even if they have debts they shouldn't be upset if other people do things that are expensive or expect people to go out of their way to help them.

 

[OhDannyBoy]

Your friends would not like me.

I never cater to people who insist on being a pain and will brutally call them out and embarrass them. If they need help, that is a completely different story.

But if you want to vacation and hang out with our group, then you are going to do as the group does or sit out.

We went to dinner with a friend who was just like this. He kept complaining about price and saying the service was too slow. So I told him in a not so subtle voice that there's a McDonald's down the street I think will satisfy you and stop complaining about the service, you're not going to tip anyways so shut up. He got mad and left. We don't do dinners with him anymore.

 

[Christine]

We have friends a little like that, except that there is a significant difference in our incomes. Great people, but a little on the cheap side.

For example, one time we had some DVC points to burn so we made an OKW trip during Christmas break. They would not go to Disney parks because of the cost, only Universal. And the stayed only one night with us in a 2 BR because of food and activity costs (they were paying $0 for lodging). Needless to say, we haven't considered taking any more trips with them.

When we go to dinner together, we have them pick the restaurant so we won't be out of their price range. We always order at least one appetizer for the table, usually two. They split their entre.

Still, they are great people and some of our best friends so we just smile and move on. The friendship is worth much more than a few minor annoyances.

Well they don't seem to take advantage of you whatsoever, which is great!

 

[OhDannyBoy]

Perhaps that have some debts that you are not aware of. I cannot abide meanness.

Then a vacation in Vegas probably isn't a great idea.

 

[SharonZ]

I don't think it even warrants a conversation because it wouldn't go well. I'd move on, it's more than time. If they don't have the money, then they should politely decline. As far as the use of the warehouse club membership, that would be the last straw for me.

 

[JimMIA]

I'm in the "drift apart, rather than confront" camp. I personally don't think I am eloquent enough to change a core aspect of someone else's personality, so I don't think talking would do much good. Cheap is just the way some people live, and you either accept it or not.

 

[Micca]

That wore me out just reading that! I couldn't deal with that, I'm afraid the socializing would come to an end. They don't understand the courtesy of reciprocating with friends, whether you wish to school them on that is up to you. I'm sure I wouldn't. The rest of the folks in your group will have a much better time without them.

 

[JimMIA]

Well they don't seem to take advantage of you whatsoever, which is great!

Right. In fact, they are the ones who throw parties for all their friends and relatives every month (in normal times, of course -- not for the last year+). They are frugal, but giving as well -- definitely not freeloaders. They just have things they will spend money on, and other things they won't.

 

[Pink Partridge]

Perhaps that have some debts that you are not aware of. I cannot abide meanness.

Then they need to stay home if they are in debt. They need to stop going on vacation. That adds an entirely different level to their selfishness. "We have debt, but we are going anyway. Pick up our breakfast tab."

I do agree with the meanness. Die hard cheap people need to stop being mean by constantly mooching from others.

 

[Pink Partridge]

We went to dinner with a friend who was just like this. He kept complaining about price and saying the service was too slow. So I told him in a not so subtle voice that there's a McDonald's down the street I think will satisfy you and stop complaining about the service, you're not going to tip anyways so shut up. He got mad and left. We don't do dinners with him anymore.

Good for you. It is so incredibly rude to sit there and be negative and complain while people are trying to have a nice experience.

 

[DLgal]

This is so far beyond just being frugal or cheap. This is manipulative and borderline emotionally abusive behavior. You don't need "friends" like this. Tell them bluntly that you no longer wish to spend time with them due to their extreme unsavory behavior regarding money.

 

[Welsh_Dragon]

Then they need to stay home if they are in debt. They need to stop going on vacation. That adds an entirely different level to their selfishness. "We have debt, but we are going anyway. Pick up our breakfast tab."

I do agree with the meanness. Die hard cheap people need to stop being mean by constantly mooching from others.

We have an expression ‘all fur coat and no knickers (or drawers)’! It basically refers to someone who pretends to have wealth or substance.