DD's Textbooks Missing - Update Post #9

[DVCLiz]

DD16 took her new textbooks to school Monday, in a brown paper grocery bag with her name written on the side in red magic marker. (This was the way all books were delivered to the students, so plenty of kids have been coming in with the same paper bag.) She tried to put them in her locker but the combination was incorrect. She had to be at a sports practice, so she simply left the books in the hall in front of her locker. The next morning the books were missing.

Now if this had been her laptop or something like that, I would feel a little differently. But textbooks? Couldn't you assume a bag of books could be left in a hallway overnight, in a small private school that had an Honor Code?

Both her dad and a friend of mine have implied that she was irresponsible and should be made to replace them herself. She said she knew it was totally her fault, but really didn't think that books would be stolen.

Another student has just found his books in the recycling bin, so DD is going to check and see if hers were accidently recycled as well. SO I hope we will have a happy ending. If not, I'm not sure what I will do.

Would this be a total no-brainer for you, a work it off until you have replaced them situation? Would you think the school had some involvement for a theft on school property? How would you handle it???

 

[Toby'sFriend]

Well, that is a tough lesson to learn. I completely sympathize with her because I am totally irresponsible with belongings myself. DH is always nagging me for running off in parking lots without locking the car.

But yeah, I would make my kid responsible for a pretty good portion of the cost. The books were in her care and she needs to be careful with them.

I would probably only make my son work off about $100 though. That is a couple of weekends of yardwork around the neighborhood and more than enough to grab his attention.

 

[pirateofthecarolinas]

Speak with the janitor.

Lori

 

[golfgal]

I would certainly make her pay for them. First, why didn't she just take them with her to practice and then home? Just because there is an honor code doesn't mean everyone will abide by that. I would also have her check in the office, lost and found and with the custodian to see if someone picked them up. The school has no responsibility in this matter, at all. She shouldn't have left them lying around, end of story.

 

[stinkerbelle]

Speak with the janitor.

Lori

I agree...s/he probably did a sweep of the halls after students left, and tossed anything in his path...as is his/her job.

I would never expect something I left in a hallway to be there the next day...honor code or not

 

[LindaR]

She was responsible for the books, period. Why do you think that the books are any less valuable than any other item? You stated that there's an "honor system" in place. Would she leave her purse on the floor outside of her locker? Don't think so.........even though she probably has ID inside her purse. She needs to pay for the replacement. Hard lesson to learn, but if you cover her rear on this, she will learn nothing.

 

[DVCLiz]

Still missing, so I went to school and double checked with DD. She's asked all janitorial staff, secretaries, etc. Her Spanish teacher saw them at 5:30pm but that was the last "sighting." So looks like DD will owe me for some new books!! I purchased a new set today from the bookstore, and the staff member said she would let me have them for cost. As this will be a couple of hundred dollars at leat, I don't know exactly how DD will be required to "earn" them back. I'm thinking she'll be busy helping me with some extra household chores for quite a while!!!!

 

[Sparx]

Text books are VERY expensive. I would NEVER just leave mine sitting in the hallway. She should have taken them to practice with her, then back home. I would make her replace them.

 

[DVCLiz]

Well, the mystery is solved. The teachers cleaned out their classrooms on Monday and Tuesday, and several of them put trash out in the halls to be thrown away. So even though the cleaners had been told not to throw anything away unless it was in a trash can or specifically marked "Trash", they picked up DD's bag and tossed it. The Dean of Students just called me and told me that he heard about it one day too late to retreive them from the dumpster. He's insisting that the school pay for the new books.

I told him I thought that wasn't fair, but he felt that the school's Honor Code was at stake. He finally said he would follow my lead. And in my haste I think I told him that I would accept a fifty/fifty deal.

But, now that I think about it, I would owe all of the first set of books anyway, and the most I would let them do would be to split half of the replacement set. And I did ask that both sets be priced at cost (I don't know what the markup is, but when I went into the bookstore today the staff member told me that she would let me have them for cost). So I'd end up paying for the first set at cost and half of the second set at cost.

Does that seem fair, or, knowing what the circumstances were, should I pay for the full second set as well? And if I insist on paying for the second set, is it fair to ask that I pay cost, or should I pay the "retail" price?

 

[Kermit]

I think that your arrangement is fine. If the custodial staff was told not to throw anything not labeled as trash away, they shouldn't have thrown the books away.

BTW, I'm amazed that they mark up the books. I knew that colleges marked textbooks up, but I just never considered that private high schools would.

 

[DVCLiz]

I think that your arrangement is fine. If the custodial staff was told not to throw anything not labeled as trash away, they shouldn't have thrown the books away.

BTW, I'm amazed that they mark up the books. I knew that colleges marked textbooks up, but I just never considered that private high schools would.

Thank you, Kermit, for your helpful and pleasant response. I'm really in a sweat about this, so I appreciate your words more than you know!!

And yeah, what's up with the markup????? Although I know this school seldom misses a chance to ask for money from parents, I was really surprised to see that there was additional cost for textbooks. Maybe they justify it on the basis of having to pay for the bookstore or something, I don't know.

Now I'm thinking I might ask them to split it in thirds, and DD would earn her portion, I would pay a third, and the school would reimburse a third. I think there's a middle ground here that answers my need to make a point with DD while respecting her as a great kid who is usually extremely responsible - it was just a last-minute decision that could have gone either way.


BTW, DD and I looked at Wofford and Furman several weeks ago. LOVED Greenville - what a pretty city!!!!

 

[DisneyLovingMama]

Personally, I would let the school pay for them and ask that they find a job for DD to do in the office or something. I'm sure they have tons of copying and filing that needs to be done. That way, you're not out of pocket any money, but DD still "gets the point."

I wouldn't be too hard on DD. The school was at fault several times - wrong combination, throwing things out that shouldn't have been, etc. At DD's age, I probably would have done the same thing, thinking "Who would WANT these things, anyway?" Seems like she's been sweating it out and doing the legwork by going to the office and talking to people about it. I'd cut her a break. But, I'm only the mom of a five-year-old. Maybe in 11 years, I'll feel differently.

 

[nemo1987]

I hope your DD will take this as the lesson "Don't trust anybody at school" I mean her school is private, but I still would make sure she knows not to leave her things around where other people can get to them. Make sure she locks everything up and takes care of her belongings or there probably will be consequences. I learned my lesson and I never let my things out of my sight! Glad everything is straightened out and I think your arrangement is a good one. It was generous of the school to offer to pay for the books, not many places would.
-Sarah

 

[DVCLiz]

Thank you - it's VERY hard for me to really come down hard on her, because most of the time she's a terrific kid. My natural inclination is to say, "Oh, you poor dear! Never mind, I'll just take care of that for you!!!" So I'm trying to find a middle ground here.

It was generous of the school to offer. I think some of that comes from the laptop fiasco of 10th grade. The school requires each student 6th grade up to have a laptop (that parents pay for, in addition to tuition). It was not cheap!!!! So DD and her friends were told they could store them in a locked classroom during volleyball practice. Needless to say, someone on staff left the room unlocked, and four laptops were stolen. (Never solved, but the boyfriend of a former student, needing drug money, was always suspected.) The school did pay to replace the computers. It took months for the replacement to be ordered, and then DD left it in the backseat of her car about six weeks after we got it and guess what? Someone sent a brick through the window and stole it (on her birthday!). So BIG lesson learned there. And she's been SUPER careful about all her stuff since then, so I really felt for her about these books!

Thanks again!!!